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To Allow A New – Truly Good Relationship Into Your Life
STOP EATING SOUR GRAPES!
By Sparkle Phillips – author of Finding Your Soul Mate
If you want to attract a new, exciting, loving, amazing relationship into your life, then this is THE
Most Critical Thing YOU Need To Do!
Sour grapes, the “Oh, I’m better off without it,” mentality will keep that beautiful love partner away.
It is very easy to fall into this trap. For instance, your girlfriend calls you up and tells you of a hassle
she is having with her boyfriend and you say, “I’m so glad I’m not dealing with that!” Or worse yet, a
friend calls you up and tells you of a wonderful time they had with their significant other and it makes
you jealous. Instead of being happy for her, you think to yourself, “Who would want that anyway? I’m
glad I don’t have that.”
If you know any of the teachings of the Law of Attraction, you know that thoughts and their
associated feelings are powerful and these powerful thoughts lead to the manifestations in your life.
The sour grapes thoughts, while tempting, need to be avoided at all costs because they don’t serve
you, not at all!
There is a chapter in the book “Finding Your Soul Mate” where I talk about “If you really wanted it...”
and it is based on an epiphany I had once going through a class I took about breaking the bonds of
our self-imposed limits. The statement was, “If you really wanted it, you’d have it already. There’s
some payoff you’re getting for not having it and that is why it isn’t in your life yet.” Whatever “it” is –
be it a loving relationship, wealth, health, etc. In my case, it was a loving relationship.
I dug deep and asked myself what my “Payoffs” were for not having a partner in life and I sure came
up with a big list. It almost had me convinced that I didn’t need anyone when I started to examine
the up-side of being alone.
I didn’t have to clean up after anyone.
I didn’t have to wait up to see for them to come home.
I didn’t have to wonder if they were being faithful to me.
I didn’t have to worry about joint finances.
I didn’t have to worry about sharing my time with someone who might want to do something
other than what I wanted to do.
• And on and on and on and on...
We were asked to write out what our payoffs were and then we were asked to examine each one
and figure out something important about each one.
Did we really need that or would giving that gripe up be worth having the manifestation?
Would being able to cooperate with someone else about finances be worth having someone in my
Would I mind cleaning up after someone if I got to cuddle them on the couch later? Yeah!
Would I mind watching some other shows on TV if it meant that I could enjoy the sensation of being
loved? Duh, Yeah!
After I examined each payoff, I threw it away if it felt like sour grapes, and if it was important, I
figured out how to see a payoff in it – when I had someone to share it with.
Does this type of “inner work” really work? Well, in my case, I suffered from two failed marriages
and just broke up with someone after dating for 1.5 years. I’d been without a relationship for more
than a year. I took this 10 week course, and not only did I meet the man of my dreams, we were
engaged before the course ended!
I asked the Universe before I started this course for a “Partner In Every Way.” My husband and I
own two businesses that we work together, we spend almost every waking moment together and we
enjoy every second of it!
If you want to know more about my story, and all the lessons that I learned. Lessons I believe you
can apply to your life, please get “Finding Your Soul Mate” by Sparkle Phillips at
If you are in need of a manifestation on the subject of Wealth and Abundance, please get my other
book “Finding Your Fortune” at http://ForTheWealthOfAll.com
Thanks and Happy Manifesting!
Pardon my Anonymity
I’m not going to use my real name – because I am well enough known – that if my name was
known, all these men could be angry with me for telling my story the way it was (for me).
Anonymity gives me the freedom to tell my story completely and openly without fear of damaging
someone else’s feelings. If I had to worry about someone else’s feelings, I might be tempted to
sugar coat, water down an interpretation or spare them a harsh criticism.
That being said, my toughest criticism will be on myself. I strive to live a completely empowered life
and will never claim victim status. I am who I am because of the experiences that brought me thus
far on my path.
To paraphrase Richard Bach (one of my favorite authors) – “You gave your life to become who you
are today, was it worth it?” My answer is yes. I hope yours is too.
Finding Your Soul Mate
Sparkle Phillips’ last boyfriend dumped her flat,
and that was the greatest gift
he could have ever given her!
