CWposter ARamirez final .pdf

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b
sa
gu
d“
it
ike.
me
the
hist
ore
wh
re o
lyri
n to
ing
ryin
ost
as
wor
e al
d es
bef
oken
ew
ut I
unn s.
’m i
r so
ced
s, t
whe
g ho
e in
em
the
linke
ngin
. Th
er. I
sil y
bra
g fo
otin
ome
up r y bone
ight
tag
hone
en w
d, “b
I lov
e
e
h
i
,
r
n
n
d
s
n
m
e
f
p
t
i
c
d
e
o
t
r
a
e
o
,
v
d
o
b
d
n
r
e
e
y
p
a
s
a
d
a
n
h
a
e
h
s
I’d
efo
he
wa
end in m
dde
n an
rese
a re
r he
Mxiety a
tw
at t
erie
of le
e. I’v
y he
it b
ry,”
l a,
I no
lear
but mble
way
as
neve
g its
e th
hm
eir p
. Bu
ent
u se
S.”
ched
nove
f an
pora
oug
see, lt a ru
and
el y
tem
ledg
—the
into
T
had
lt th
akin
l ure
, yo
u
i
N
o
r
I
,
m
h
e
n
s
o
t
b
c
h
y
I
a
w
e
f
g
t
o
o
h
t
s
n
n
r
.
w
x
o
i
i

t
A
e
r
t
e
I
e
n
t
n
R
th
sig ’d fe
s
gre
thi
tra
be
gh
chu
iona
vor?
ack
e is
was
ever
f th
the
nfic
he k
M
ET
hour
the
dea
le to s I
stat
n tr
from
ee a
enou
l y it
riag
rt o
y it
ter—
g to
I’d n
th t
slow
a no
T
TH
unc , even a
ere
few
car
trai
ore
le en
nd.
to s
, wi
l pa
ide.
goin
ntua
the
e da
coun
ys,
w
rent
o
d
u
m
s
,
y
e
S
f
a
e
n
h
e
n
o
,
a
t
n
r
h
s
v
n
o
i
g
f
o
i
e
r
e
t
t
t
e
e
Y
s
a
E
w
a
f
s
n
h
he r
g
v
h
e
r
a
i
s
t
.
t
di
the
any
feeli
typ
or t
ecom
the
to v
h tr
in-e
mos
LWA
nd e
“It w
houg
n as
f
aun the nig
se a
t
ging
t
m
b
i
t
t
.
d
e
I
ace
a
e
e
r
n
l
n
u
i
A
v
n
e
d
y
I
h
c
n
o
r
,
w
e
p
o
o
e
e
a
e
e
e
t
v
e
a
m
r
h
h
b
,
’S
pla
w,
on—
ere,
e, fo
s. I’
ffer
xcit
e on
mem
now
deg
ain
bile
ysid
nd a
nt a
nd c
with roug
sno
T
ERE
t. A
dog
any
’m e
ed h
a di
his
s th
ours
ea
had
he s
ga
ount
mmo
fere
me y th
TH
poin
ut I
with
tter
l. It’
ing
ing
T
and
nd C
of c
em
cam
at t
fS
,
ng i
a
h
ddin
B
ndif
i
I ca silentl
g
h
a
m
e
D
o
a
,
f
i
l
d
s
t
.
t
.
a
d
n
i
r
m
f
i
a
b
N
t
i
n
f
e
i
e
t
e
o
g
,
e
t
n
sid
opp
es
es
ing
rvel
he G
gsta
sba
r fin
g at
ne o
e. It
gniz
givin sed
, str
a. “A
n, u
Wha
T
sm
a st
Fla
to t
cutt
ady
okin
e, “b
I ma
y hu
a lik
nks pas
afte
are
reco
ite o
en.
oom
atio
T
keep
een
e, lo
gm
n’t
e sh
and
wr
ing
Tha d, just
with
app
stin
ars
zen
avor
mity
at m
red,
b
i
s
T
o
h
i
n
s
t
e
h
e
f
e
i
e
t
t
c
r
g
d
e
u
i
t
x
a
n
i
d
y
s
s
v
b
o
o
c
h
n
s
a
e
I
y
s
l
i
n
s
y
r
e
i
e
g
n
o
rig
my
dit
nd
’s h
in lo
phy
slum
or s
lwa
fina
nnel
dm
he p
st n miss
rs,
ftee
be m
T ese thin
boy
ay
ring
tly e
ry a
e of
sa
stil
utdo
r a M for fi
ir, t
ay
, an
yea
was
a tu
4, ju een
this
stan
ount
, sta
he w
ilenc
tm
ear
wo
e, ha
he o
y
h, I
mily
t th
neve
he a
nto
c
n
d
h
200 dn’t b
s
t
i
t
a
i
f
T
t
g
a

a
m
a
o
h
I
t
o
s
.
u
r
h
a
f
e
p
r
c
g
y
l
s
n
r
t
o
e
e
h
i
o
a
T
i
k
b
b
e,
w
ha
din
to
my
dt
, fo
, th
dow
ad s
e ke
out
ks f
ort.
g st
wor
led
chil
clos
ovem out, I
T
this
ded
T
, hea
win
hate
taff
ning
here
ted
.
the
an h
airp
the
ts w
ratt
trac
ayin
ay
nN
deci
mor
the
lags
own
that
ome
poin
ing
el w
ut, I
ns,
rgh
ecre
f st
ain
ain
ess
i
t
wom
h
v
t
d
t
bee Turned
F
o
u
r
s
o
r
n
s
o
d
a
o
u
a
n
t
l
t
.
t
t
o
s
i
b
e
a
t
h
h
o
i
i
n
d
e
n
a
d
,
y
v
s
h
e
o
a
of
itt
the
ove
oun
s.
ess
see
the
ing
or,”
ty,
n. T
to g
, an
ed a
on.
pt t
orar
e th
ersi
ld h bility.
he P
wal
ersi
rizo
he m
, as
impr
rIm
star
ugh
rrat
uns
acks
tati
try
ds I
bov
k to
emp
nt v
. I ke
nta
at t
Univ
the
y ho
sI
in s
n tr
. I la
afte
rien
own
lking
’s t
wn,
bac
nd g
e na
ed a
ff. T
aph
fere
a
a
n
t
f
d
o
v
m
h
i
a
i
g
r
w
a
a
f
i
a
r
s
y
l
i
n
t
t
n
t
o
r
g
n
n
a
.
t
e
,
h
ca cou
t
y
n
i
d
e
I
s
i
m
r
o
d
o
h
t
i
w
a
v
t
g
t
m
ped
da
the
can
ed
, bu
mili
trak
pain
ail.
mon
red
d fr
phot
ly a
, lea
laid
Ariz
Fla
too.
om
ing
ttle
Am
stop
loom
here
n is
e at
o fa
on r
n ol
thly
and
ity
ta
like
ave
How
ern
mme
ugg
For
r fr
s on
t
he li
e
s
t
o


a
m
w
k
a
h
,
h
h
t
.
h
I
C
a
s
a
t
o
.
a
t
o
i
c
s
H
h
.
p
e
l
h
f
g
l
g
t
e
r
h
t
g
i
i
r
n
m
k
e
a
t
m
e
v
,
i
lf
en
al s
sle
, I’
idn
po
too
ns
rs t
ew
dro
lse.”
okin
ethin
t No
br a
othe
den
M he Ste
this
mb
dw
ht
yse
dgm
gw
inte
e to
ostly
piec
he m
o, a
nd u
dm
re e
gar
s. I’
t
som
bed
tan
ut lo
l of
out
ou g
ntow
gm
s he
f ju
agin
of t
ly e
whe
, an
t. M
ing
ht s
abo
uea
he w
da
ny d
rney
isin
little
ng m
t br
s in
t ab
dow
g, a
in a
e
n
t
s
y
a
q
e
g
u
m
a
g
s
t
i
a
e
n
a
n
m
e
t
u
n
y
s
i
i
o
h
s
o
o
g
h
n
p
n
j
i
o
s
t
a
s
n
m
o
i
r
a
m
n
a
g
t
r
h
n
e
m
f
r
la
t
p
om
ide
ht
one
mor
even
al y
rock
own
hrou
iveri
f at
h th
, as
nd b
ove
urna
ks,
e, p
re t
than
eep
cits
a pr
ext
houg
d noT
, sh
tIl
entu
ut t
lege
and
relie
wee
hom
heir
y to
roug
soft
be a
th, a
re a
t eli
ore
tIk
rom
I ha
(a t
he n
s ev
wha
the
ks c
alf
awn
t th
oetr
scri
r co
dea
the
ea
em
on t
men
The
lane
e
T
d
h
c
, bu
g
l
d
u
e
o
r
p
t
d
e
.
d
p
n
e
f
s
e
n
a
n
c
e
d
v
u
ed f
b
.
i
e
r
a
d
e
n
t
r
o
i
n
h
y
a
M
o
h
e
t
t
.A
an
it
els
for
rum
e. B
t, a
na
.
here
for
l go
hts
al—m
d to
crea
knew
iton
impr
e da
hil .
the
t no
seem
two
e be
here
I like
oug
use
and
al ur
eren
time
on a
o re
ve a
nly
ba r
on,
ome
rmin
ext
oy I
time
thes
ean
diff
the
y on
nyw
y th
ess
get
.
vor”
tati
hey’
his
tles
’d c
may
ic. In
ng t
at o
e te
his
em
ab
he n
ver
u
long
i
s
a
b
s
e
a
e
r
h
l
f
h
t
i
r
t
T
e
M
t

