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The Real Housewives of Jefferson County .pdf



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“The Real Housewives of Jefferson County”
INTRO:
(SINGLE INTROS)
Vickie (Stacy): “Don’t hate me because I have it all, hate me because I’m beautiful.”
Gretchen (Amy): “Standing out is much more fun than fitting in.”
Lydia (Kaleigh): “You only live once, but if you work it right once is enough.”
Emily (Erica): I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I’m just gonna do me.”
(EVERYONE TOGETHER BEING SASSY)
SCENE 1:
(GRETCHEN & LYDIA PEEK OUT THE WINDOW AT EMILY & HOMER WALKING DOWN THE STREET
WHILE GOSSIPING)
SCENE 2:
(GRETCHEN TALKING TO THE CAMERA BY HERSELF, ‘CONFESSIONAL STYLE’.)
GRETCHEN: (SCANDALOUS) “I heard Emily went out and bought a monogrammed bathroom
set, and some men’s clothing like she’s married or something. Emily Barron? HA! This
doesn’t make any sense to me! What I don’t get is, I’m not saying anything, okay? But.. I
heard that Homer went for the .. “boys.”
SCENE 3:
(GRETCHEN, VICKIE, LYDIA SITTING AROUND TALKING ON PORCH OR WHERE EVER.)
VICKIE: IMPROV talking about Homer. The town’s people didn’t like Homer because he’s a
rough-talking, charismatic northerner and an overseer in town working on a sidewalk-saving
project who went missing after Emily was seen buying items for him.

LYDIA: IMPROV talking about the smell from Emily’s house. (From the story: Then we said,

"She will persuade him yet, because Homer himself had remarked – he liked men, and it was
known that he drank with the younger men in the Elks' Club – that he was not a marrying
man .”)
GRETCHEN: (NOT WORD FOR WORD, JUST AN IDEA) “You know what? I heard from Betty,
that Jim had heard Darlene talking to Jeffrey about how John was in the drugstore the other
day & he saw Emily buying rat poison. But the thing is Emily just stared at the druggist
when he asked her what she needed it for, she just stared him down. Why would Emily, of
ALL people need poison ?”

SEMI-IMPROV talking about Emily buying rat poison (Arsenic)

from the druggist, but not telling her what she was going to use it for.
SCENE 4:
(LYDIA TALKING TO THE CAMERA BY HERSELF, CONFESSIONAL STYLE)
LYDIA: (NOT WORD FOR WORD JUST AN IDEA) “After talking to the girls the other day, I was
thinking about Emily.. And I REALLY hope that she doesn’t turn out like Old Lady Wyatt, her
Great-Aunt from her daddy’s side. I’ve heard around town that that old woman was
“completely crazy”. But maybe ‘crazy’ runs in her family. You know her daddy wouldn’t let
no man into Emily’s life. Who would of taken care of him if he had? And after he passed all
that she has left is her servant, Toby and I think a few cousins in Alabama. Hopefully they
are still alive. Maybe we could call them up to help her out a little bit, because the Lord
knows that that girl needs some help!”

SCENE 5:
(VICKIE AND GRETCHEN ARE SITTING AROUND TALKING)
VICKIE: IMPROV about Emily not having to pay taxes & how she ran the towns people out of
her house after they asked her to pay taxes. “I bet that those were the last people who she
let inside of her home. Heck, I haven’t been in that old house since my daughters last China
painting lesson!”
(PHONE RINGS) RING RING RING RING! RING RING RING! RING RING RING!
(GRETCHEN ANSWERS): “Hello”
LYDIA ON THE PHONE: “Have you heard the news?”
GRETCHEN: “No, I guess I haven’t. Tell me!”
LYDIA ON THE PHONE: “Emily died last night, and the towns people want all of US to check
out her house, and deal with her belongings.” (YOU CAN PROBABLY WORD THIS BETTER I’M
NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS!)
ENDING:
(NEXT TIME ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF JEFFERON COUNTY..)
(ALL 3 GIRLS WALKING UP TO EMILY’S (CREEPY) HOUSE)
(CUT SCENE TO “Tune in next week to see what the girls find!”)

 


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