Vermont Snowfest Brofest 2017 .pdf
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March 10-11 weekend
She was warned.
F E AT U R I N G A U N I Q U E LY V E R M O N T S AT U R DAY N I G H T DA N C E PA RT Y
THE FINE PRINT
It’s like a really fun time and stuff. This is the 10th year we’ve done this. It started small
(20 friends) and then it just kept growing and now it’s a 100+ person mess in the mountains.
But first, my disclaimer: This is not me ‘running and organizing an event’. This is just me
inviting everyone and anyone to come check out my adopted hometown of Montgomery Vermont
for a weekend for skiing, outdoorsy shit or just hanging out in the cozy lodges. There is no money
exchanged, no official events, no wristbands, handstamps, or registration. It’s not an official
anything… it’s very informal. It’s a choose-your-own-adventure kind of weekend.
I’m only inviting people over 21, and expect you would do the same – but again, what you do is
your business, not mine. This is just a general invite to come enjoy Montgomery and Jay Peak for
the weekend. You are your own responsibility, not mine – there’s just so much that could go
wrong and I barely even know you. Winter is coming. The night is dark and full of townies.
About the weekend: You probably already know
what this weekend is: a guerilla gay bombing of a
small village in the middle of nowhere Vermont. So
now I’ll try to explain why this weekend is.
It’s to get away from gay city people by infesting
a small, rural town with gay city people. It’s fun
because Montgomery isn’t a gay destination, we just
make it one for a few days.
So you get to step out of your life and into a whole
new world for one weekend. But, you’re surrounded
by gays. It’s as comforting to you as it is horrifying to
the town. The weekend is weird and a bit crazy. It’s
not for everyone – it’s not luxurious, but it is really,
It’s basically a weekend of life as performance art,
where the whole small town is the set, and you are a
character. You can shed your city clothes and your
city attitude and just let loose. Try not being a cunt to
everybody for a change, you might like it!
Some people ski and spend the weekend at Jay Peak,
others don’t see the mountain at all and stay in town –
bring friends and be ready to make lots of new ones.
The purpose of this guide is to help you determine
if this weekend is for you. It might not be, and that’s
ok. But if it is, you’re going to have a weekend you
MONTGOMERY HAS NO POLICE DEPARTMENT AND ITS UNOFFICIAL MOTTO IS
“THERE AIN’T NO GOVERNMENT LIKE NO GOVERNMENT” YEEEEEEE-HAW!!!
Many people get in on Thursday, since Friday is a great day
to ski (the mountain is less crowded). If you’re in town on
Thursday, meet up at the Inn for drinks until about 10 and
then the Snowshoe (bar) for the rest of the night. There
may be a late night trek to an undisclosed outdoor
location, weather permitting!
Most people arrive on Friday –try to get
out of work a bit early! People check-in,
gather, pre-party at their inns/lodges.
This is where you will meet the guy that
you will decide is going to be your
Grampa Grunts! This is where the guy
that you decided will be your weekend
crush will teach you a valuable life lesson
about resource scarcity as he sucks face
with somebody who is not you. But don’t
worry, that’s why you already figured out
your plans B, C, and D – and alcohol will
figure the rest out for you.
SKI! Jay Peak gets the most snow of any mountain on the east coast and is legendary for its
‘open mountain skiing’ policy. But most people don’t ski, so don’t sweat it if you don’t.
There’s still lots to do in town, like hike, snowshoe, booze, 420. You could just hang out, meet
new friends and enemies, and sleep with both. There are SO many ways you could get hurt!
Jay Peak also has New England’s largest indoor waterpark. And on Saturday night, the
whole damn waterpark is turning gaaaay. There’s outdoor and indoor hot tub
complexes, pools, slides/activities and a fully stocked bar with bartenders who know
how to pour a strong drink. There are SO many ways you could get hurt!
Cost: $40 at the door, starts at 7 (to be confirmed as date approaches)
SATURDAY NIGHT – THE PARTY
The big party is Sat. night. I can’t tell you where it will be held, but it’s walking
distance from everything, there’s room in the facility to change (so you don’t have
to walk through the snow in your outfit, you can bring jackets, etc.). The party is
BYOB and will go pretty much all night. Turn the page for aesthetic direction.
SKI! Jay Peak gets the most snow of any mountain on the whole
east coast. It’s legendary for its ‘open mountain skiing’ meaning
you can ski into the woods, anywhere and find your own trail –
not just designated glades. There are SO many ways you could
get hurt! But most people don’t ski at all! There’s still so much
to do in town, like hike, booze, hang out, meet friends, make
enemies, and sleep with both.