g
,
y
r
e
i
t
t
o
I
o
y
h
o
w
e
l
.
n
H
n
r
e
t
I
g
r
d
f
n
.
o
n
h
alike
t
e
.
s
t
s
a
s
d
e
n
n
h
n
n
a
ewh
he w
tow
here
ine
es,
par
t be
here
wok
ace
und
nd t
say
long
e th
a lo
e ov
ng i nes.
“but
d “e
ing
ly a
ge i
m
h
i
n
g
r
e th
T
i
o
r
u
w
s
l
r
n
t
r
,
o
i
n
a
o
r
o
r
n
g
n
.
o
o
s
e
e
s
b
,
o
o
i
a
t
h
e
d
o
o
s
n
r
e
e
s
h
i
,
r
n
m
x
n
m
e
f
a
T esenc
sa
ew
eni
. I’m
adp
ee
for
are
he w
p ru y bo
ed,
, the
nked
fore
the
vel m
ere
repo
and
een
here
I’d b
Pho
som
grew
ther
ing
odd
e. I’v
y he
,” he
ese
pr
rd t
,a
of li
pair
sb
ed u m
hat
it th
ay
t be
ing
iety
I tra
leav
ano
hea
n to
u se
end mble in
n—th
r re
.” I n
vel a
way
taff
ed i
like
heir
tay
ew
rary
t ha
ge t
gh m
anx
ad.
ries
o
i
f
o
n
e
r
o
s
h
t
s
h
o
w
t
I
u
d
e
e
r
o
S
y
e
s
t
d
y
c
g
n
f
o
p
.
u
o
e
h
n
t
v
s
t
r
l

a
l
u
,
u
i
n
n
N
o
r
t
a
e
d
l
o
e
I
b
m
e
r
s
y
n
a
ha
n
A
,f
his
Ca
T
I fe
nu
tion
.F
now
r to
ing
me
k th
nd l
e te
nar
ep m
as.
rain
eme
ad n
see, lt a
er t
into
chur
TR
nfic
hak
be ly
he k
and
groa
ake
neve
exits
ours
g, a
trac
o ke
atio
xcit
it w
he t
to b
”Ih
ght- d fe
bett
HE
is s
the
slow
to t
ith t
a nMo
e Gr
wh
grTew
thin
. I’d
.
can
e st
ain
ay
he e
gh t
re t
ing
vor?
and
h
o si n as I’
,
e
e
T
r
r
d
w
t
e
d
p
u
e
t
o
m
t
t
f
a
i
s
t
a
g
at’s
o
g

h
n
,
o
u
s
o
g
e
h
r
t
e
y
w
n
a
e
u
o
r
m
ride
e
n
s
y
i
S
e
f
l
i
t
d
e
t
a
ly
r
gro
uild
nd
ling
unc ht, eve
unte
anc
the
y on
nt e
hs f
ever
ght,
rain
ity
o se
AY
me.
was
pe o
sm
ess
ome
tua
e en
car
r
e
o
e
b
l
e
n
t
t
u
g
k
o
r
c
y
e
t
n
d
h
c
m
r
t
o
d
W
o
h
c
i
a
,
u
n
e
f
t
o
I
e
e
n
t
h
i
n
i
a
h
e
n
g
L
n

t
h
h
f
v
a
x
i
i
t
n. A
e
f
l
p
m
b
e
t
n
A
oir
vis
ent
dif
pro
st e
he
,It
e, a
and
nt a he n
g. E
, wi
ree.
te d
oth
he w
as
for
I’ve
I lov
ttle
way
wo
E’S
ffer
as
the
mem
deg
I mo
ace
ain
e to
here
exci
ysid
gs.
now
ngin
se,
shu
ut t
y au gh t
ven
or b
uch
sno
the
a di
his
T
ea
I’m
air,
a pl
had
cha
one
say
plac
abo
red
HER
ount
my
cour
d do
ide—
ce f
ith s
the
th m ly throu
ile, e
wm
e
m
g
t
g
i
e
l
d
m
t
e
S
d
n
s

e
t
a
o
T
n
t
u
b
f
h
w
a
n
t
h
A
n
t
n
i
r
n
e
h
i
w
a
p
o
t
o
e
c
a
f
t
,
u
e
.
u
h
a
e
h
B
a
s
h
e
o
t
m
e
o
o
h
l,
n
.
ND
eam
led
t’s
se,
and
ffer
ame lent
taff
ing
ing
aliz
ide
at t
It b
ion
finis
at m
poin
unti
hil i
?If
g im
nize
’s w
al . I
, str
indi
arve
a. “A
. I c d si
lags
excu
add
, giv
ing
e re
nce
like.
husb
on,
ttin
ruct
ing
. Wh
cog
dy s
he c
fter
are
,Im
the
e of
look
iving t passe
room
opp
e si
my
pen
e so
ing,
nati
stop
fere
s, t
sha
th F
na
t re
sa
onst
g
i
i
es m
t
d
n

,
g
t
f
p
r
e
n
m
b
s
t
k
i
c
s
t
e
o
n
i
e
g
e

n
e
s

w
i
w
a
s
a
z
r
d
u
t
a
i
o
k
h
u
n
s
a
t
e
s
,
f
h
e
e
e
e
a
a
m
e
cit
Id
ld
me
hou
love
issi
yn
han d, jus
gs
sea
ny
on t
nd c
keep
ount
resq
es o
vorit
t th
een
umb
s th
h. It
and
fina
nnel
thin
rs,
ga
oor
t at
em
ictu
iftee
s in
oy’s
of m
sb
nd m
ar T isse
il sl
leas
nois
y fa
sics
hat’
muc
yea
a tu
righ
. Th
ditin
or f
outd
er a
ntry
At
r, a
is b
nd p
nce
the
t ne een m
hese
y st
em
I wa
phy
tw
way
f
f
l
v
e
o
l
o
.
u
h
i
t
s
e
a
g
f
a
u
e
l
,
e
b
t
t
r
o
i
a
d
e
u
y
n
w
h
y
h
y
a
j
m
t
n
i
n
b
l
c
h
a
s
n
t
i
t
y
t
f
g
a
t

a
wa
tar
or
kI
has
04, n’t b
ad,
may
by
the
y fa
ing
lovel
n he
wo
lags
M
o st
t th
keep
he la
was
thou
stan
id, s
ks f
The
wor
led
me,
hat
ead
ergr
r 20 had
ted
I ca
eF
indo
sa
we
his
ed t
con
re m
n g,
d ou
ith t
the
n, h
ratt
stiMl .
trac
und
d sa
I ha
na.
e.
ere’
ew
mbe out, I
ets
se,
orni
at t
. I lik
, for
rt. T
inte
ecid
whe
ew
,
h
a
h
r
g
e
w
f
o
n
h
n
v
o
g
f
m
o
s
l
d
l
m
t
i
t
v
i
t
h
c
o
n
t
o
l
f
o
o
p
n
p
i
c
e
l
o
u
e
,
i
a
a
t
s. , Arizo
h
r
v
t
d
d
t
a
a
n
o
k
r
y
n
tr
T
ai
ou
et
n N ne
gst
sion
and
f its
n in
e, lo
Tha
nd s
gw
stay
e ho
tead
des
.
ved
he t
oma
ssa
y, a
the
bee . Tur
to g
urgh
ring
taff
I se
on.
ion.
al s
ks o
hed
o th
s, a
. Fla
pres
fal e
l ins
ve t
agin
I mo
aw
is e
this
as
rsit
n of
lags
have ability
ittsb
gun
stat
, sta
nw
abo
ck t
nds
horiz
laug
I try
e im
om
trac
ter
om
choo
t th
nive
or,”
ng,
rary
he’d
n
rsio
r
e
h
P
f
i
a
r
I
d
w
t
i
d
n
p
o
s
l
d
e
U
t
y
f
s
i
k
n
f
.
.
a
r
h
o
e
l
w
b
a
v
n
p
e
t
e
u
k
a
a
e
f
c
p
d
o
v
r
m
h
a
o
n
g
r
t
m
u
n
ts
I li
in
my
dow
ona
ent
slee
in, a
nar
the T
liar
my
ocks
nths
at t
avin
awn
ed t
dua
ph. I
It w ccou
he t
elici
frie
s te
wm
ffer
old
laid
Ariz
rail.
too.
med
ami
the
ing
e bl
opp
er ed
gra
ain
is t
d pa
Gra
y, le
rom
old
tel . g a
r mo
t it’
at d T
ent
e ho
a di
thre
e st
so f
t loo
othl
n’t mberin
me
wn
can
have
, an
hern
p on
hugg
hoto
vem
le tr
. Fo
, bu
City
amm
s on
T ith an
ilar.
ar f
o
a
y
t
o
a
t
u
ld m
p
s
l
o
H
h
e
p
e
l
f
l
g
e
r
h
t
t
i
r
r
c
m
o
m
k
e
r
i
n
w
m
e
v
,
i
t
l
n
o


