Godly Salinas (PDF)

GODLY
Pilot: 'The Call'

Written By
Anna Salinas

avsalinas6@gmail.com
(941) 928-7131
4633 Melbourne Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90027

TEASER
BLACK
MAN’S VOICE
Why are we here? Is there, I
wonder, some greater purpose to our
human lives?
INT. STUDIO - DAY
The voice belongs to Senate Majority Leader MITCH MCCONNELL.
MITCH MCCONNELL
As a Christian, I believe it’s to
serve. And that’s what I do, each
day, serve the fine people of this
great, prosperous nation against
the scourge of Islamist sharia law.
ANDERSON COOPER sits in a chair, opposite Mitch.
ANDERSON COOPER
But Senator McConnell, the question
was about tort reform.
JUMP TO:
INT. LUCY'S APARTMENT - DAY
Lounging on her couch, LUCY GOMEZ (29) watches the interview
on her LAPTOP.
MITCH MCCONNELL
(filtered)
And I’m showing you the big
picture...
Lucy’s breath quickens. The sound of something vibrating.
MITCH MCCONNELL (CONT’D)
(filtered)
You know, tort reform’s a lot like
church.
A moan. She’s masturbating.
LUCY
(to camera)
OK, I know what I’m doing.
(MORE)

2.
LUCY (CONT'D)
But before you judge, everyone
likes weird shit. You too.
She turns up the volume, lies back.
MITCH MCCONNELL
(filtered)
And that reminds me, we have too
many illegal immigrants stealing
jobs away from good Americans.
ANDERSON COOPER
(filtered)
To be clear, we’re still talking
about tort reform.
MITCH MCCONNELL
(filtered)
What I’m tell you, Anderson, is
that I side with America. America
first.
Lucy’s about to come. She closes her eyes-FLASH TO:
INT. BURST OF LIGHT - DAY
CLOSE ON A MAN’S FACE. Dark eyes, wild black hair.
Lucy.

MAN
BACK TO:

INT. LUCY'S APARTMENT - DAY
Lucy snaps her eyes back open. What was that?
BANG. Someone’s pounding on the door.
She pauses Youtube and stashes her VIBRATOR under a sofa
cushion.
More banging.
Coming!

LUCY

3.
INT/EXT. LUCY’S APARTMENT - DAY
CLOSE ON the WELCOME MAT, with ‘FUCK OFF’ in gold letters,
partially blocked by two feet. They belong to-BONNIE HE (27), her eyes soaked with tears. She bangs again.
Lucy opens the door.
You bitch.

BONNIE

LUCY
This is kind of a bad time.
Bonnie throws her purse at Lucy, knocks her in the gut.
It’s surprisingly heavy.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Jesus, what’s in that thing?
My Bible.
Gross.

BONNIE
LUCY

Bonnie barges in.
BONNIE
How? Just tell me how.
LUCY
....Do I get my skin so soft?
BONNIE
Don’t play dumb! You had sex with
Samar.
LUCY
I would never!
BONNIE
He told me.
LUCY
I’ve been your friend since we were
thirteen! How long have you known
this guy?
BONNIE
Eleven months.

4.
LUCY
Exactly. Believe me when I say
this. I would never have sex with
your boyfriend.
CUT TO:
INT. LUCY’S BEDROOM - DAY
Lucy and SAMAR (34) fucking on the desk.
LUCY
(to camera)
OK, fine. I lied. But it just
happened once.
INT. CAR - DAY
Lucy and Samar fucking in the backseat.
LUCY
(to camera)
Twice.
EXT. PLAYGROUND - NIGHT
Lucy and Samar fucking on top of a slide.
LUCY
(to camera)
We get it.
BACK TO:
INT. LUCY’S APARTMENT - DAY
Lucy takes Bonnie’s hands, looks meaningfully into her eyes.
Never.

LUCY

Bonnie sits down on the couch, clearly conflicted.
BONNIE
But I don’t get it. Why would Samar
just make that up?

5.
LUCY
Maybe he’s covering for something
else. Like fucking little boys or
something.
BONNIE
Lucy! I know him. He’s not a
pedophile.
LUCY
Then he’s probably an addict.
BONNIE
I guess it’s possible.
LUCY
Bonnie, sweetheart, I just want the
best for you.
BONNIE
I shouldn’t have accused you like
that. It wasn’t fair.
LUCY
Honestly, it was rude.
BONNIE
I was so angry. I knew he was
hiding something and when he said
it... well, I knew you guys worked
together on that project.
CUT TO:
INT. BOARDROOM - DAY
Lucy and Samar fucking, surrounded by BAGELS.
She eats one.
LUCY
(to camera, mouth full)
Can we not?
BACK TO:
INT. LUCY'S APARTMENT - DAY
LUCY
You can’t just go accusing people
willy nilly. I mean, what would
Jesus think?

6.
BONNIE
I’m so sorry, Lucy. Really.
LUCY
Hey, we all make mistakes.
Bonnie shifts; something’s poking her.
BONNIE
What’s under here?
She removes the vibrator. Notices Mitch on the laptop.
BONNIE (CONT’D)
Were you...?
LUCY
Don’t ask questions you don’t want
the answer to.
END OF TEASER.

7.
ACT ONE
INT. IDM TALENT AGENCY - JOAN’S OFFICE - DAY
On a computer, a video plays:
- Title card: ‘Gator Hunterz’
- ALLIGATOR HUNTER DAD glides across a swamp beside ALLIGATOR
HUNTER MOM and ALLIGATOR HUTNER SON.
ALLIGATOR HUNTER DAD
(filtered, talking head)
I’m raising my son with wholesome
Christian values. And I truly
believe if our lord and savior
lived in Florida, he’d be huntin’
gators.
PAN OUT TO REVEAL JOAN FORD (35), black, trans, the kind of
person who oozes confidence, brushing cocaine into lines.
Garbage.

JOAN

She points a coke-crusted CREDIT CARD at the COMPUTER.
LUCY
I could sell that. I mean, it’s
trash, but I could sell it.
JOAN
Bitch you could sell anything.
Lucy does a line.
JOAN (CONT’D)
Remember that follow-doc I sold to
Fox about naked bakers?
LUCY
Naked Baking.
JOAN
Gift from the Naked Baker himself.
Before he got sued for indecent
exposure.
ALLIGATOR HUNTER DAD
(filtered, talking head)
Best way to kill a gator is gunshot
to the head, but hit it wrong and
you dang got gator guts all on ya!

8.
LUCY
This is the failure of humanity.
Believing that the stupid shit we
do actually has a purpose.
JOAN
Maybe it does.
LUCY
You’re joking.
JOAN
Look all I’m saying is that maybe
there is someone watching down over
our sorry asses. That wouldn’t be
so bad.
LUCY
We sell reality TV. You helped make
the Kardashians. If God’s a thing,
which he’s not, I think he’s pretty
pissed at us.
JOAN
I’m not saying I believe in the
bullshit. I’m just saying, it
wouldn’t be so bad.
Joan flips to the next video.
- TITLE CARD: ‘Crematorz’
- CREMATOR DAD shovels bags into an industrial furnace beside
young CREMATOR DAUGHTER.
CREMATOR DAD
(filtered, talking head)
Ten years ago I gave up my life as
a juggalo to pursue my real
passion. Cremating bodies.
Lucy does another line.
LUCY
You’re why society hasn’t evolved
out of religion.
JOAN
Girl you can chill. I’m still your
boss.
LUCY
You let yourself be deluded because
it feels good.
(MORE)