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HERE IS YOUR FREE REPORT!
Included are a series of articles I
wrote in 2014- Including “Dating
Myths and Misconceptions”. I feel
that this series of articles contain
some essential ways to awaken
you to a reality in dating, and
hope you enjoy the hard work I
put into them.
Click here to start living these and
other dating tips IMMEDIATELY!
Matt DaVinci (copyrights 2014-
2015 (c) All Rights Reserved)
Free Report By Matt Davinci
For more information visit http://www.http://alphatransformation.weebly.com/
This report is intended for informational/entertainment purposes only.
It's not intended to replace any professional advice so results may vary.
Dating Myths and Misconceptions Part 1- "Wait and She'll Come Along..."
So I decided to make a lot of this free report about myths and misconceptions guys with less experience
get about dating. They get it from peers, parents, sisters, brothers, though often times its from female
peers or family members (more on this in a later post). One of the ones I've heard myself time and time
again, and have heard directed at others goes something like "well stop looking for a relationship and you'll
find one" or some permutation of this. I will say this, from my experience, it is TOTAL AND UTTER
I'm sorry to offend those who give this advice, but its overly simplistic and if done out of sheer pity,
COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. As a personal note, I was first told this at an early age, actually, age 13. I had
just gotten home from the roller skating rink from some buddies of mine, and was sad that both my friends
got to dance with two attractive females, while I was rejected for asking maybe one girl at the whole place
to dance during the dance songs .
I had lamented the rejection and was talking to my sister about it when she first gave me this answer that is
repeated far too often and that I see repeated far too often. Its like by the sheer will of the universe, God, or
whatever, that if you stop looking you'll magically find someone approaching you who will fulfill your desires
for a relationship or physical companionship. I'm sorry but from past experience and talking with countless
others, it just doesn't work that way. If you're a male in our society, especially one who is less social than
others, suffers from social anxiety, doesn't have model looks or personality or whatever, you really do have
to WORK FOR IT. It was almost three years after that conversation that I even had my first date, and
started even hanging out with girls, but even that turned into a disaster that didn't have me losing my
virginity until age 24.
Needless to say the ADVICE DIDN'T WORK. But without berating my sister for said advice, let's look at
what I think the intention of what was being said, rather than what was actually interpreted. I think what she
was trying to say is "Don't act desperate, live your life, and you'll meet people naturally". She should've
said "if you're an outgoing and happy person" but it was a little early in my development to know that I
wasn't one of those guys at the time. I think this may be the intention for all this type of advice, no matter
how its stated. But I say, why give this advice if its so misinterpreted, vague and unrealistic? What I think
people should say is: "Improve your life, be a happy person, but be on the lookout and go after those who
interest you when you encounter them, or put yourself in situations where you do encounter them" rather
than the former proclamations.
I think we would all be better if we were honest with each other, instead of giving hope to those who lack
experience. Of course the intention is to comfort the guy who is having trouble, but a little kick in pants
would be good in these situations. It wasn't only from my sister that I heard this from by the way, and to be
fair she gave me good advice later, but all in all it just illustrates a point that I am trying to make. The way
to get things in life is by doing, and going after what you want. If you are concerned with what others think
too much, or are "desperate" yes it will effect what you're going after. But nevertheless, being a positive
person, and being comfortable with oneself, AS WELL as being proactive is to me, the way to go for what
you want in life.
Dating Myths and Misconceptions Part 2- Make a Move- LOSE A FRIEND!
"Let's Just Be Friends".
Many a guy has heard these dreaded words uttered before. In utter disappointment a guy will hear these
words from time to time, in an attempt to get close to the woman in question, they will give up after losing
the opportunity to have a physical relationship with said woman.
They will be then known as the "buddy", sometimes an emotional tampon for the woman to vent their
frustrations on when they start dating the "bad boy". This is an eighties teen movie cliche, but there is some
truth to this, even if not as black and white as this trope may seem. So what is the reason behind this? I'm
not going to go into the science, or fully into the psychology behind the "friendzone" as its often called, but I
will go into what a guy can do to reduce the chances of this happening. True story, I have been put into the
friend zone a few times.