.
e
6. 6,
t
g
e
i
p
a
o
e
e
s
o
I
I
o
l
o
a
w
n
n
is
r
e
to
im
n
e
St
br
oth
kh
at
the
is s
dw
else
t’s
at N
me. il -slu
tly,
meth
ters
to s
day
tchi
t. “H
t th
ard
he d
piec
bed
T n the
only
bac
l of
ntow
the
elf i
ere
do,
nd m
win
stan
me
king
urgh
p on
Mos
bou
ster
e sa y st
men
ag
g so
as
f ca
little
dow
in a
the
s, a
. I’m
ywh
mys
qu e a
that
t loo
anTy
g of
st a
ight
ttsb
eein
mo
ns i
ang
ng,
y th ce to m
ent.
ted
h ye
judg
nd u
i
n
s
y
l
s
i
i
h
s
u
o
T
g
n
i
s
a
s
g
c
n
e
a
t
s
m
o
y
a
m
n
a
P
g
o
f
h
n
c
e
e
e
m
n
n
r
d
a
i
e
r
t
e
b
i
u
l
t
a
o
y
h
y
r
b
s
d
o
r
a sen
ckin
n
t
n
n
lu
i
o
l
n
a
l
p
s
t
e
n
,
in
a
d
e
r
o
i
a
x
d
u
r
a
v
r
o
m
s
a
v
a
,
s
e
r
e
i
t
u
o
I
h
i
f
o
h
h
,
t
n
o
u
y
m
k
l
u
e
r
u
r
t
t
o
a
h
t
e
n
i
e
s
g
a
p
t
o
j
r
t
a
I
a
s
r
T
e.
pro
ut
om
reli
nex
he
wee
hom
so f
ad
vent
th, a
n, s
ore
n. O y ab
inMg
ibe
wn
ry t
ol eg
hrou
o st
even
ere
hat
st a
mak
the
ks c
ir, t
a pr
dea
the
keep
row
The
nd e
dIh
half
les
daw
erso in m
ut t
escr
or c
re m
poet
ce t
tw
de a
eir o
. Th
d. Ju
can
trac
nar
repa
and
ut I
ore
re f
choi
umb
. An
to d
nt p expla
ra
ne a
ne c
eate
s on
ew.
and
—ma
it he
else
. Bu
n th
.
,
from
late
l
f
b
s
e
e
r
r
e
t
o
e
r
o
l
e
t
a
n
o
m
i
e
l
h
h
y
g
h
e
f
a
h
a
d
,
r
c
t
e
e
o
k
r
n
i
d
e
h
t
t
d
p
k
c
e
r
e
n
e
d
b
n
g
s
e
o
u
r
i
e
e
i
e
I
e
i
w
s
s
Il
et
an
un
er
air
ba
it. M
diff w t
gon
art
ion,
time
uild
to r
T boy
whe
day T
one
thou
s es
In t
e al
com
erm
next
r” u
ay
diff
his
tles
get
a
uess
d st
ing
stat
any
roan
s a ut ho
by
op. M
e’d
ric.
n an
f th
he t
ese
this
ime.
the
es b
e al
e ha
My
eavo
it m
here
whis
how
the
et o
ken
into .
tIg
rt o
r th
rksh
wn
ver
ey’v
, tr y
han
g. H
in ly
ys.
ed t
It ha
I wa ring o
an g
tsid
as
nois
ng t
end
w
o
g
e
o
u
e
t
h
o
o

a
c
s
.
n
c
u
g
d
a
o
,
g
v
e
l
h
e
t
e
h
e
p
o
b
y
l
o
w
a
f
n
n
w
s
l
T
e
e

e
n

d
,
i
l
t
g
h
m
g
i
I
n
f
r
u
T
i
s
r
u
s
l
r
n
t
a
o
n
.
o
e
ot
or
to
so
een
dea
unn one
de
long
ea
aro
ring
e, s
ere
’m i
aid,
r so
emb
ere.
gsta fig
d ph
than
nce
em
uildi
port
ew
ewh
d, n
I like
ht it
here
linke
I’d b
up r y b
er. I
er’s
I’ve
efor
e ar
hea
, wh
g fo
mme
Fla , and
he s
rew
til h
ore
ab
or a
ther
dde
rese
a re
d th
som
ay
roug
it b
roth
my
avin
ded ble in m
noth
ay
enix
thes
see.
re s
e ha
ff g
el m
ry,”
ying
l a,
ir p
s of
I no
en f
s in k then)
ear
ay
e it
w
e

o
B
n
v
b
h
l
a
d
e
a
h
e
e
e
k
a
h
a
w
a
a
h

u
i
i
.
t
e
n
.
v
a
w
t
e
l
h
t
e
r
g
b
r
o
f
f
y
o
n
r
,
r
o
4
s
h
t
P
e
s
h
o
w
t
I
e
o
t
y
t
g
0
m
s
I
its
rou
ac
Ah
taf
or
INS
mp
lear
any
e—th
as
felt
neve
me.
touc
on n
, bu rum
ns—
ry,
d. I
ent
Fla
owle
n to
out
it ha
n 20
k th
time ile b
lags
e te
RA
king
l y, f
as.
sI
tsid
ver
hea
eep
and
ona
ficti
trai
tem
-see elt a
its.
into
had
nd C
e kn
dow
ck i
e ab
oF
trac
sha
last m sm
it w
to b
ET
than
his
e be
hour
to k
tati
non
exci
ight s I’d f
the
n ou
ew
?” I
d ne
Gra
ing,
me
d ex
h th
h
s
n

s
r
r
o
i
r
y
g
I
H
s
i
h
t
h
t
g
piec M aff ba
i
n
e
i
a
e
ip t
e
e
o
w
g
t
e
.
n
e
a
a
t
h
g
n
r
r
i
v
a
t
h
o
,
k
e
e
i
T
r
c
r
d
The a war
w
t
d
a
t
a
u
e
f
et
om
go
t
mo
s,
S
le t n
dea
hak
to t
ays
ee a
eno
l y it
ces
o ta
riag
his
of t
stru
ter—
ote
one
roun
t, w
sb
ery
as
s fr
lags
unc , eve
me
rain
AY
ome
car
con
le en
ut t
to s
nd s
up t
-ess
ugh
I wr
y pe
tran
ntua
hat’
he g
coun
mity
rent
tw
d ev
any
ugh
in F
bec
ith t
and e night
the
abo
me
who
sba
e.
op,
ir-in
AL W
nt t
iffe
e. “I
roxi
isit,
h en
I tho
s of
on t
t en
nd t
rm
. Eve
e la
, an
t
w
e
u
h
T
w
o
v
e
s
e
e
t
d
m
e
s
p
v
s
e
o
,
h
e
h
n
g
o
,

r
s
t
r
o
k
o
h
a
h
A
f
I
m
o
e
S
s
d
o
u
k
n
w
e
o
n
e
g

e
t
i
h
i
t
c
i
.
s
.
e
r
w
b
,
t
y
i
k
m
h
n
g
p
ys
gs
no
se
y a ugh
ion
or
sno
diff
wor
ya
ove
plac
I wr
out
am
e no
s de
nta
d he
ERE
ir, t
han
lace
ne m
ne I
, eve
d to
ttle
had
inat
cour
d do
ce f
ith s
the
hIl
act
g hi
ith m hro
r th
da
mou
t ab
’l sa
tere
TH
ng a
bile
he a
ame
use M imagi
shu
he o
Ap
nd c
spa
of S
dest
muc
hea
e w ilently t
d an
the
is ex
d at
il, of
mat
ff, w
ishin
in t
eren
foun
ami
bec
le I
ND
n
’s t
e, he
n
ga
int.
mmo
my
g
e
m
t
e
f
n
a
i
e
n
l
t
a
t
w
p
I
l
t
o
a
i
s
n
I
n
n
a
f
d
t
i
a
t
r
i
e
A
a
i
i
i
e
o
o
a
I
f
c
a
e
p
u
.
u

