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These TIKI Brand torches are thoughtfully
designed to create your own personal paradise in
your backyard. They’re perfect for family
gatherings, neighborhood BBQs—even an
evening playing with your kids on the trampoline.
They are not, however, suitable for use by Nazis,
or any other racist bullshit. If you have nothing
better to do on a Friday night than protest the
assault of your white privilege, you don’t need a
TIKI Brand torch—you maybe need to get a pet.
Maybe a turtle, they’re pretty chill. Or a snake.
TIKI Brand is a registered trademark of Lamplight
Farms Incorporated, and they didn’t create or
endorse this sign. One of your fellow human
beings, a real person who maybe one day will
donate the blood needed to save your sorry life—
because, after all, it’s the same blood as yours—
decided to print it out and put it here.