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Doing Well Together
by Alosha Robinson

Doing Well Together
by Alosha Robinson

Cast of Characters:
DWAVE:
Dwave is very unsure. Dwave badly hopes they’re doing at least an
okay job, they hope they’re nice and talented and useful. Lately,
Dwave is really wondering why they’ve never done a single thing in
their life.

RENNY:
Renny is really dying. Renny feels horrible, and they also feel the
corners of their life caving in on him without asking permission.
Lately, Renny can't really see what's the point, and sometimes that’s
pretty funny to them but usually it just makes them want to lay in
bed but not fall asleep.

BAPER:
Baper is working hard. Baper has thought a lot about the best way to
live, and they are mostly satisfied with the complex but sensible
formula they’ve learned to funnel his humanity through. Lately, Baper
thinks they’ve been helpful, and they hope someone would tell them if
they weren’t.

Author’s Note:
They say misery loves company,
but I think everyone loves company.

1.

FIRST ACT
The First Scene
DWAVE and RENNY are playing their favorite ball
game with a big bright round red ball. They catch
the ball, they toss the ball, it is absolutely the
thing that friends like them do.
RENNY is laying on his back on his mattress. Their
are boxes of meal strewn around him. He catches
the ball from the bed, still on his back.
RENNY
For me, my experience has just become this horribly
blurry, ache. Incessant blaring, bleating. And I’m also
always slouching, and smell like garbage and tar ever
since it started. Is it really like that for you? Sorry
if I’m having trouble believing that.
DWAVE
Well, I don’t know! You should shower sometime, buddy,
that’s easy, that’d definitely help.
RENNY
Oh no yeah, I don’t imagine I’ll ever be taking a
shower again.
DWAVE
What? Being, um, being serious? Is that a decision
you’re making right now?
RENNY
Yes. I believe so.
DWAVE
That’s what you want? Never again?
RENNY
Yeah.
DWAVE
Is it just ’cause I keep, like bossing you around?
Sorry, I can stop asking you to clean yourself-- I just
think it would make you happy.
RENNY
Oh no, what you say doesn’t make a difference to me. I
just don’t see myself showering.
DWAVE
Oh. Okay. That makes sense I think. That makes sense.

2.

DWAVE has the ball. He thinks about that. He says
a thing that’s a part of the game as he throws it
to RENNY.
DWAVE
No-catch.
RENNY catches it. He looks down at the ball, hugs
it to his chest.
RENNY
Damn it.
DWAVE
You knew you weren’t supposed to catch that. Why did
you?
RENNY
You out-smarted me again.
DWAVE
Don’t say that, just don’t stretch your arms out next
time.
RENNY stretches his arms out, still holding the
ball. He retracts his arms. He stretches them out
again, retracts them.
RENNY
Is it that easy? Just don’t do the thing you’re not
supposed to do?
DWAVE
Throw it back.
RENNY
No. I like to just hold it. Why don’t we just hold
everything silently more?
RENNY laughs. He lays with ball hugged to his
chest.
I know that would be easier for me.
DWAVE
But you wanna keep saying what you were saying? About
the feeling of everything being hopeless, and the
corners of your life curling in, caving in lazily to
destroy you-RENNY
(correcting)
Suffocate me, not destroy me!

3.

DWAVE
Right-RENNY
Don’t quote me irresponsibly!
DWAVE
Yeah, I-RENNY
--It’s a joke but the verbiage, I’m-DWAVE
Right, no, yeah, I know, just let me-- I’ve been trying
to tell you how, that I think the idea of everything
you’re saying is all, it’s all relatable. sympathize,
or empa-- empathize-able, which one? You know what I
mean. I smell horrible too, buddy, you know? I haven’t
showered in a bunch of days, keep forgettin’ to wear
socks, and the terrible posture, also! I feel
embarrassed about myself.
RENNY
I think you look fine.
DWAVE
Thanks, but um, I just-RENNY
Pretty funny, I puked up blood this morning. Bright
red, like a crayon.
DWAVE
Yeah, well.. sorry, sorry man. That’s not funny, it’s..
that’s terrible. Where’d you do it at?
RENNY
I did it into one of my old shirts. I threw it away
already, it was too flashy for me I never wore it
anyway.
DWAVE
It’s definitely horrifying that’s still happening, but
it seems like we’ve kind of, um, kinda started coming
to terms with that sort of stuff, now, haven’t we? In a
way?
RENNY laughs not loud.
DWAVE
Or-- how is it for you?

