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Algonquin .pdf


Original filename: Algonquin.pdf
Title: Untitled 2

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Dear Learners and Colleagues,
Good news! I am writing to you today to share the results of the
Academic Employee vote on the latest proposal to purchase a
bus and throw the students under it.
A majority of the colleges accepted the offer province-wide.
This was the news we had hoped for, and it means the students
can now continue to float anxiously around campus and in their
parent’s basements, compulsively checking Facebook and their
bank statements in a cloud of vape smoke. They must now
reassess their plans and expectations for their future, and apply to
their local McDonalds.
There has been a lot of speculation about what will happen next. I
am not going to speculate, but I truly think the last season of
Game of Thrones will be lit, bruh.

I will keep my promise, to promise that you will be informed, as
soon as I promise to have promising new information. We will
continue to update our information page, algonquinstrike/
thrownunderthebus with details as they become available.
Perhaps when the Student’s Association finds the next best way
to use our money without asking to support the College. Might I
suggest a Sky Writer airplane?
What is certain is that we will get through this time following the
values of our College: Your Money, Constant Construction, A Leak
in Every Room Dripping into a Bucket, A Smelly Library, and
Vague Updates. The Algonquin family is built on these values –
those who started the College, and those who have built it to be
one of the most respected colleges in the west end of Ottawa
over the past 5 weeks.
We are navigating difficult times right now, but I continue to
promise and hope, that we will all hope, to promise, to be together
again very soon. I promise.

!

Sincerely,


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