t
h
?
s
v
g
c
v
b
e
c
r
d
h
s
d
.
s
nI th
l
i
c
r
I
.
e
c
in
I
g
p
in
g
,s
in
lag
ad
like
hus
ing
. Wh
fa
dy
ion,
a. I
fter
whe
lize
r ea
e ex
the
sitt
the
ok i n
renc
I ma
op,
hat,
ing. ssed
mag
room
opp
my
pen
e so
ing,
sha
rea
ga
inat
ith F
ne o
izon
rs a
en a
ns,
me
s th
iffe
at’s
ed,
e , lo
e st
n’t
sgiv pa
ite t
an i
e of
hap
a st
me
cutt
the
atin
e, “b
new
dest
, Ar
yea
sing
ite o
ve w
hat’
ntai
ber
ou s
citiz
squ
. Th
s
eps
e
he d
ank d, just
I do
n
r
f
s
.Ic
d
l
n
t
s
m
o
u
h
I wr
e
e
t
l
i
Non
y
h
g
m
y
s
f
e
o
n
e
o
n
s
k
a
o
d
r
v
t
e
t
u
k
n
e
a
a
l
m
m
,
i
T
s
s
y
a
n
r
s
n
n
u
s
e

a
m
a
t
nel

i
i
e
a
b
s
d
h
s
o
t
s
t
a
a
f
t
a
s
f
a
n
y
r
f
d
t
c
s
c
r
n
g
f
o
t
e
i
m
i
T
l
d
i
s
e
g
a
o
o
u
s
n
a
i
l
s
u
h
n
n
a
h
d
y
y
i
f
p
s
e
h
t
a
i
t
a
a
y
e
b
t
a
e
r
a
rig
eve
Fl
dit
ntr
h. It
phy
for
o ye
lwa
hese
. At
his
ily s
thes
st n en m
ar,
ff. T
and
on S
ut w
e ou
lenc
,Iw
be m
neve
into
ay
muc
k in
ring
Yet
tly e
—cou
sa
I he
tay
of t
ugh
hat
ion
land
fam
ay
e si
an t
r tw
4, ju t be
d, b
y th
gsta
vely
des
keep
was
stan
, sta
he w
ding
ow
ork
tm
to s
f so
ut t
e, ha
the
a pl
my
gra
db
stat
d th
s fo
, tho
200 I hadn’
Fla
a lo
n
a
d
d
e
f
a
a
r
o
s
e
i
k
T
e
w
l
m
i
g
d
o
t
h
e
h
e
e
n
n
r
a
t
c
e
t
.
t
i
s
a
w
h
i
t
T
e
o
c
r
n
h

d
t
i
l
k
d
e
e
t
r
i
a
a
t
i
a
T
i
s
e
g
a
e
l
w
e,
gs
n,
un
d
Ih
ets
orn
, fo
inte
ecid
g th
emb ut,
ing
n ra
n tr
ve w
ort.
g st
me.
I’ve
e tr
s. I
l wh
ther
the
that
Fla
clos
n ha
out,
s ow
secr
d of
Nov ed o
sittT
taff
d po
at m
nd d
lovin
trai
trai
t th
t ho
in lo
airp
sk,
wal M
hote
ayin
ou t
ion
ay
like
oma
of it
een . Turn
lags
. ’m
. Th
stea
y, a
the
and
the
oved
s.
o ge
l en
d an
ing
ess
rgh
n.
ue a
f st
see,
the
ing
yI
ess
t
s de
n
s
b
w
n
t
i
,
i
r
e
F
i
s
u
o
r
o
g
a
m
h
d
e
I
s
o
i
n
h
k
h
o
s
s
.
p
f
l
i
v
s
e
a
a
t
I
b
a
z
y
i
t
a
r
t
w
i
c
v
n
g
n
o
o
y
y
t
s
s
a
wal
a
h
e
r

im
t
o
a
I’m
I tr
tr a
he’d
n, s
rom
Pitt
fter
ing,
ack
rom
e tr
I lau
wn
tor,
iend
d gu
n st
pt t
at’s
orar
scho
ld h untabili
d ab
ersi
Univ
the
y ho
f
s
i
k
n
h
f
.
.
a
r
h
o
e
l
w
h
b
a
v
n
p
e
e
u
t
k
a
a
e
f
c
t
p
d
o
v
r
m
h
a
o
g
w
a
s
a
i
s
r
t
m
t
s
e
y
l
r
u
n
I
t
t
n
t
o
r
n
s
k
n
i
t
e
e
e
n
y
na
th
my
at
avi
ybe
ilia
dua
ph.
It w cco
he
elic
frie
ain,
onth
eren
rizo
wm
id d
o. I
’s t
d sl
ped
daw
ed i
bloc
ed m
lwa
the
ing
Ma
is t
Gra
old
tel . ng a
fam
diff
ly, le
ent
T
n ol
rain
ogra
e ho
nd p
or m
y to
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window, passed by hours
landscapes ago… I am sc
we are losing bodies in o
’m sitting at a desk in Flagstaff, Arizona. I can hear the noises of construction outside—the way a building can groan
under repair, the sounds that only improvement elicits
from aging walls. I like Flagstaff. The mountains, the chill
in the air, the proximity to the Grand Canyon—these are
all part of the allure. But what I love most about this town
is the train station.

my aunt and uncle to sight-see, but ended up running
a bed too far from my own, staring
of
m m wout the window
w
w this
into a boy I knew. The next morning, aswhe drovem me at
boy’s
house,
looking at the mountainmand feeling the sloww
m
w
M dawn back to the hotelmwhere
G my family still slumbered,
w
m m
mchurn m
of anxiety and engine alike.
w
w
I marveled at the snow
on the ground. I’d never
touched
m
m
m A
w
w
w
m
it before,
silly as it may seem. And
I had
the
In this exact
workshop, I wrote a piece
about
my brother’s
w
C
m no idea
m
m
w
m
m
w w
w
winters that loomedw in my horizon. Thatwmorning, wthough,
death.
It hadw started from a prompt about looking at a
w
too. I lived above the train tracks for two years, on the
I was in love with Flagstaff,
with snow, with trains, with m
photograph.
I kept this essay close, constantly editingw
my
Along historic Rt. 66, three blocks from this desk, there’s a
w
m
m
m w m m
M
ves ofcutting,
e
shady side lovely
of Shadyside,
and
every
felt their
the
and
adding and
changing. Eventually it grew
le
s
and picturesque
stop,
giving few
spacehours
for both Ientrancm knowledge
m that the night before meant
w nothing
m (a
m
m
m
w into

