Original filename: Confessions.pdf
Author: Kat Neall
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Yes. I know you’re lookinsg at me, going ‘what! Two chapters in one week! Are you feeling ok?” ye s
I’m fine thanks for asking but I just got my school laptop and I realised a great way to procrastinate
at school, is to write more BIH chapters. Lol, the teachers have no idea!!! BTW school holidays
start today, so I’m hoping for at least two chapters in the next two weeks. It should be pretty close to
finishing anyway. Ok so, slight warning here. Lime ahead, not too graphic though, so don’t
worry. I also have some jobs for you guys at the bottom if you’re interested. I don’t know why I
bother though; you’re not reading this one ;). Enjoy.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE ACADEMY, ETHAN OR TASHA, OR ANY OTHER WORKS BY RICHELLE MEAD, SHE
OWNS THEM. I OWN A SHIT LENOVO SCHOOL LAPTOP THAT HAS EVERY WEBSITE OF ANY KIND OF INTEREST BLOCKED
UNTIL I FINISH SCHOOL.
In the end, after Tasha had recovered from her tears, they occupied the small sofa in the front room
of their cell. For a long time, Tasha lost count of how long, they just held each other. Her chest
against his back, his strong arms wrapped around her lithe body, her hands holding delicately but
deceptively sturdy onto his arms.
While she had recovered from the tears, her fears still ran rampant in her mind. What if he
doesn’t love me anymore, what if the only reason he is doing this is out of pity, what if he can’t
stand me anymore, what if he hates me. What if, what if, what if.
If she wasn’t so concerned that what her mind was telling her was true, she would probably
be laughing at herself. Oh, how she wished she could laugh right now, to chuckle away her problems
like leaves in the wind. If only, her insides, right now, felt like sawdust.
It was the first time either of them had spoken, yet somehow they had chosen to speak at the exact
same time. Maybe that was how in tune they really were. While she never recalled them actually
finishing each other’s sentences, to Tasha at least, it had always felt as if Ethan was in her mind, as if
she knew exactly what he was thinking, and she had little doubt he did too.
It was always there.
“Tasha, love, you go first.” Ethan said, nuzzling the side of neck. Like every time he touched
her, she felt the left side of her neck burst into flames before settling into a dull spark when his lips
moved on. She never got used to the feeling. Tasha had spent all of her adolescence not believing in
a connection or feeling as such an even when she did, she never really wanted it anyway.
Now she was berating herself for not wanting it, believing in it. She knew how foolish it was,
but part of her couldn’t help but hope that if she had, she could have found Ethan earlier, and
maybe the two of them wouldn’t be in this mess, stuck in a cell, knowing the next time they would
leave, it would be to visit their death.
She sighed, she felt troubled, but she knew Ethan would listen to her struggles. As selfish as
it sounded, it was still true, he was still Ethan. “I’m sorry, you know.” she started, she heard him
snicker behind her but she kept going. There was no stopping her, not today.
“If there was any way to get you out of here, so only I would die, and you would live, I would
use it. Even if it meant going back in time and never meeting you. Never talking to you or saying your
name.” and as she said it, she meant every word. Because a world where Ethan was safe from her
from everyone and everything, was better than a world where he would die for loving her.
“Tasha, you know”‐
“No, Ethan, listen please love, I”‐ she started to cry again, God, what was with her today. She
had never been this emotional in her life, not when her parents told her she couldn’t have a dog
when she was six, not when her brother and sister‐in‐law died.
She wiped away the traitor tears threatening her composure as she distractedly thought of
how strange it was that everything to do with her mental health seemed to come back to Lucas and
When Tasha thought she had smeared away all of her tears, she only started crying again,
harder than before. Worried she might have scared off Ethan, she looked to him for reassurance.
Seeing the worry, the love, in his eyes she tried to continue through her sobs.
“Because I would much rather never meet you at all, as horrible as it sounds, than”‐ and
here was where she broke down harder, but determined as she was, she only continued.
“I mean, then I could… never hurt… you. Never use… you… like i… did… Everything that… has
happened… to you in… the last… few months… is because of me. I asked for… your help. I got you
locked up. I… I…”
She had so much more to say to him, so much to beg for, but Tasha was interrupted by
Ethan pulling her around to face him, then the feel of his lips on hers. As distraught as she was at this
moment, she couldn’t help but be distracted by the feel of his smooth lips moving in sync with hers,
fitting perfectly with hers as if they were made for each other.
Like with every kiss, she couldn’t help but feel as if her and Ethan’s souls merged some. Sure
there were times where it truly happened, as if she couldn’t tell the difference between her and
Ethan, when they were making love, for instance, where the feeling was so intense, she thought she
was going to collapse, but during times like this, it was if the two of them were trying hard to reach
that level on a kiss alone. As if they were trying to broadcast their souls like a radio station, trying
hard to get the other to so desperately believe what they are trying to say.
She could almost feel what Ethan was trying to say to her.
“Forget it, Tash. Don’t worry. I love you.”
And although she realised it could have been her subconscious telling her what she so
desperately needed to hear, she believed every single word of it.
Frantic as she was to prove her forgiveness, to give so much more, she straddled his legs
with hers, hauled her body as close as she could towards his. Their lips crashed together at an
anxious pace now. Tasha felt as if his hands were everywhere, her back, her shoulders, her legs, her
hips. She felt lightheaded already but she couldn’t finish this yet by passing out now.
She owed Ethan so much still.
Not just her body, or her mind, her heart.
OK so the aforementioned jobs. Hmmm
Banner maker. Nothing to serious, just a chance to muck around & have fun, show how you
see Tasha and Ethan. Seriously knock yourself out. If I get more than one, I’ll put a poll on my profile
and you’s can vote for you fave.
Beta‐reader. I really want need one of these. I’m sick of going through my chapters once
they’re up and finding all sorts of mistakes :<
if you would like to submit any of these, email me at katneall@ gmail. Com because I don’t trust the
FF.net messaging system.
For those of you who want previews mention it in a review – you know how much I love
them*nudge,nudge. Wink,wink*‐ or email me either through the site or katneall@ gmail. Com
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