AnswerMyQuestioning TEASER (PDF)

EXT. THE HOUSE -- DAY
Ben opens the door.
Hi, I'm...

BEN

Ben's jaw drops as he looks at the most beautiful girl with
an Adam's apple he's ever seen. JESSIE, a short and beautiful
girl with a Cleopatra haircut smiles awkwardly, waiting for
Ben to finish. Ben looks her up and down, admiring the
gorgeous girl.
Ben.
Who?

JESSIE
BEN

JESSIE
You're Ben? It says so on your
nametag.
Jessie pokes him where his nametag is on his Fat-Cutters
shirt. Ben giggles like a girl, then coughs it off and mans
up.
BEN
Yeah. Yeah, I am Ben. Can I help
you with something?
Ben looks passed her towards the street.
BEN (CONT’D)
Your car break down or something?
JESSIE
No. I'm here to look at the room
for rent.
Ben tries to hide his disappointment. As beautiful as she is,
they're looking for a MALE roommate.
BEN
Actually, we're looking for a...
Ben gets lost in Jessie's eyes. He CAN'T let this girl leave
without talking to her.
BEN (CONT'D)
...uh, yeah. Come on in.

2.

INT. THE HOUSE - LIVING ROOM -- DAY
Ben closes the door behind Jessie. Jessie glances around the
living room. She's a bit shocked to find it in such a mess.
She sees Darryl playing his game.
BEN
That's Darryl. He's in another
world right now. Let's talk in the
kitchen. Ben leads Jessie into the
KITCHEN
Ben smiles awkwardly when they approach the kitchen table
that's covered with dirty plates and beer cans. Jessie forces
a polite smile before carefully putting her expensive purse
on it.
BEN (CONT’D)
Have a seat over here.
Ben, ever the gentlemen, pulls out a chair for her, but in
doing so reveals a pile of porno magazines. He quickly pushes
the chair back in and moves to another one.
BEN (CONT'D)
Nope, not this one.
Jessie didn't notice the magazines, much to Ben's relief. Ben
pulls out another chair.
BEN (CONT'D)
(whispering)
Please....
This chair is perfectly fine. Ben flashes an accomplished
smile. Jessie sits.
BEN (CONT’D)
Want something to drink?
Jessie looks at the beer cans on the table.
JESSIE
No, I'm fine. Thank you.
Ben grabs a beer and takes a seat next to her.
JESSIE (CONT'D)
I have to say, I really like the
place so far.

3.

Ben cracks his beer.
Good.

BEN

Ben takes a swig of his beer and loses himself in her
beautiful eyes again. If Darryl was in another world, then
Ben is in another universe. He doesn't even blink. That would
be a sin, wasting even a microsecond not looking at her. Ben
is soon brought back to reality...
JESSIE
Well, Drill me.
Ben spits his beer all over. Jessie does her best to avoid
the spray.
JESSIE (CONT'D)
Beer goes in the mouth, Ben.
BEN
I'm so sorry. What did you say?
JESSIE
I said "grill me." I assume you
want to know all about your
potential housemate.
BEN
Oh, grill. That does make more
sense.
JESSIE
More sense than what?
Nothing.

BEN

JESSIE
This is the part where you ask me
if I do any drugs. No, I don't. Do
I plan on having friends over?
Occasionally, and I think you'd
like them, if you know what I mean.
BEN
(flirting)
Really? You think you know my type,
eh? You just met me.
JESSIE
I can tell.
Their eyes lock.

4.

Can you?
Hmm-hmm.

BEN
JESSIE

Jessie looks away and cracks a small smile.
BEN
I have to say this, and this is
going to sound crazy and creepy,
but I have to.
Ben forces a chuckle.
BEN (CONT'D)
You are the most beautiful girl I
have ever seen in my life.
Jessie blushes.
Ben pounds on the table, angry with himself. That was a
stupid to say.
BEN (CONT'D)
Wow. That was....wow. Sorry, I
couldn't go another second without
saying that. You're absolutely
gorgeous. Stunning.
So...congratulations on that.
They share a laugh at Ben's expense.
JESSIE
Thanks. Congratulations on...
Jessie looks around the room.
JESSIE (CONT'D)
Your rug. It really ties the room
together.
BEN
Did you just drop a Lebowski quote
on me? Because I will give you a
set of keys right now.
I did.

JESSIE

5.

BEN
Nice. Sorry about this awkwardness,
I'm never this bold. This is very
strange.
JESSIE
Sure it is. Is this why your last
housemate left? Sexual harassment?
BEN
No, I didn't mean, I just, I, uh.
JESSIE
I'm kidding. Don't worry about it.
Thank you for the compliment, Ben.
BEN
Yeah, just had to get that off the
ol' chest.
JESSIE
Feel better?
Ben takes a deep breath.
BEN
Much. Well please go on. You were
doing a great job interviewing
yourself there.
Really?

JESSIE

BEN
Yeah, plus I have no idea what to
ask you to be honest, so this is
educational.
Ben leans back in his chair and rests his hands behind his
head. Jessie reaches into her purse and takes out some
papers.
JESSIE
You want to know if I have
references.
She shows him a piece of paper and puts it on the table.
JESSIE (CONT’D)
I do. You want to know if I have
good credit and will be able to pay
my personal bills as well as house
bills.

6.

She waves another piece of paper and puts it on the table.
I can.

JESSIE (CONT'D)

BEN
That was impressive. How many times
have you done this routine?
Too many.

JESSIE

BEN
Who would say no to you?
Jessie claps her hands softly and giggles.
JESSIE
So we're housemates now?
The happiness drains from Ben as he realizes this has already
gone too far. He grabs his beer and finishes it.
BEN
Actually, I'm sorry. This is my
fault. Actually, we're looking for
a MALE roommate.
Ben avoids eye contact.
BEN (CONT'D)
Darryl set up the roommate finder
online and, he smokes a lot of
weed, and well he must have not
specified that part.
He did.

JESSIE

Ben's confused.
BEN
I don't get it then. Why would you
come here...
Ben starts to figure it out. The color leaves his face.
BEN (CONT'D)
...if you knew...
Jessie confirms his suspicion with a nod. Looking as pale as
a ghost, Ben stands up.

7.

Excuse me.

BEN (CONT'D)

Ben walks out of the kitchen and into the
LIVING ROOM
Where Darryl is still gaming.
door.

Ben walks straight towards the

DARRYL
Don't forget juice boxes.