UROPHILIA .pdf

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Original filename: UROPHILIA.pdf
Author: Marcus R. Burton

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What is urophilia?



Urophilia, or urolagnia, is a sexual variation in which a person derives sexual
excitement from urine or urination.



Plainly put, they get excited by wee.



Recent research by top historians has
revealed that many evil figures throughout history were urophiliacs: including
Hitler, Stalin, Fred (formerly Sir) Goodwin, and Freddy Krueger.



Experts recommend the following precautions when dealing with urophiliacs:


Protective clothing & gloves



Breathing apparatus



No financial responsibility



A 5m ‘safe zone’



UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES
SHOWER WITH A UROPHILIAC.
YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE.

MARCUS FOR SUCC TREASURER

(Sorry Pete.)

Urophilia and You: As Dangerous As It Sounds…?

UROPHILIACS
ARE AN INSIDIOUS MENACE
Whilst it may seem that what
people get up to in the privacy
of their own showers is nobody’s business but their own,
recent research has demonstrated the following:

Though many great leaders
of our society — Bear
Grylls, for instance — drink
their urine to survive, there
are those who do so for
more perverse reasons than
it’s sterile and they like the
taste.



Urophiliacs are responsible
for 82% of global warming
through their lengthy showers.



Thousands of kittens and
puppies across the globe
die annually at the hands of
urophiliacs.



Over 90% of the shareholders and directors of the
companies who caused the

2008 financial crash were
urophiliacs. This proves
that they cannot be trusted
with any financial responsibility at all.


I’ve run out of ideas already, so here’s a nice cartoon to reinforce my point:


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