e
e
h
n
t
o
t
s
n
o
y
v
s
es and
exits. Flagstaff
around eventually
the station, thesang
tracks me m
w thought
m
mthat brought me a warm smile back then), and
m
m m and boys,
a
Along historic Rt. 66, three blocks from this desk, there’s a
presence. The
whistles
andgrew
rumbles
aaseries
of linked essays. My thoughts onmdeath,
k
e
r
a
h
m
e
h
s
ik
a
L
cut
through
downtown
smoothly,
leaving
the
impression
m
m
w
.
t
d
c
o
lovely and picturesque stop, giving space for both entrancto sleep. For months after I moved out, I hated the silence
figuring out how to explain my absence to
mothers,
lle still-slumg g and
comy
longe andwpain, and guns,wand secretsw we keep—
that this was never a final destination, until, of course, for
m
Am
everythin le lakecountry
hemleft, been
. Yes, I and
es and exits. Flagstaff grew around the station, the tracks
of my new room,
bering accountability. Turned out, Ithadn’t
letmissed,
d
many onestreaming
day it was. a different type of train track
B
m
n
prisoncitizenwa like. It became a memoir-in-essays,
a
b
r
a
,
fo
s
t
m
b
l
cut through downtown smoothly, leaving the impression
through my headphones, trying to recreate the soft rockjust passed silently
through
shir as I’dan felt
m
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r
n
.
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s
e
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ic
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h
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My server at Amtrak.
lunch yesterday told me how much he’d fallen
M
mt
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that this was never a final destination, until, of course, for
ing of the midnight
rumble in my bones.
of its
pped in
eyond
e from weeks, this little piece will have laid downw tracks
ke hard
in love with the land. At least that’s the excuse, he’ll say
A
mm
many one day it was.
But I’m
y. I ma pathize, I go b canm dro nnuwi. Fmor relewas ssion. own, mheading intoNa tunnel I don’t recognize.
s
a
e
as he laughs from the belly, for staying here so long. He’d
w
s
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m trip tto’s hFlagstaff.
it wrote
I like the noises
buildings
can
Brought
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fowr e it toubworkshop.
ow I
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for college,
as make.
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m
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iznarrowing
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w
w
m
w
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My server at lunch yesterday told me how much he’d fallen
the
iris
“How
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lf
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, said,
ishing his degree.
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m
w backm
ayhesas
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in love with the land. At least that’s the excuse, he’ll say
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escalated.
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is usaid,
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ology I had—never
e anJust
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ot mwm win 2004 are
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t
o
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t
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g
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word
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hu another. I’m in town this time for a
ishing his degree. “It was going to be temporary,” he said,
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th
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yself feeling the
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noting how his baritone cut throughWthe
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o
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r sground.
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w
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ard my brother’s
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e silly
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k
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e
t least
T
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e
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m
m
w
w
w
m
fe
t
t
y
n
ex
f
i
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w
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t
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e
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t
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r
I get it. My choice to stay in Pittsburgh is similar.
Graduate
winters
that
loomed
in
my
horizon.
That
morning,
though,
death.
It
had
started
from
a
prompt
about
looking
at
a
Yet
even
as
I
write
that,
I can imagine my husband shaking
o
by
all
enttype of train
peo
my new room, streaming a different
wot too
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yfrien health
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s
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Flagstaff,
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withentawl
photograph.
essay
editing
his
I travel more than ever these days, but I keep
ex
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e
t
e
e
io
through
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ia
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?
o
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ing
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o
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t
o
h
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h
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Steel
thought
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and
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essays.
still.
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way
physics
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even
as
s
u
t
e
fo
o
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e
.
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ll
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em years, oon
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r
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h
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li
r
t
o
too. I lived above the train tracks for two
the
how
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my
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still-slumand
pain,
and
we
keep—
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t
.
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e planted
Yet even as I writes m
that,
I can imagine
my husband
Arizona.
of construction
talking,
by
ld. Wit
s n the noises
mo m Incan
stop shaking resen Flagstaff,
t go rattled
nd as the
r mstopped
a pthe
nger, sa msmelves foHe
there’hear
logic.these
hat under
to letrain
made
own walls. e A
w h at I’m
w ment, a
rgarden,
ly inTHE
keeaphome,
as I coIu ties
e building
e tgroan
n.Arepair,
y c hmyestbut
h
r
n
l
w
e
oveaever
h
t
a
o
a
t
m
t
lo
i
g
w
le
s
c
n
In this exact workshop, I wrote a piece about my brothhis head. I travel
moreotthan
days,
I
keep
outside—the
way
a
can
the
seating
area.
“AND
THERE’S
ALWAYS
TRAINS.”
d
e
m
il
il
o
e
ly
n
r
h
io
g
ex
t
s
t
e
t
o
n
t
A
H
m
w
w
li
n
v
n
n
e
a
an
U
, e improvement
lear w trythat
ifesHt A WA
ly. U version
e eI mwrite
ht. shaking
pineHss, AaNywnoting
drowmnin cut
leteimagine
manwalls.
o be aws mthe
Yet even
I pcan
O his baritone
ckish qu
er’s death. It had started from a prompt about looking at
promising myself
onlythat,
staying
valuasit’s
ire consthow
e’s no on ut. elicits from aging
p ing only
ts rigof
gehusband
ings AND
y mdusqueal
caomdifferent
joy, hap nodded,
gimmobile,
h on
e thermountains,
tried tthrough
ill keemFlagstaff.
utral. as —I sounds
inmy
ghmore
s
e
I
h
e
w
d
u
m
n
t
o
his physics
head. I ttravel
than sitting
ever
these
days, buttoI keep
mbelievThe
m my wg
ws. As do
N e. m
w
o
.
n
a
g
r
f
a
d
e
h
o
r
a photograph. I kept this essay close, constantly editing
still. The way
keeps
me
even
I
like
the
chill
in
the
air,
the
of
brakes
rail.
e
ie
b
m
r
in
e
ly
e
t
y
am
runmyself it’sUonly
destaying still.ain?
ction of the
firm . I Grand
promising
different
m
l it, in
reapart
ntilmeamsomewhere
hin syst always been tru mme… I
head amfl
and cutting, adding and changing. Eventually it grew into
the carriageThe
is way
shaking
are all
. way
agnext m tproximity
an re-sliofover
gkeeps
cversion
rying.GI bCetosavthe
ed— fee Canyon—these
go the
physics
sitting
even
as
wy fore
m
dtown
ndinits
y endorp his hIaget
n I immobile,
u the
o
n
s
e
m
u
o
a
t
o
h
y
h
M
T
p
d
t
o
n
y
.
r.
id
t
g
a

s
a
a series of linked essays. My thoughts on death, and boys,
hill.
allure.
But
what
I
love
most
about
this
is
the
train
it.
My
choice
to
stay
in
Pittsburgh
Graduate
e
d
n
m
g
fe
carriage is shaking its
over
B ewy ca
m
w
M
w
m
m
at somewhere
Erin
gw. mis similar.
here the nextfrhill.
tly–t w d smomethGin
olds
d
n
h
issipway
h
in
eople I
d
le
e
w
t
,
r
d
t
t
n
e
y
t
ls
,
t
is
ie
o
e
l
e
le
s
s
ic
b
a
m
w
g
fe
g
f
h
n
n
o
and mothers, and pain, and guns, and secrets we keep—
station.
school
instead
of
undergrad,
but
what’s
the
difference?
Ie p
ig
t
u
lo
y
A
n
c
n
in
a
e
.
k
d
M
,
d
s
h
m
,
n
s
3
o
n
T
1
.
a
t
a
r
id
fr
n
.
0
it different
I’ve got a plan theseredays.
I can imagine
And pare
m
m
m A
oncan
0destination.
ily aw
yselfit there
as a k found
there’senough
country and citizen a like. It became a memoir-in-essays,
I’ve got a plan
thesethan
days.
a destination.
tomkeep
me. Imlike
y
llaofplace
mer 2m0 e the way you m. I try
of 20along
kay,it hasasI been
r long,
that’s better O
time.
w hen I w
Cnic th awt
m
m
eafor
nd fa m t
mimagine
bout mtime.hy,A she Alongemhistoric
ewl it. A thanhe anywhere
along
k blocks
isolatwinedwthe
a
Wthere’selp but femore
lithree
up this desk,
dws aCity
ory: Sum Rt.e.466,
. There
umfor
p
in
I
n
t
I
s
a nonfiction novella, a reportage in lyric. In two and half
And that’s better than it has
been
aom
long,
from
else.
are
trains
Steel
S
h
la
ie
,
:
ig
m
p
fr
d
w
w
w
r
r
a
T
ry
a
M
e
d
W
o
t
g
t
.
h
be ter
ch
timw
tin w g tracks
em
Ins for two
l. I c That’s
y it w giving
d, I for both
. Pmushe ontthe
I’m due at theMtrain stationa on
wstoma I lived above
weeks, this little piece will have laid down tracks of its own,
iors domy. ink of a lovely
pooSunday.
couldn’t mof mytoo.
ught it back
h gospace
e fiwrstpicturesque
g or get themtrain
havemyears,
e wastop,
o
senwhere
hand
in
h
h
in
O
t
l
t

h
t
o
o
in
.
t
n
d
r
o
e
t
e
d
a
h
ld
k
r
fo

h
n
e
shuttle
picks
me
up
to
take
me
down
to
Phoenix,
where
w
m
w
m
m
w
m
c
,
u
li
o
t
a
im
s
t
o
I Flagstaff
g of Shadyside,
swgrew around
heading into a tunnel I don’t recognize. But I’m excited
I’m due at the train station
Sunday.
That’s where
ands,exits.
shady
every
hoursadI, felt their ’t w rite
sho few
orrythem station,
nts my m it entrances
I sw on
c h pmi
or do s ouand
parelittle
ing highto
I’ll get on an airplane
and oeventually
end up m
ony the
ww hisper
w
m little m
m
peathe
gwhistles
ot sayinsidemThe
coming coosmoothly,
idnm
own.“S leaving
npresence.
mdown
in
.
d
t
in
h
t
c
l
le
t
a
e
m

e
e
t
in
for the ride.
shuttle picks
me
up
to
take
me
Phoenix,
where
the
tracks
cut
through
downtown
and
rumbles
eventually
h
I
t
a
h
t
s
t
t
h
n
ll
i
g
o
e
ju
a
o
call. Imdme o muc h. Th
train at the Pittsburgh
m
w e for
m juw
w be my favorite
st m smomethin
e airport.enThat
emay
andlittle wing impression
n’t sang
gureafter Iatmovedw out, I. hated
likone
ds t a finals,destination,
say s For months
arend
s
e
fi

