Best Budz by Mike Gelles.pdf


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2.

BLONDE
What rules? I didn’t see any rules.
BERGER
Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section
thirty seven B of the contract
signed by you, it states quite
clearly that all offers shall
become null and void if, and you
can read it for yourself in this
photostatic copyBerger reaches into a filing cabinet, pulls out a copy of the
collective’s contract, and a magnifying glass.
BERGER (CONT'D)
I, the undersigned, shall forfeit
all rights, privileges, and
licenses herein and herein
contained, et cetera, et cetera,
fax mentis incendium gloria cultum,
et cetera, et cetera, memo bis
punitor delicatum!
He slams the magnifying glass and contract down on the
counter.
BERGER (CONT'D)
It’s all there, black and white,
clear as crystal! You stole fizzy
lifting drinksBLONDE
Fizzy lifting drinks?
BERGER
You bumped into the ceiling which
now has to be washed and
sterilized, so you get nothing. You
lose! Good day, sir!
BLONDE
But I haven’t even bought anythingBERGER
I said good day!
The Blonde stands silently in shock.
Just at that moment, SAMUEL “SAMMY” STEINS, Berger’s skinny
and unassuming best friend and business partner, enters with
a BANK AUDITOR.