But ironically at least a few of these situations are where I was actually fully propositioned, but either didn't
read the queues or was so full of anxiety that I didn't know where to start. Truth be told, ironically, I've never
been in the friend zone a great many times, maybe because I've hung around mainly dudes in my life, and
having more female friends (just friends) may had done me better having a little bit more of a balance. But I
learned something early on, even when my dry spells were only getting a trickle of droplets so to speak,
that served me well.
Just a word of caution: If you're a self-righteous religious moralist, a self appointed arbiter of "good taste"
or otherwise an overly sensitive man child easily offended, STOP READING NOW. The following concepts
(however esoteric) may offend you. Also I should state, I WILL be discussing these aspects in future blog
posts and breaking them down further. But just for the brevity and to allow for time, I will discuss these
aspects as an introduction to them, and explain their surface level ideas in this post. I will also, as I explain
these concepts more in depth in future posts, give full credit to those who may have first proposed these
ideas. The first way to prevent the friendzone from happening in the first place, is by keeping track of what
is known by some dating coaches as "sexual state".
Sexual state is kind of hard to explain, its kind of like where you watch an old Hammer Vampire Horror film
and see the fog, the "atmosphere" of how the film is made. If there's this sexual undercurrent in the air,
regardless of what is spoken if you're talking to a girl, you're halfway to knowing what it is. Its this unspoken
undercurrent, where there is literally a "vibe" that you feel.
It goes beyond mere attraction, its usually a mutual thing that's going on between you and them. Its
something that shouldn't be forced (on oneself that is), though it can be, it usually leads to those
relationships or encounters where one feels regret for not being as attracted to someone as they should.
The "guilt" and "regret" I would be willing to wager that a man or woman often feels if they're sleeping with
someone they're unsure about is often a result of just not feeling this state or attraction to the other person.
If you know about "indicators of interest" and the subtle social queues that a woman puts out to show
they're interested, this is an indicator that you're on the right track, but only as long as you feel the same
"sexual tension" happening on your own. Now the time to be confident, to feel comfortable and at ease is
right at this moment. If you turn into a ball of melted jelly at this point, this is basically a lot of times where
the "Friendzone window" as I call it begins to open.
So this leads us to the second aspect of how to prevent the friendzone. Escalation. Escalation is one of the
most controversial words in the whole dating advice industry, because it makes people think of some really
ugly aspects of our society.
Escalation does NOT mean groping, harassment, assault or anything of that matter. It just means making
subtle moves and feeling the process taking place. It could be just holding hands, and making the move in
to kiss, but either way, the process needs to take place at some point in your interactions, or else that
friendzone window will open unfortunately. And all along the process here is the third aspect that one needs
to escape the friendzone. Flirting and seductive language. I would describe this as being the verbal
representation of sexual state. Its not saying really blunt things (though some guys I've known can get
away with this) its just teasing the girl in a playful way, making small references to something that you find
attractive with the girl (showing intent) and having the process coincide with everything else going on.
These three processes should be going on at pretty much the same time. In essence, a lot of the times I've
been "Friended" is where I didn't make a move at the right time, or ironically, didn't feel attraction to the
person totally myself. More on this later though, basically a lot of guys get friended because they don't have
the perception, or experience to know when and how to make "the move" and think that regular rapport that
they have amongst their male friends will get them the girl. Its simply not true, and however the above
processes seem complicated, trying to gauge past experiences and how they've played out will certainly
help the guy who is having trouble in this area.
The Power Of CHOICE!
One of the most important ideas within the ideas of dating and seduction is the power of choice. Choice
really is often the difference between desperation and a happy relationship founded on the right ideas and
attitudes. In discussing choice, let's define it first. I believe "choice" to be three or more choices. In fact I will
paraphrase the dating coach Eric Von Sydow "If you only have one choice you're a robot". Also, the word
"slave" would be appropriate. So how does this concept manifest itself in dating? I'm sure the readers of
this blog all know someone who had settled for someone in a relationship they shouldn't have, if not they
committed this act themselves. They settle for someone who doesn't really fulfill them, and bad
relationships, divorces, and other heinous things result that need not to have happened in the first place. Its
kind of the same concept that I will discuss in a future blog post about Christians who want to remain "pure
virgins" until married. If you were to buy a car, how would you know its any good if you don't take it for a
test run? The same goes for relationships and dating, and I've seen a lot of people make the mistake of
getting into a relationship with whoever comes along.