,
c
iz
id
e
t
g
k
n
i
d
n
a
c

ld
lo
c
u
I
o
u
I’ll get on an
and
eventually
up
on
the
that
this
was
never
until,
of
to
sleep.
the
silence
y
v
d
oneairplane
of all. It’s the
I most
encounter—the
excitement
m
o
I
e
p
d
c
e
a
e
y
a
o
o
h
I
t
a
er to ut I r
t
I
sh
tofor manysmtuone
kemyatfavorite
pid wbday
all alontype yoffeetrain
leaving for somewhere
seeing
m it“N
m
lings wtrack
if on lyroom,
idea tha ofbemy
o,” he s , that I m TAm
I btheebelirelief
asks, dodifferent,
itementm sea different
None of the people I used to know in Flagstaff back in 2004
train at the ofPittsburgh
airport.
Thatcanmay
was.
streaming
a duck,M e likecourse,
, new
c
y
a
r
e
.B
thome.
’and
e
f
h
t
ex
m
o
t
.”
f
,
m
n
y
o
k
t
ly
y
io
t
a
in
t
something so familiar as I try
to
get
w
A
t
e
h
n
to glide who
W
tidheadphones,
intetrying
are still here. They’ve all gone on their own journeys. I’m
one of all. It’s the one I most
my
to recreate
soft
akes ithrough
d tha B the
owwrockd
f
imitatexcitement
See, b u. m th ter, “I’m swe ys it so quie esn’t think
e
h
n
o
m
.
a
in
me?encounter—the
ff
e
lf
t
s
m
w
e
il
o
a
s
s
s
e
h
y
t
m
s
o
t m yesterday
m
friends
do much he’d t
ssowim
giddofin the Tmidnight
back here, but it’s temporary. Flagstaff, for me, has always
of leaving for
somewhere
and the
at seeHNe sa told
Maybe
that’s why I likedifferent,
much.
It makes
H
A inme
desmerighrealk, hehow
ht oUff my My serverI matulunch
glirelief
omteac h H wapy mand good g. That
to wgewtm
h ofing
he cmrazy MI Amtrak.
at.”land.
t
ig
s
d
h
t
h
r
u
d
s
o?I Stryhe to
t
n
t
r
.
gFlagstaff
e
e
h
ju
s
A
I
e
s
e
u
k
r
a
.
m
h
,
ize how
I love home.
A
mm
e
li
y
T
r
been a stopping point. A place to visit, to see a thing, and
ing something
somuch
familiar
as
get
home.
fallen
in
love
with
the
At
least
that’s
the
excuse,
he’ll
h
t
O
all w
e wa
h overthe noises
n off. omecan
you. I but sthe
s of w lots of the t that’s w ron
e alread here so long. uld wIaslike
mmile. belly,
learn another. I’m in town this time for a poetry tournasayn as he wlaughselpfrom
for
how th ater. Just let it
ith mstaying
not tur buildings
m nt smake.
o
ld
g
w
u
And there’s always the trains.
mh
w rong w
w
in
io
o
r
c
t
ar, tha
t

u
c
elf
n
e
w
I
d
a
w
n
c
inArizona.
ment. Mostly, I’m hugging the friends I see, loving the work
Maybe that’s
Flagstaff
much.
Ithear
makes
Ari- w faction
disappe th feeling.
’m why
sitting Iatlike
a desk
in Flagstaff,
I can
the me sHica l con He’d come here formcollege,
w
thing as many do, atmNorthern
rehead w if my body it e
e
duck so
fo
is
t
y
o
y
a
s
h
s
m
p
s

e and decided
I hear, and missing my husband and dogs. I’ve become
realize hownoises
much I love home. — w
zona
after w Ah,
H
H
A N to stay Ofor fifteen years
m
Wena liescalated.
s outsideadhas
is
on hammering
er. ANDUniversity,
thAerWA
ng wi as Iwdream
esthe
r nm w w roJust
d. Aold
baon
rashcatching
thmat th ay as I got oldfinishing
mple, he these of
ood.was going toN bemtemporary,”
d
r
a
g
m
w his degree.
m w od oup
—sleep.
w
w
t
n
a
h
ex
ls
g
,
more stationary, you see. I’ve embraced the terminal—
“It
e
s
r
u
e
o
fe
o
o
n
lm
g
F
h
o
rebuild
m
w
m e you.
l, ca “but I guess
that I like it here moretilthan
orm
This m m w
oinaw eone coosaid,
ling,
ays t atma desk
g
h
o
e
.
t
t
fe
w
f
l
h
ld
o
a
e
iz
made a home, planted a garden, hammered my own walls.
And there’s always the trains.
’m
sitting
anywhere
else.”
e about ay
g
e
u
s
o
u
I
h
m
ic
n
o
s
l
n
e
h
g
a
m
G
Cgs w —
w
m int
me ru
w
wry th
mr wil b
c
f
m
in
o
in
s
.
k
s
s
s
r
n
h
a
e
t
a
li
n
t
o
aw
a
v
e
io a different
tha rattledywfby
Flagstaff, Arizona. I can hearBthew noises
asmthe
verm time Irawas
o westopped
olast
w emI owas
atherthe outdoor
up int man wMhHe
This yeperson.
te myine IFlagstaff,
let float oo
intell. Itt would
to my fe mofuldconstruction
peopleGtrain
medexactly
mm THE
ky talking,
d. wMwyI m bemaThe
I
s
il
n
u
e
growrepair,
,
e
h
t
s
r
e
p
a
w
c
t
a
g
d
w
o
s
a
o
a
n
r
a
Yet even as I write that, I can imagine my husband shaking
outside—thewway a building can groanwunder
the
seating
area.
“AND
THERE’S
ALWAYS
TRAINS.”
Or
the
same.
can’t
have
been
h
e
d
w
o
r
ie
d
o
t
y
n
t
e
e
gt
r
d
Th m what m
d of
yers a noting
day–Inear ewThanksgiving.
mneed m A
m
with frwith
e feel lik the
That mIfromeaging
’t mattemw u mI came
h tojust
n lingerin om
r baritone
he kinwalls.
n
mthrough
his head. I travel more than ever these days, but I keep
sounds that only improvement elicits
how ahis
cut
squeal
November
atmtende ed 2004,
n
naysanodded,
e
c
e
o
T
e
h
s
t
e
u
s
t
t
t
b
.
e
h
o
ir
u
k
m
t
d
d
o
a
e
a
v
l
m
A
m
w
C
w
m
m
b
h
t
t
a
e
a
i
a
m
o
fr
ic the air,n’tthe
re
my on rail. no w my room
u fe
at h
at y ended upthrunning
litoze,sight-see,
promising myself it’s only a different version of staying still.
I like Flagstaff. The mountains, the schill
ophistin
t c hangwandilluncle
wy do yo w
wasn’aunt
myself,
ter thbut
oes cofa the
ationaThe
tmorning,
of neatlyw wmmy
ld paofrt brakes
h
m
dpart
r
a
y
h
p
u
o
d
o
u
d
m
fr
W
a
d
m
n
e
o
w
.
k
a
f
t
t
n
o

w
s
g
o
r
is
ic
I
n
w
w
w
w
The way physics keeps me sitting immobile, even as the
proximity to the Grand Canyon—these
are
all
into
a
boy
I
knew.
next
as
he
drove
me
at
e
p
oMt
um
esmth the c hair, in I mwill lowok m m Parts of me
to lea initial nouns o
That
leewves it. Mystochoice
it does where
perftown
it’s nfamily
w w this
m
of,hotel
ne m toathstay
n, my
theI sget
lings.train
stilinl doPittsburgh
o
n
carriage is shaking its way somewhere over the next hill.
allure. But what I love most about
isfeethe
is similar.
Graduate
dawn back dto
the
still slumbered,
n
r
u
w
f
n
o
e
e
?
o
y
t
e
k
e
v
u
s
o
k
c
a
e
o
k
a
li
n
s
e
a
r
f
y
y
rw
k
m
w
m
mm
m
mt
m m thetesnow
pur what’s-hthe
thatwth f—love.3 Tha
things ollect ash ma m g gow. school
station.
I marveled
never
angingdifference?
Likmema h instead
ut the I’d
bground.
your but
d of undergrad,
t r tha onwthe
o. EveIn
you got m sat
m
w
m
m
m m touched
a
e
e
t

