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This Book is Full of Spiders David Wong .pdf


Original filename: This Book is Full of Spiders - David Wong.pdf
Title: This Book is Full of Spiders
Author: David Wong

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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Warning
Prologue
48 Hours Prior to Outbreak
36 Hours Prior to Outbreak
30 Hours Prior to Outbreak
29 Hours Prior to Outbreak
27 Hours Prior to Outbreak
25 Hours Prior to Outbreak
18 Hours Prior to Outbreak
17 Hours Prior to the Outbreak
12 Hours Prior to Outbreak
11 Hours, 45 Minutes Prior to Outbreak
6 Hours Prior to Outbreak
5 Hours Prior to Outbreak
2 Hours Prior to Outbreak
100 Minutes Prior to Outbreak
90 Minutes Prior to Outbreak
10 Minutes Prior to Outbreak
Outbreak
Exodus
Leviticus
30 Minutes Earlier …
Revelation
The Maps and Shit
Book II
8 Days, 12 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum

8 Days, 1 Hour Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
7 Days, 13 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
6 Days, 18 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
6 Days, 6 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
From the Journal of Amy Sullivan
18 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
14 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
13 Hours, 30 Minutes Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
12 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
45 Minutes Earlier …
8 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
7 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
6 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
Molly
4 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
3 Hours, 45 Minutes Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
3 Hours, 30 Minutes Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
3 Hours, 15 Minutes Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
3 Hours Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
2 Hours, 45 Minutes Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
Soy Sauce
125 Minutes Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
120 Minutes Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
105 Minutes Until the Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
Two Hours Earlier …
The Massacre at Ffirth Asylum
A Trial by the Fire
Mop-Up
Book III
12 Hours Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
11 Hours, 45 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
11 Hours, 40 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
3 Hours, 10 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
3 Hours Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
2 Hours, 45 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed

2 Hours, 40 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
2 Hours, 35 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
2 Hours, 30 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
2 Hours, 25 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
2 Hours, 20 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
2 Hours, 15 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
2 Hours, 14 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
2 Hours, 10 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
2 Hours, 5 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
Eight Hours Earlier …
2 Hours Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
105 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
90 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
70 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
1 Hour Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
50 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
45 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
40 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
37 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
30 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
27 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
19 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
16 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
12 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
9 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
8 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
7 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
5 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
30 Seconds Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
10 Seconds Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed
The Soy Sauce, Redux
The Bible II
Sacrifice
Eulogy
Epilogue

Acknowledgments
Also by David Wong
About the Author
Copyright

For Carley, who was a better person than I am even though she was a dog

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING ACCOUNT CONTAINS FRANK DESCRIPTIONS OF
MONSTERS AND MALE NUDITY.

PROLOGUE
You know how sometimes when you’re drifting off to sleep you feel that jolt, like you were falling
and caught yourself at the last second? It’s nothing to be concerned about, it’s usually just the
parasite adjusting its grip.
I guess I should explain that a little further, but it will take a while. And you have to promise not
to get mad. My name is David Wong, by the way. It’s on the cover. If you don’t know who I am,
that’s perfect. That means you didn’t read the previous book in this saga which, to be frank,
doesn’t paint me in the best light. No, don’t go read it now. It’s better if we get a fresh start. So,
hello, stranger! I’m pleased to have this fresh opportunity to try to convince you I’m not a shithead.
Just skip the next paragraph.
* * *
If you do know who I am, presumably because you read the previous book, I know what you’re
thinking and in response I can only say, “No, fuck you.” Stop sending me hate mail. Please note that
all correspondence regarding the class action lawsuit resulting from the publication of that book
should be directed to the publisher’s legal department, not me. Go find the address yourself, you
bunch of greedy fartsouls.
* * *
Now, on with our tale. Note: I apologize for the harsh language above, you’ll find that is not typical
of me.

EPIPROLOGUE
So here’s how fucked up this town is. My friend John and I were out celebrating his birthday last
summer. At the end of the night we were good and drunk and we headed outside of town to go
climb up the water tower and piss off of it. This had been John’s tradition for the last twenty years
(if you do the math, you’ll realize that goes back to when he turned five, which really says more
about John’s parents than John). This was a special year because they were in the process of
tearing down that old water tower to build a new, more modern one and it didn’t look like the new
one was going to have the kind of platform that you could piss off of, because this is no longer a
world of men.
Anyway, it’s two in the morning and we’re taking turns pissing off of the tower (rather than
going at the same time, because we weren’t raised by wolves). So it’s my turn and I’m right at that


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