BadAss Resume (3) .pdf

File information


Original filename: BadAss Resume (3).pdf

This PDF 1.5 document has been generated by / Skia/PDF m62, and has been sent on pdf-archive.com on 13/08/2017 at 04:13, from IP address 73.83.x.x. The current document download page has been viewed 601 times.
File size: 64 KB (1 page).
Privacy: public file


Download original PDF file


BadAss Resume (3).pdf (PDF, 64 KB)


Share on social networks



Link to this file download page



Document preview


 

D. Jensen Thomas 
4216 N. McDONALD RD. 
Spokane Valley,  WA 99216 
916-292-8262 
JensenThomas21@GMAIL.COM 

Mission Statement 
My name is Jensen Thomas and sales get me hella juiced. I have tiger blood in my veins, as well as 
organs from some of the more cunning apes.  I  am 110% committed to winning, ALL the time. 
Technically still on the payroll  at a large tech company, but looking to jump ship on that dumpster 
fire. 

Experience 
March 1991 - April  1993 

Jammin’ Juice, San Luis Obispo, CA​ - Juice Jammer 


Started in on the ground floor of my buddy’s juice company. I worked there for 3 years, 
became vice-president, but after some accusations of insider trading came to light, we 
liquidated the juice company, and made a cool half million 

June 1995 - December 1999 

Enron, Houston, TX​ - Junior Executive 


Climbed the corporate ladder for a few years at Enron, but honestly I thought y2k was going 
to be a way bigger deal.  Liquidated all my assets and converted them to precious metals, 
bought a boat and spent a few years off the Somali Coast 

May  2006 - PRESENT 

Microsoft, Redmond, WA ​- R&D Specialist 


After realizing the world hadn’t ended and deciding to get back into the corporate game, I 
figured the ​Blade-Runner/Total Recall​ aesthetic was going to be at the height of popularity. 
Was instrumental in the launching of the Zune ™ Didn’t catch on like I’d hoped,  People 

found it, “monstrously large” and “off-putting” and “not user-friendly”  customers weren’t 
ready for the sleek, dazzling interface that personified the early 90s alt future 

Education 
1993 - 1995 

Super Classified NASA/Haliburton Joint Training Academy, Location Redacted​ - 
Lorem Ipsum Dolor Sit Amet, Fig and Plumbs full member 
Was specially chosen for elite business training.  Further information provided upon verification of 
credentials 

Awards 
Intramural Karate Tournament Champion, 1982, sold life-rights to the ​Karate Kid​ franchise 


Document preview BadAss Resume (3).pdf - page 1/1


Related documents


badass resume 3
january 2012 newsletter
eo research by question 1
rem sleep
newsletter may 2016 b
projectreport

Link to this page


Permanent link

Use the permanent link to the download page to share your document on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, or directly with a contact by e-Mail, Messenger, Whatsapp, Line..

Short link

Use the short link to share your document on Twitter or by text message (SMS)

HTML Code

Copy the following HTML code to share your document on a Website or Blog

QR Code

QR Code link to PDF file BadAss Resume (3).pdf