n
o
t
s
g
u
ll
a
n
r
m
n
e
p
u
h
c
u
lo
in
t
t

p
e
D
,
o
h
I
v
n
t
t
.
o
ft
g it there
g
e as it tmay
he keep me.
I’ve got a plan these days. I can imagine a destination. And
enough
it before,
AndA Idhad
a m no idea twthe
he rb other’s di
dosilly
Yes,a placerisodifferent
gs seem.
every lem found
hrIulike
he le
n tto
t
s
.
i
in
o
t
t
e
h
n
k
,
le
d
.
t
i
ll
s
la
n
a
d
u
n
fe
n
g
e
n
io
,
p
a
h
in
M Rt. 66, three blocks from
m
wthis
m desk,
m than
to w acthough,
enm inm the
that’s better than it has been for a long, long time.
Along historic
areftetrains
my horizon.
erv w That
. City winters that
ts, there’s
mab more
8Steel
g w ww in
hang There
memorning,
ing to a to no
inableAmanywhere else.
smuloomed
19 9on
w
A
Bt m
hing with
ove impwithe. snow,
ermI lived
e
o
silk shirfor
rever fifor
unfatho thtoo.
r
s
t
t
b
u
fo
p
in
n
P
s
o
a
,
l
a lovely and picturesque
stop,
giving
space
both
above
the
train
tracks
two
years,
the
I
was
in
love
with
Flagstaff,
trains,
with
t
e
rt
il
est
o
e
s
b
v
im
t
g
w
m
B
w
ewre
at hand every
ped instation,
inding mbefore
e from shady side of mShadyside,
ntil thin nothingdo (ayour other fo
umeant
y throat that
I’m due at the train station on Sunday. That’s where my
entrances and
I felt theire amgood the
the
droNpthe
onologufew
emnight
o
m
H exits.
m Flagstaff grew
m around
Aor releas
M hours w
H w knowledge
g
R
m
.
l
t
in
b
a
d
le
e
e
n
l
F
.
h
r
d
il
t

i. theAobsession mm
inte rumbles
can smile
floo N megic.aI warm
U
m
w m sang
m
shuttle picks me up to take me down to Phoenix, where
the tracks cut through
downtown smoothly,r leaving
presence. The whistles and
eventually
thatmebrought
opws then), and
twhis wmeed. That thought
resent t at I’m
s how
fo ennu uuntil,
at the
d of
est stback
lo
p
h
h
n
e
t
a
c
e
r
w a final destination,
m
w
k
e
y
t
e
y
v
a
d
b
o
h
th
s
e
I’ll get on an airplane and eventually end up on the little
impression that this was never
to
sleep.
For
months
after
I
moved
out,
I
hated
silence
figuring
out
to
explain
my
absence
to
my
still-slumm
t
c
o
n
d
re
to
til
til
tio
his accountability.
m
w
learned try
h has track
of selfI wawnt type
ard tbering
tewlym. Un out,
uistrain
ight. Umn been
luewemo mcompleTurned
h
train at the Pittsburgh airport. That may be my favorite
course, for Hmany one day it was.
my
different
of
I rhadn’t
missed,
g
. new room,
a
y,
n
v
a
y
s
a
m
ll
t
mof
w
w streamingna
O
A
w
l
a
e
a
l.
g
a
y
e
a
r
I
t
r
t w felt maI will keep
en
o m
AN m to mrecreate
d
thing night,e even
hinwk passed
one of all. It’s the one I most encounter—the excitement
my headphones,
trying
AND H
A WA
H
AN
w
m.soft
I trierockt—hrough through
into nmeuas I’d
not wh through
n silently
y breathe
at y mw uaWllythe
t I tjust
m
u
t
u
h
r
d
s
a
m
le
b
T
li
firm
ju
p
s
il
,
o
r.
s
t

t
e
w
m
w
m
w
w
m
M
m
a
s
e
t
n
p
e
r
a
o
of leaving for somewhere different, and the relief at seeing
My server at lunch yesterday told me how much
ing of the midnight
Amtrak.y
rumble
in my bones.
h
I act e with a gh
o again? d trying. I b
ing. U Then I can
ut the’d
veral
e
g
e
d
v
r.
B
s
a
n
u
ie
h
u
n
o
y,
e
o
p
y
t
e
p
p
ir
w
a
something so familiar as I try to get home.
fallen in love with the land. At least that’s the excuse, he’ll
an
’t
I’m h o make peac to ghosts. W ff, me
Your t
sipatesto. Flagstaff.
here did frienitd Etorinworkshop.
hirty. Th tnoises
they can
le distrip
say as he laughs from the belly, for staying here so long.turned t I like the
wenty. buildings
logic, w Brought
y
gt
eak
ft Iowroteoabout
niggthis
urt canmmake.
p
in
le
d
h
w
s
M
,
n
e
n
s
I
e
r
.
a
t
h
o
n
o
t
n
t
0
i
w
y,
e
e
n
a
r
o
0
h
r
a
w
d
s of judgment.
0 “Howt mcan
to narrowing
t
Maybe that’s why I like Flagstaff so much. It makes me realHe’d come here for college, as many do, at Northern
Met
how
reairis
y p the narereve
Yester Ariday, is t the
ce has the
er of 2 right
Okay,had
p wI hdream
ou me,
o fraugh wesooutside
me– hasI’veescalated.
forgotten picJust
e indif- emory
ize how much I love home.
zona University, and decided to stay for fifteen yearsmafter
at’swoman
said,
“be
are shammering
in abat
e yester e Ah,
king uas
Summstaring
hat plarator,”
la
,
y, shso
t
a
:
p
a
id
s
ry
a
e
h
m
M
e
ld
r
o
s
t
o
f
a
o
c
o
t
m
s
im
o
s
e
d . Wh heard
hap about the
M whole aendeavor?”
finishing his degree. “It was going to be temporary,” he
the
rsnever
ool. I oolI shad
ne els of catching
hirtieup onI?old sleep. this habit , and somet erly. Perferent
io
o
p
t
e
n
e
f
y
m
o
h
o
s
k
in
w
s
,
in
p
s
d
h
s
for the
o
t

h
n
c
r
s
m
t
t
im
s
ie
o
a
a
p
tieselse.”
And there’s always the trains.
said, “but I guess I like it here more than anywhere
word
“endeavor”
used
to
describe
a
one-night
stand
with
s
h
h
fr
w
h
g
t
o
t
s
ig
ren
wh I was in Flagstaff, I was
athat
do it
g hpointed
may different
–oldold friend. I Ilaughedcoand
ion, The alast
p
ean
otime
in
s
r
t
d
e
i
u
S
f
y
m
v
n
m
e
.
a
n
t
m
e
o
ft
le
r
o
c
’m sitting at a desk in Flagstaff, Arizona. I can hear the
He stopped talking, as the train rattled by the outdoor
person.
out
these
things
t
le
t
in
he w
st
ey
and
ngs beenle who’ve
wha
o you
like all here,
a tell. It mwould
careI thought,
hem, th What
k, and jutheshtrains—
g
ny feelihave
d
c
t
n
noises of construction outside—the way a building can
seating area. “AND THERE’S ALWAYS THE TRAINS.” I know w h Or exactly the same.
I acan’t
happen.
mattered
were
p
a
e
in
u
o
v
h
e
d
ry
e
w
p
t
a
t
u
o
I
o
s
b
a
e
e
n
o
to a
k
le near Thanksgiving.I cIallcame
e
th withs. I can’t thedway
you
ck,
be li dawn,
groan under repair, the sounds that only improvement
nodded, noting how his baritone cut through the squeal
Novemberat2004,
asks, d bycone
guy at just
an som I’ds been woken
st
n’t I before
eina
of a dushivering
hy
a
k
o
h
li
h
ly
n
w
T
g
d
y
io
e

