delmonte .pdf

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Original filename: delmonte.pdf
Title: delmonte
Author: Brendan Flanagan

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Delmonte Canada Inc.
2150 Lake Shore Boulevard West
Toronto, ON M8V 1A3
Canada
Re: A unified definition of what is "very cherry" and tomato inequality
Dear Employee,
As the first line of corporate defence to the hubbub of consumer affairs, I sincerely hope that
you both take the time to read this letter, and to forward it through the chain of command. As a
leader among the food products companies headquartered in Canada, you have attained
extremely high loyalty levels in your domestic market. This is not a fluke, your marketing is
classic and your products are timeless! Specifically, we should celebrate your fruits division.
In the commercial food sales business we can define true success (in my opinion) as being
able to put your product on the bottom shelf and to have it sell consistantly! Understanding
this, we can both appreciate the value that your Delmonte "Very Cherry" Fruit Cups hold over
your companies bottom line. Being a subsidiary of ConAgra Foods, Inc. and under the
scrutiny of the accomplished Gary Rodkin (Chief Executive Officer) I'm well aware of the
importance put on profitability.
However, not completely understanding the strenuous margins the international food canning
industry is faced to operate within, I am writing to you not to pester but to push. It is my hopes
to clear up a misunderstanding in the canned goods aisle. Your products are multi-faceted,
multi-marketed, and under appreciated. I believe strongly that with a push, we can collaborate
on a "very cherry' canned product that is in fact bountiful in the cherry department. Recently I
purchased two packages totalling forty eight cans of "very cherry". Of this supply, I estimate I
personally consumed upwards of 12 cans, none seemed to quench my desire for cherryness.
Upon questioning the other members of your products consumption wether they had enough
cherry, unanimously it was a no. Refusing to slander your product, I took it on my own to
conduct a small case study (to which I can provide both receipts and photographs).
Living in the tangible and real world, I conducted a study on your product by opening and
counting the morsels of cherry inside. Reality hit me like an empty bag when the results of my
study showed that your "very cherry" canned product, has in it only one cherry per can…
sliced into four quadrants. Are we actually accepting this as very cherry? I certainly am not!
It's almost blasphemous to even make reference to any cherry at all, given the Amount of
Snack per Serving (A.S.S) compared to the Relative Amount of Product Expected (R.A.P.E).
While the A.S.S value is fixed at 1, the amount of R.A.P.E is nearly quadruple that at 4*, my
current preference is that the A.S.S value equal the amount of R.A.P.E
I am formally requesting you change your ways, and increase the serving amount of cherry
per cup. If you do not comply with my demands, I will sharpie in the word "Some" over the
"Very" part of the "Very Cherry" fruit cup logo of all cans I ever come in contact with again.
I appreciate your time and hope you can appreciate my efforts to improve and revitalize the

canned fruits industry. While undergoing this product restructuring I would also impose on you
the responsibility of removing the can's lip, as there are always a few pieces of fruit unwilling
to exit the can and I feel mildly spastic trying to dig for them.
Sincerely,
Brendan Flanagan
Ps: The Aylmer brand of Delmonte Canada has both a "Fruit" can, and a "Tomatoes" can. I'm
wondering who in the food sciences department decided that tomatoes were not a fruit and
should therefor, never come into contact with the others. It is my belief that you could cut
down on packaging costs by amalgamating both of these products into one can and sticking
with the tittle of "Fruits" or perhaps leaving them separate but rebranding as "Fruits less
tomatoes" and "Tomatoes with no other fruits".
-__- The lies {shudder}

*Depending on the specific model used. Here the model is where all of the sample population (N=1) believed there should be 4 cherries
instead of the 1 currently provided.


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