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CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
“FIRST-DATE ANNIVERSARY”
by
Christian McDonald & Seth Hatfield
FADE IN:
INT. LARRY’S HOUSE - DAY
We are TIGHT ON an AQUARIUM OF TROPICAL FISH, angled THROUGH THE
GLASS on LARRY, as he stares skeptically at the fish.
LARRY
You know, Cheryl... I don’t understand
where this new fish thing comes from.
I mean, what is it? Some kind of
mid-life aquatic thing?
CHERYL
Larry... why do you have to question
everything? I’ve always liked fish.
They’re calming, don’t you think?
LARRY
(Zenned-out)
No... uh, no...
CHERYL
I’ve always wanted an aquarium, but
it’s much easier now that we have our
little fish-tank expert Satchel next
door. He’s going to come by once a
week and do all of the maintenance.
LARRY
Ahhhh, SATCHEL! Satchel this, Satchel
that. I’ve been hearing quite a bit
about Satchel the past weeks. It’s
like the fish-tank man is the poolman,
or the milkman, or the pizza man.
CHERYL
Larry... he’s only 13.
LARRY
Yeah, but I’ve seen the way he looks
at you. He’s creepy. You know those
kinda guys, when they get around
women, they get all weird. Satchel’s
gonna be one of them. Mark my words.
Larry demonstrates “creepy” by leaning in close and making
darting glances at Cheryl’s bosom.