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Commitment phobia issues .pdf


Original filename: Commitment phobia issues.pdf
Title: Microsoft Word - Issuu
Author: Alan Edginton

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Commitment  Phobia  
 
A  fear  of  commitment  can  cause  great  upset,  anxiety  and  destruction  in  relationships.  It  
might  be  that  you’re  reluctant  to  take  that  next  step  with  a  long  term  partner  or  perhaps  
you‘re  struggling  to  begin  a  relationship  and  instead  find  solace  in  destructive,  repetitive  
behaviours.    
It  might  be  that  you  have  a  little  uncertainty  about  your  relationship  or  perhaps  you  
experience  absolute  terror  at  the  idea  of  committing  to  a  partner.  There  can  be  a  lot  of  
stigma  attached  to  the  fear  of  commitment  but  it’s  an  unpleasant  and  debilitating  situation  
for  those  struggling.    
There  are  a  few  common  reasons  why  you  might  avoid  commitment.    

Why  do  you  Fear  Commitment?  
You  feel  vulnerable  –  many  people  are  so  afraid  of  being  in  a  position  of  vulnerability  they  
build  barriers  around  themselves.  It’s  important  to  understand  where  this  fear  comes  from  
and  how  you  could  enter  into  a  relationship  without  experiencing  this  negativity.    
You  fear  change  –  sometimes  the  fear  of  having  to  change  or  give  up  certain  aspects  of  your  
life  might  prevent  you  taking  the  next  steps  in  a  relationship.  It’s  helpful  to  understand  what  
is  truly  important  to  you,  what  aspects  are  integral  to  your  life  and  which  are  just  excuses.  
You  have  unrealistic  expectations  –  do  you  crave  what  you  can’t  have  or  create  an  
impossible  checklist  for  perfection  that  no  one  can  ever  live  up  to?  Where  do  these  criteria  
come  from?  Could  they  be  a  sign  of  other  issues  or  insecurities?  
You  don’t  feel  ready  –  many  people  put  off  commitment  because  they  think  they  are  too  
young,  but  some  do  this  repeatedly  until  they  realise  they  regret  it.    
You  feel  trapped  –  feelings  of  being  ‘stuck’  or  of  ‘suffocation’  are  common  with  sufferers  of  
commitment  phobia  but,  instead  of  addressing  this,  people  often  end  relationships  in  order  
to  relieve  the  symptoms.  It’s  important  to  remember  that  your  partner  is  almost  never  the  
cause  of  these  feelings,  it’s  something  inside  you  that  leads  to  these  feelings  and  it  can  be  
relieved.    
You  replay  the  past  -­‐  a  destructive  behaviour  cycle  can  replay  itself  over  and  over  again.  If  
you  have  anxiety  about  commitment  you  might  behave  in  a  way  that  pushes  people  away  or  
sabotages  relationships.  We  may  tell  ourselves  it  wasn’t  our  fault,  but  if  you  took  another  
look  would  this  really  be  the  case?  

How  to  Overcome  your  Fear  of  Commitment  
These  signs  of  commitment  phobia  are  usually  indications  of  something  deeper.  What  is  it  
that  really  triggers  these  thoughts  and  behaviours  within  you?  What  is  causing  these  feelings  
of  panic,  fear  or  vulnerability?    
If  you  find  it  difficult  to  form  relationships  or  become  anxious,  withdrawn  or  destructive  as  
relationships  progress  you  will  benefit  from  relationship  coaching  or  hypnotherapy.  
 Relationship  coaching  will  help  you  to  work  through  your  issues  and  make  sense  of  any  
unwanted  feelings  and  behaviour  so  you  can  enjoy  healthier  relationships.  Sometimes  issues  

are  complex,  perhaps  relating  to  memories,  past  events,  emotions  and  unconscious  
motivations.  This  is  where  my  methods  of  advanced  hypnotherapy  can  help  you  understand  
and  uncover  hidden  triggers  that  may  be  affecting  you.  We’ll  work  together  to  create  a  plan  
that  can  yield  fast  results.  
 


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