SYBARITIC SAINT Excerpt Zero .pdf

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SYBARITIC
SAINT

C.D.B.

Every word that dropped from her lips drew me further into
honeyed stupor. The sun glinting off her eyes showed a hue so
true that the Technicolor mess around me became nothing more than
desperate.
Before I could comprehend if she’d put a spell on me or I’d
been listening to too much Little Milton, a pin was being pressed
through the soft skin of my fingertip, blood welling over the
entry. I barely felt that stab, or the pin’s re-emergence under
my nail. I barely felt anything, because her skin was touching
mine, and by god- reality became electrified, sparks of sensation
consuming me by presence alone.
I didn’t think anything of her request. She ran her tongue
over my fingertip and left a thin sheen over the pin’s silverplated edge. A vibrant pink that seemed to absorb all light, like
Pepto-Bismol stirred with ichor.
Our lips met for the first and last time, the motion of my
tongue seeming clumsy and juvenile next to her frenzied dance.
When she broke away, I had to reach for breath, and for sense. A
painful longing, greater than any child’s exile from the womb,
filled my soul.
Tapping my ass like a jockey sending off a horse, she
vanished back into the crowd. My feet moved before my will, body
driven by electrical impulses originating from my brain, but
foreign thought. Morality demanded my first kill be timid- a
graze across the back of a man’s hand, hardly noticed. I walked
twelve paces- counted exactly- before the effect stunned him,
wracking his body to the surprise of bystanders.

Was that enough? I turned, searching the sea of banality for
her face. There was no trace of her save for a lingering scent of
wild flora, and even that threatened to be swept away with the
stench of garbage, exhaust, and piss. She had abandoned me.
The expression of my devastation came first with craving. I
tucked a lock of hair behind someone’s ear, feeling my eyes wide
and brimming. An ache had hold of my bones, for what was lost and
could never be again, clutching at my heart. The pain that never
goes away, only deadens the nerves around.
Could never be. The lock of hair felt bleached and false at
my touch, disgust rising in my gorge. The fried curl of blonde
crackled, seemed to bleed oil like a creature burnt and
blistering. I saw the tuck through, needle catching on skin and
wiggling within the cavity it had carved in my own. As she
reached to her head in surprise and pain, I was already drifting
further away, deeper into delicious delirium.
I chose a man next, hoping the continuous variety might sate
me. Bored before the drop of blood fell from his jaw to the flat
white of his collar, I began to feel a burning in my heart.
Enraged, I struck at random, feeling the barb of my finger catch
again on flesh and fabric, slicing a path through the crowd by a
thousand small strokes. I came upon a cabbie’s outstretched hand,
thumped my finger deep into his palm, then forced my creaky bones
into spinning, plunging a poke into his prospective fare’s eye
before he knew what he was seeing. I’d hoped to impress her with
a show of grandeur, but no matter the mark, no matter the methodshe was gone to me. The rising screams were dim, the crowd’s
flight futile in their panic.

It all began to seem rather tiring and pointless when I
caught a flash of amber. Whirling upon the frozen woman, I saw
the slimmest reflection of my love’s brilliance in her watery
stare. Brushing the male that leapt to her defense aside with a
swipe of my pin, I grasped her homely features with my safe hand
and stared into those wondrous eyes. I thought to smile and found
I was already locked in a euphoric rictus, muscles gripped in a
delight that turned my face numb.
I was still smiling when the police pushed through the panic
and burst my heart with bullets, three cutting the points of a
triangle round that vital organ. I sink into the eternal sleep,
but they say a final moment can last countless seconds. Awaken,
my love- once more ‘fore the end comes.


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