!
n
h
t
b
t
h
a
s
ie
th
t
,
a
i
W
is
elicits from aging walls. I like Flagstaff. The mountains, the
of brakes on rail.
my w
aunt and uncle to sight-see, but ended
too
this
p running–some fr a bed
imout the twindow
keep far from mmy
e? own, staring
versup
off. Seetheofff slow
gh, ithouse,
ean? I
u.
tle at ay, tboy’s
hfeeling
ims in dand
u
t
o
o
ig
li
y
andaslohe
w
r
h
chill in the air, the proximity to the Grand Canyon—these
drove
me
looking
at
the
mountain
s
y
a
s
e
e
e
o
h
e
I
h
t
t
eJ an Valj into a boy I knew. The next irmorning,
li
m
g
igh
? S alike.
h.
tendanxiety andgoengine
hauntslumbered,
are all part of the allure. But what I love most about this
I get it. My choice to stay in Pittsburgh is similar. Graduate 1 dawn back to the hotel where
it this w le churn
o preof
ater just t it all wash r
h
r
still still
of m t myas family
w
fe
w
e
.
ll
e
r
n
u
f
h
I
p
la
t
p
,
r
d
p
an on fethe
h
town is the train station.
school instead of undergrad, but what’s the difference? I
I marveled at the
I’d never
ove
h. I touched
gground.
how
ke peo
weditsnow
mucidea
r. Just le
’t startexact workshop,
ut elin And I hadso no
ction
ly flaas
I don’t li atc h. I Indonthis
found a place different enough to keep me. I like it there
it before,
may
Ickwrote
. Bseem.
in watea piece about mysicbrother’s
. the
ttersilly
d
le
o
U
o
b
g
u
al atconane
m
i.
m
d
r
o
n
u
r
d
fr
h
c
y
s
A thatr mloomed
s
h
ow in my
e
e
p
n
y
Along historic Rt. 66, three blocks from this desk, there’s
more than anywhere else. There are trains in the Steel City a m awinters
horizon.
That
morning,
though,
death.
It
had
started
from
a
prompt
about
looking
m
m
m
o
o
is
c
t
r fr
older.
fo with gFlagstaff,
I I wasminuc hlove
that th ayediting
ood tha edwith
a lovely and picturesque stop, giving space for both
too. I lived above the train tracks for two years, on the
snow, with
trains,
tart ovewithd learn. photograph. I kept this essay close,
s I got calm,
htconstantly
s
a
g
o
f
u
o
n
o
o
t
a
.
h
c
g
d
t
w
n
a
in
n
s
iv before meant nothing
a
ool,
entrances and exits. Flagstaff grew around the station,
shady side of Shadyside, and every few hours I felt their Feeli the knowledge
and cutting,
umb andIchanging.
alway gsEventually
ced. Lnight
ccadding
. The k that
ould go itsogrew
nthe
eone cinto
ly build (a
I sulinked
s c hic
simpthen),
me good that
ard. of
elin w on udeath,
to mand
g experie me a warm smile
h
the tracks cut through downtown smoothly, leaving the
presence. The whistles and rumbles eventually sang me
brought
back
and
agseries
essays. Mymthoughts
boys,
fe
in
I
in
t
y
v
r.
p
h
a
donethought
e
ho wear es
h
g
fi
y
n
w
o
a
le
w
I
t
m
d
s
o
n
o
.
e
r
a
r
g
t
o
F
t
b
W
m
impression that this was never a final destination, until, of
to sleep. For months after I moved
out,
I
hated
the
silence
figuring
out
how
to
explain
my
absence
to
my
still-slumand
mothers,
and
pain,
and
guns,
and
secrets
we
keep—
u
.
o
pho o c ed o Ma k Pa
g
uld
dp
do
eh
w
s.
yes
fferinos
subering
at I wo a. Tmemoir-in-essays,
f heighta like. ItThbecame
rd. No nd bacountry
. I say and
kind of ut naysayers an ir
icia Jabb out,
a
d
o
r
d
h
t
e
course, for many one day it was.
of my new room, streaming a different type of train track
accountability.
Turned
Ienhadn’t
been
missed,
citizen
a
d
h
e
P
e
e
v
h
ifi
t
lo
e
t
r
d
a
o
I I’d feltsagood
bo half rt my ha
ter
ate
At night, even as
through my headphones, trying to recreate the soft rockjust passed
aounonfiction
Int two
care aand
oned, a reportage
. The p through
nce.the
e
gh I’m el novella,
10silently
pa
sophisticin lyric.
abandpiece
doesn’tracks
: in20my
he audie her words, I
o impuls liffs even thweeks,
d
fe
ry
t
t
n
o
wouitsld
a
My server at lunch yesterday told me how much he’d
ing of the midnight Amtrak.
rumble
bones.
this
little
will
have
laid
down
of
lf
in
m
e
I
e
e
s
y
t
,
m
m
a
s
M
y
u
m
a
c
e
h
f
b
y
r
e
T
I
t
e
ff
h
.
d
le
d
p
o
.
t
s
e
t
n
g
v
ve heading
fallen in love with the land. At least that’s the excuse, he’ll
recognize.
Pit
n, ainto a utunnel
jump of it all. I’own,
so mo w to put all
ke feelin But I’m
h, I don’t
elatiothe
reads atabout
I a mtrip
say as he laughs from the belly, for staying here so long.
I like the noises buildings can make.
I wrote
to
Flagstaff.
Brought
excited
ride.
ho
g, this
things li
oo m c
’ve felt for
hey it to Tworkshop.
hrill
t
I
in
t
t
t
u

d
.
t
o
a
s
e
h
e
s
y,
h
g
e
r
a
le
r
u
s
h
e
u
g of judgment.
I “Howritcan
th narrowing
He’d come here for college, as many do, at Northern AriMeto f the
e the nar-ed, wort ing that I fo something
g to fiiris
oems,” right
ow of the
p, tryin had
“youatw me, “bedepsoressindiffor
zona University, and decided to stay for fifteen years after
Ah, the hammering outside has escalated. Just as I dream
rator,”
people
I used to know in Flagstaff back
Your pstaring
knNone
t
“said,
s
e
g
2
ig
neaak uwoman
.
s
b
s
settledstill
d
can die ind2004
w heard
honever
wor wholeI sendeavor?”
. Ithe
e my knIowhad
finishing his degree. “It was going to be temporary,” he
of catching up on old sleep.
ferent about
the
here. They’ve all gone on their own
never are
e
il
s
o
v
t
li
m
n
in
a
a
s
,
e
h
e
eli
nd
said, “but I guess I like it here more than anywhere else.”
word fe“endeavor”
too muc journeys. I’m back here, but it’s temporary. Flagstaff, for
hope sh a yone-night
rds standave with
ant!” Ausediletoanddescribe
moutwothate thesegthings
He stopped talking, as the train rattled by the outdoor
The last time I was in Flagstaff, I was a different person.
an old wfriend.
and pointed
me, has always been a stopping point. A place to visit, to
ere brilli I laughed
m
le
s
b
a

p
!
a
incI thought,
etry
e m the trains— see a thing, and learn another. I’m in town this time for a
pomattered
id
w
seating area. “AND THERE’S ALWAYS THE TRAINS.” I
Or exactly the same. I can’t tell. It would have been
happen. What
here,
were
s
o
t
h
in
n
a
,
g
li
t
i
il
in
br
ppen dawn, shivering in
about by hone
nodded, noting how his baritone cut through the squeal
November 2004, just near Thanksgiving. I came with
the way I’d been
poetry tournament. Mostly, I’m hugging the friends I see,
ing habefore
I feelwoken

NHIA VISITING WRITERS
SERIES PRESENTS

of brakes on
’m rail.
sitting at a desk in Flagstaff, Arizona. I can hear the nois-

es of construction outside—the way a building can groan
repair,
the sounds
that only improvement
I get it. My under
choice
to stay
in Pittsburgh
is similar.elicits
Graduate
from aging walls. I like Flagstaff. The mountains, the chill
school instead
of undergrad, but what’s the difference? I
in the air, the proximity to the Grand Canyon—these are
found a place
different
enough
keep
liketown
it there
all part
of the allure.
But whatto
I love
mostme.
aboutI this
m
is the train station.
more than anywhere
else. There are trains in the Steel City

z
e
r
i
m
a
R
a
n
a
i
r
Ad

Wednesday, October 19th
Workshops: 3 pm and 4 pm

Poetry Slam: 7
 pm featuring Jared Carlson and two
Slam Free or Die poets as openers

gr
aff

ew

nd
arou

ing
stay
, for

here

so l

on

ere
it th
like
em . I
keep

et
mor

Adr ana Ram rez s an award-w nn ng s am poet and cr t c whose
nte ectua nterests nc ude v o ence, Lat n Amer ca, b ack markets,
the R o Grande Va ey, code-sw tch ng, d g ta terature, rem x
cu ture, v deo games, confess ona poetry, and test mon a . Check
out her TEDX ta k on YouTube.

Free & Open to All

French Building Rotunda, 148 Concord Street, Manchester NH
sincere ulating everyt
rtic
are of a


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