4.
RENNY
No, yeah, I’m acquainted with it-- it’s still just
blood leaking from my body against my will. Hard to get
completely used to.
DWAVE
Yeah. I guess I’m just trying to look at it from a more
positive angle. Or at least a neutral one. Whenever it
seems like things are going bad with me and the love of
my life, I just try to always keep in mind that we’ve
been there before.
RENNY
No, I appreciate that perspective. That’s nice.
DWAVE
It’s, you know. I don’t know, it’s healthier than being
negative all the time, at least. From a mental
standpoint.
RENNY
Sure! Here’s to good health!
RENNY lays in silence, still, thinking. DWAVE
studies RENNY to see what’s up.
DWAVE
I’m, uh, I’m actually kind of worried about how things
are going with the love of my life.
RENNY
No catch.
RENNY throws the ball errantly. DWAVE doesn’t
attempt to catch it.
DWAVE
Can you-- can you just take a shower.
RENNY
Fine. Fuck you.
DWAVE
Cool. Sorry I’m bossing you around again-- is there
something I can do to help you?
RENNY
I don’t know. I shouldn’t have said fuck at you,
though.
DWAVE
Wait. Does it seem like the only thing I ever ask you
is if I can help you?

5.
RENNY
Huh, that’s an interesting observation. Now that you
mention it, it does seem like that’s the only thing
I’ve ever heard you say. Why don’t you go ahead and do
something for yourself?
DWAVE
Yeah. Okay!
DWAVE sits down at a table, starts working on a
letter he was writing with a quill and ink.
DWAVE
Thanks again for buying me this workspace, by the way.
It’s working great for me.
RENNY
I’m glad to hear that! It’s not necessary to keep
thanking me.
DWAVE writes.
RENNY
Dwave? I’ll tell you what sounds lovely right now.
DWAVE
What’sup?
RENNY
If I give you money, would you do me a favor?
DWAVE
Sure, what’sup?
RENNY
Would you go out and buy some gravy?
DWAVE
Um. Now?
RENNY
Sure!
DWAVE
You think you need gravy right now, Renny?
RENNY
(play-acting strangely)
Oh, no-- the gravy is for you. The gravy was always
intended to be a gift for you-- what, you don’t want
it?
DWAVE looks at RENNY and thinks about him. He taps
his quill on the paper.

6.

DWAVE
What’s a good word for "sorry"?
RENNY
Other than sorry?
DWAVE
Yeah.
RENNY
I don’t know. I think that might be one of those words
that only has one word.
DWAVE
(studying his letter)
I need to change it up. Looks repetitive.
RENNY
"Apologies?"
DWAVE thinks about it.
DWAVE
That sounds weird.
RENNY
"I’m ridden with guilt"?
DWAVE
I’ll just use sorry, it works.
RENNY
What is it you’re so sorry for?
DWAVE
Kinda having problems with the love of my life.
RENNY
Right, I recall you saying that!
DWAVE
Yeah.
RENNY starts wriggling up from the bed. DWAVE
writes.
RENNY takes off his shirt, turns his back, puts on
a towel. He looks down at his skin.
RENNY
I think my flesh might be rotting.

7.

DWAVE
(not looking up)
Might have to scrub hard once you get all sudsed up.
RENNY
I’ll leave it alone. I’m almost certain there are
horrible things beneath my surface, I don’t want to
accidentally expose anything to me.
DWAVE
Hey. Sorry, I don’t wanna be-- is there any way I could
read this to you real quick first?
RENNY
Well I’m about to take a shower. Like you wanted.
DWAVE
I know, that’s why I said real quick. I just want
input, it’s not long.
RENNY
Sure, read it.
DWAVE
I can just wait until you shower, I’m being selfish.
RENNY
No, I’ll hate myself if I don’t hear it this instant.
Please read it to me, I want to listen.
DWAVE
Okay. I was in the wrong too, we both---. Okay, it’s
um...:
"My beautiful darling,
I’m really sorry. Whenever we’re apart, I forget
exactly how I feel about you, and I’m real sorry
about that. When we’re hanging out, I always feel
like we should be together all of the time,
because that way I can keep knowing the exact way
how I feel about you, which feels excellent-- but
I don’t want to spend the time we’re actually
spending in the same place so busy thinking about
us that I’m not even there with you, but that
seems like the only time I’m ever able to.
Sorry, but part of me wonders aggressively if I
shouldn’t probably know how I feel about you even
when you’re not in the same place as me. Even if
you’re gone for every forthcoming year, I feel
like I should. Right? Please tell me.


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