Best Budz by Mike Gelles.pdf


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3.

Sammy trips over a box that has fallen from a barrel labeled
“Donations for the Troops”.
He puts the box back in the barrel as he fumbles with a bunch
of paperwork. Sammy looks up to see the Blond starring in
shock.
SAMMY
Berger what did you do?
BERGER
I didn’t do nuthin’.
tried to snag a nug.

This girl

BLOND
You lying sack of shitSAMMY
Miss I’m sorry, here on the house.
Sammy grabs a plastic pill bottle, prepackaged with weed.
She gives both Sammy and Berger a look of disdain, grabs the
bottle and walks out.
BANKER
If this is how you treat customers,
I can understand why you continue
to miss payments on your loan.
SAMMY
I’m sure there is some way we can
resolve this.
BANKER
You knew the terms of the contract
when you signed it.
BERGER
That contract is looser than
Sammy’s mom’s vagina.
SAMMY
Berger!
BANKER
(embarrassed)
I have no foreknowledge of the
state of said vagThe Banker tries to spit out the word, but his lips won’t
form them.