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Isha Forest Flower Sep 2014.pdf

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Family Conflict

Sadhguru on Turning a Battle
into a Training Ground
The following is an excerpt from a sathsang with
Sadhguru in London, UK, on 8 June 2014.

Questioner: Namaste, Sadhguru. My question is,
when there is conflict and discord in the immediate
family – with one’s parents or siblings for example –
irrespective of what the reasons may be, how does
one arrive at some harmony?
Sadhguru: Among the various social structures,
family is the smallest unit. Once we have a
problem with even the smallest unit of two, three,
four or five people – whatever you have chosen –
you can imagine the larger problems between
communities, nations, religions, and races. Since
you said parents and siblings, you have one excuse –
you did not choose these people. If it was
about husband and wife, there was a choice –
you could not blame it on someone else.
Family is a good training ground for you to know
your limitations. You are cocooned with a certain

number of people – which means every day,
whatever you do, you have to step on each other’s
toes. There are things they do that you hate, but still
you have to be with them. It is not like with your
Facebook family of 10,000 – if there is someone you
don’t like, you click him out. There is no challenge
in that. But with your real family, even if you do not
like them, you still have to be there.
Family is a beautiful place for you to grow beyond
your likes and dislikes. Your likes and dislikes are
the basis of compulsiveness within you. When you
are stuck up with likes and dislikes, consciousness
is out of question. The moment you like or dislike
something, you naturally behave compulsively –
favorably compulsively to what you like, in a
reactive way compulsively to what you do not like.
Family is a cocoon where whether you like it or
not, you have to be with these people for a certain
period of time. Either you make this a bitter
experience, or you learn to transcend your likes


September 2014