That breakup sent her life into a tailspin where she was forced to examine what had been
happening with the men in her life for the past 45 years.
Sparkle went through an amazingly revealing process that helped her destroy all the ’old
programming’ she had about the opposite sex and figure out why every relationship she’d ever had
were basically carbon copies of each other. Once the culprit had been found, the false foundation of
love in her life was released and rebuilt. Now she is happily married to a man who can only be
described as her soul mate and her partner in love, life, work and more.
Sparkle is a systems analyst. So being an observer, seeing patterns and determining solutions is
what she has been trained to do and she does it very well. When she realized her experience
actually had duplicatable steps, she decided to re-live and re-analyze the steps it took her to release
the past so that she could embrace her future.
Her story is funny, insightful and very identifiable. If you’re still having troubles in your love life, then
this book will give you "Aha Moments" and help you realize some of the false foundations you may
have built your love life on.
Finding Your Soul Mate
He broke up with me the day after Christmas. Luckily, I had found a new networking group to join
the week before Thanksgiving. Luckily for me, those people were very caring and sweet and got to
know me on a personal level (before the breakup, when I was in a good space) as well as a
professional level for about a month before he broke up with me. So, when I showed up at the
weekly business lunch and looked like I’d been through the ringer, they all helped take care of me –
emotionally. The support I received from them was awesome and I still say my ‘gratefuls’ for those
I also went back to Al-Anon because I wanted a place to sort out my thoughts and receive some of
their feedback since they helped me through the divorce a few years earlier.
About a month after the breakup, I was still in a funk and one gentleman who did energy healing
sought me out. Just because I looked so awful, he offered to give me a complimentary hour of his
work to help me. I agreed and we stayed late after the luncheon to do some work.
His technique was muscle testing (if you don’t know what that is, check this website out:
http://findabookforme.com/MuscleTesting.php). He asked me a boat-load of questions and my arm
either got weak or I resonated with the statement and my arm stayed strong. He took me down a
path and I honestly don’t remember all the testing questions and statements, but they were pretty
basic, like “I love myself” and so on. The answers that my subconscious was putting forth were
pretty telling. There was one question he asked and I’ll never forget it or my reaction to it.
He asked the question, “Does the thought of a man rejecting you make you feel stronger?” My body
tensed up and my arm got so strong and I remember thinking, “Yeah, of course, bring it on, I can
take it. What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger!” We both stopped and looked at each other. He
had found it, the crux of my problem. I sought out rejection because subconsciously, I felt it made
me a stronger woman. OMG! That was a turning point, although I wasn’t quite sure what to do with
Please, please, please never say those words, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger,”
because, at least in my experience, it drew in one bad situation after another.
Subconsciously, I thought it was character building. In reality, it just led me through a
I went home after that experience and started to call my friends who were pretty in-tune with
spiritual and psychological matters and told them what happened. They all congratulated me for
finding this out. They were happy for me, but I was still confused and mad.
One of these friends finally asked me to get quiet and just let out the first thing that came to my
mind. I agreed. She asked me where I had originally learned about rejection. My answer surprised
me. It was when I was 8 years old and my grandfather told me he was never going to kiss and hug
me good night again. That’s what came up. I had buried that old memory - instead of being forgotten
- it had become the foundation on which I based all my future relationships. That was the
cornerstone that my subconscious used to base all my reactions when it came to men.
(more reviews on Amazon.com)
Whether you’re a man or woman - looking for a man or a woman, these principles apply. This book
is an easy read, loaded with humor and epiphanies.
“What I really loved about your “Find Your Soul Mate” was that it was down to earth. It was easy to
read and understand. Nothing in it was difficult, and having Sparkle’s experiences as examples
helped provide a real-world, step-by-step process that allowed me to reach my goals too. I now
have the woman of my dreams. I didn’t have to ‘settle for less’ as my new love is everything I
dreamed of (plus things that I didn’t and that made her that much better)! I would say to anyone
desiring a ‘true relationship’ this is a must read book!”
To find out more about Finding Your Soul Mate please visit: