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Correspondents: u/ZAWGURN & u/BlastingAwsome
Editor u/GrandTheftDox Editor-in-Chief: u/The-Potato-Lord
Allegations of Abuse, Mistreatment in the
Military, Utilitarians, and the Courts.
Weekly Apex - Issue 9
Official Portraits of Eternal Leaders Revealed
This week u/ZAWGURN released official portraits of two of our most honoured eternal
leaders Emperor u/Pun-Master-General (above left) and Queen u/enantiodromia_ (above
right). Both the Emperor and the Queen were delighted with their portraits with
u/enantiodromia_ writing u/ZAWGURN a note saying “Lovely, thank you.” Some Yams were
a bit confused by the concept of our Republic having an Emperor or Queen at all, however,
most Yams accept benevolent guardians.
Allegations of Abuse of Power
In a series of leaked exchanges made available to the Apex the vice president of the Yam
Republic, u/sultanskyman has been accused of abusing his power and bullying lesser
During one fiery exchange between the leader of the Conservative Yams and the the vice
president the vice president said: “if you choose to drag this on and do it your way without
this provision, I will make sure to kill off every Conservative bill in House at the voting phase
since there will be no grounds for my impeachment. There you go. That is an ultimatum.”
Though many took this as a threat and an over-reach of power when we reached out to the
vice president for comment he explained “I was trying to show the man how stupid his
proposition [to not mandate the vice presidents impartiality] was. If it hadn’t been put in I
could very well legally blocked any bills from other parties. I think you'll understand the
stupidity of their claim that I was trying to prove a minority party leader opting for a
method that will let the VP kill off any minority party ideas and the VP opting for the
opposite it should have been the other way around.”
We also reached out to u/spladlesrus the leader of the Conservatives who responded: “the
proposition of his killing of bills was discussed. Some were in favor of a leader of the two
houses being voted in by the representatives but the Technocrats would not have it. They
wanted the power to rest solely with the VP. These nonpartisan clauses should have existed
anyway and his 'threat' showed nothing more than his partisanship in a position of power.”
The Yam Utilitarians Are Here!
As of this week, the Utilitarian party has surpassed the 10 party member requirement to
become an official Yam Republic Political Party. They now have a total of 28 members and
can participate in elections and have their own channel in the Yam Republic discord. See
two of their official posters below.
To find more about this up and coming party I did an interview with their Chief Strategist
Reporter: What do you want to say to the public about your new party?
Frotaxar: We're a small party but we have big dreams. We follow the utilitarian ideology of
maximizing the amount of happiness for the most yams possible. Other parties may seek
power or control but we seek happiness. We measure our success not by economic growth
but by the happiness of the Republic. Of course economic growth is often closely
connected with happiness so we're not against it but we value your happiness more than
all the money in the world. If every member of the Republic could be happy and healthy we
would have achieved our goals. Therefore as one of our campaign slogans reads "Your
happiness is our success."
Reporter: What do you think will come in the future for this party?
Frotaxar: In terms of the upcoming election I believe that our party will win a handful of
seats however we will not be able to achieve a majority yet. Hopefully our innovative
campaigning methods will attract more voters.
Reporter: How do you think your party will grow in the future?
Frotaxar: I believe that if the members of the Yam Republic hear our positive message and
see what we can achieve then they will vote for us in a greater number and our party will
swell but we're happy with whatever makes the Yams of the Republic happiest.
Reporter: Do you have anything else to say before the interview is over?
Frotaxar: We value openness, respect and integrity but above all we want to work together
to build a happier Republic for all Yams. Any Yams who are undecided or interested in our
message should go subscribe to r/YamUtilitarians and look out for some big things coming
in the next 24 hours.
Reporter: Thank you for letting me interview you!
Frotaxar: You're very welcome!
A recent interview has brought to light the mistreatment of the military's heroes. I (Blast)
interviewed one of the mistreated heroes. Here's the transcript:
Blast: What makes you feel that the military has mistreated you?
Anon: I have been a war hero in war, always train as hard as I can, and for doing 1 minor
thing I got cast down from a high ranking
Blast: What was this “minor thing”?
Anon: I was trying to help out a fellow yam, however it was in the wrong channel.
Blast: So you are punished for one mistaken message?
Anon: Yes, and then even though I trained as hard as I could for months, one minor thing I
was framed for put me at rock-bottom.
Blast: Have you noticed this treatment with anyone else?
Blast: So they're singling you out?
Anon: Yes, and I don't believe that's the right treatment for a war hero.
Blast: Thank you for your time today sir.
Anon: You’re welcome.
The Lower Court Is Here!… Almost
The Lower Court of the Yam Republic is soon to come! Well, it will be when a few things are
fixed. The problem is that the Yamstitution says that the Supreme Court will administer,
“cases in which the Republic is a party as defendant or plaintiff.” This makes the Lower
Court unnecessary. To fix this the president has signed House Resolution #2017-003 to
create the first amendment to the constitution getting rid of the word plaintiff.
As the Lower Court is being set up you should learn how the it will work. The Lower Court
will have 5 judges at all times with each judge having a background in law, the judges will
be appointed by the president, and they will be in charge of private cases and cases that
deal with cases that don’t involve the constitution.
A constitutional disaster waiting to happen?
Last week u/AustinXTyler came forward and provided the Apex with some interesting
analysis. He noted that “Article 1 Section 7 of the Constitution says that Articles 1-6 can't be
amended, meaning Article 7, therefore, can be amended, possibly with the purpose of
amending Articles 1-6.” Sources involved in crafting the constitution explained that this was
done on purpose to make amendments to the first 6 articles more difficult but not
impossible, similar to the country of Turkey. The vice president u/sultanskyman explained
that “removing that provision will undoubtedly be very hard in yamliament.” Other sources
argue that this loophole could cause serious trouble in the wrong hands.
Editor's note: The following is an opinion piece written by an anonymous contributor. The contributors
views should not be taken as the views of this paper. Responses are welcome and may be published in the
The day the constitution was affirmed was a great day for this Republic or at least that’s the
official narrative. On rereading the Constitution the whole document is a farce. We are a
Republic only in name. The eternal leaders control the military, the Yamliament, the courts,
the money and even our freedom of speech and expression. Most Yams are completely
blind to it.
On a rereading of the constitution, it is hard not to be shocked by its supreme
meaninglessness. It's nothing but a clever power grab by the eternal leaders. Everything
else is just window dressing for them to legally consolidate their power. And we all fell for
it. We lapped it up like f**king kittens given a poisoned saucer of milk. The document pays
lip service to the idea of democracy setting up a democratic Yamliament that is actually
nothing but a cheap facade. The President, Congress and Senate are given the equivalent of
a mop and bucket to do the janitorial work for the Republic - all the boring but necessary
work that the eternal leaders don’t want to get their hands dirty doing.
Facts and Statistics as of 28 of May 2017
Political Parties and Related
Leader (if applicable)
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