The Argentine Experience Times edition 1 (PDF)

August 2013

The Argentine Experience Times
Subdue birthday celebrations highlight Richard’s great legs

The celebration of Richard’s 31st year alive was

observed with a quiet affair at his home in
Palermo, Buenos Aires, which quickly turned
into a debaucherous event complete with
costumes, masks and faux moustaches.
The party, originally scheduled to begin at 7pm
with coffee and cake, soon took a turn with the
arrival of guests brandishing vodka, music and a
lax attitude towards heavy drinking.
In a sign of what was to come, the birthday boy
was dressed early by his friends in a traditional
English birthday outfit, complete with nappy,
dummy and fake breasts. Not satisfied with the
completeness of the outfit, Richard was later seen
adding more items
including women’s
leggings, a
woman’s floppy hat
and a showering
of purple glitter,
which was applied
with the nimble
and expert
handiwork of
someone who
appeared used to
showering their
face with a foreign
liquid.

Guests were also seen getting into the spirit of the
festivities, decorating themselves with a range of
colourful
masks,
resulting
in scenes
of what
can only
be
described
as the
weirdest
superheroes after work drinks.
With music pumping throughout the house
courtesy of Alex’s laptop DJing skills and
Fernando’s innovative walking speaker system,
guests partook in many a deep conversation in
the living room, garden and of course the
kitchen, which, contrary to its size, proved to be
one of the more popular meeting points of the
night.
“I had assumed the marking of my 31st birthday
would pass fairly nonchantly, however I soon
realised I had severely underestimated my
friends,” remarked Richard from under a table at
4.30am.
Friend and employer Leon Lightman added,
“Earlier in the day we had set out with a different
costume idea in mind, however upon walking

into the shop one outfit really stood out. Anyone
who knows Richard knows he has a propensity
to throw his toys and spit his dummy out on a bidaily regular basis, which is where the
inspiration for his outfit came from. His
additions, while confusing to the theme, did
bring a certain
element of his own
personality, namely a
female one.”
Guests, who enjoyed
a menu of quilmes,
rum and coke and
a variety of sweets,
lollies and lollipops, were seen leaving Richard’s
home as the sun came up. Many were overheard
to remark, while a great party, the highlight was
definitely Richard’s girly chicken legs, with many
confused as to how to it made them feel given,
“they were the best legs they had ever seen.”

Expert tossers showcase flair at first birthday party
The Argentine Experience celebrated its first

birthday in the local last Sunday 18 August with a
pizza making evening.
Gathering around the bar, the evening
began with drinks, including the well-known
traditional Brazilian pre-pizza making drink of red
wine and coca cola, which Fernanda proclaimed
would “help with creativity”.
In the kitchen,
Ani expertly led
the class
preparing the
ingredients,
including
mushrooms,
peppers, bacon
and tomatoes,
before it quickly
descended into
scenes
reminicsent of
a kindergarten
teacher letting
children play with play-doh for the first time.
Founder of The Argentine Experience Leon, led
the first wave of team members to create their
pizza bases, demonstrating his considerable, yet
not unsurprising, tossing skills.
While some team members favoured more
unconventional shapes, such as Carla’s horseshoe
and Fernanda’s pyramid structure, Richard chose
to stick with what he knows, constructing a replica
of his penis which measured in at 2.5cm.
In one of the more surprising twists of the
evening, chef Bo was unable to make a pizza base in

his first attempt and had
to call for assistance in
the form of
sommelier Juan.
Together they managed
to make a pizza base
which resembled
Australia, although
Aussie native Amie
looked less than
impressed.
Last to create his
masterpiece was Pepe, who decided ‘bigger is
better’, a saying Richard was surprised to learn.
The mammoth pizza
base measured just
under 47m wide
and took seven men
to carry. Pepe also
revealed this was not
his first pizza making
rodeo, adding a beef
rolled crust around his
monstrosity. Consumed with jealousy that he had
not thought to add a layer of beef to his creation,
Richard was seen hiding a whole chilli in the rolled
crust as Pepe’s back was turned. Revenge has been
vowed.
Bases created, the
assembly
production line of
ingredients took
place near the bar.
Chatter amongst
the team mostly

consisted of ‘smack
talk’, with many under
the misguided belief
that a combination of
pork juice, chillis and
incinerated bacon
would win them best
pizza.
With a swift oven
rotation policy in place,
pizzas were churned
out of the kitchen with
German-like efficiency.
At one stage, pizza de Leon claimed up to four
victims with his chilli infused conbination resulting
in many an Argentine, and Englishman, sweating
profusely.
In the end, after a rather ambiguous, and some
would say gender biased, voting process, Richard’s
pizza was declared the winner, with the judging
panel describing it as “an experience”. Richard
celebrated in his usual modest fashion, with many
overheard saying they had in actual fact found the
biggest tosser of the
evening.