STARWARS (PDF)

STAR WARS

written by
Caleb Rodda, Tim Palmer, Isaac Rodda

Address: 35 Aubrey St, Ingleburn, NSW, 2565
Phone: 0420472395
E-mail: caleb.rodda@gmail.com
 

1. INT. THE NAUTILA DAY
We open on our hero, JOSH SOLO, the infamous Han Solo's
enigmatic brother. He stands around 5'7" and is a little
chubby at the waist. He wears a round brimmed hat pulled up
at the sides to appear as a Stetson, a blaster pistol hangs
by his side. He prepares his spaceship, The Nautila, for take
off.
JOSH
Passengers all aboard, we don't
have all day!
A young man, LUKE SKYWALKER, is the lone figure to board the
ship via a set of stairs. He is slim, blonde, good looking
and carries himself with an air of timidity.
Come on

JOSH (CONT’D)

Luke walks off into a unseen room on the ship. The Ship
prepares for take off and Josh walks into a backroom and is
heard speaking to his crew-mate, CHIP.
JOSH (CONT’D)
(muffled exchange between
him and Chip)
Don't worry about it.
Beat
JOSH (CONT’D)
I'll call you when I need you.
Josh walks towards the room where Luke waits within. Josh
gestures at the camera, indicating that it should follow him,
as he walks past.
2. INT. COMMON ROOM. CONTINUOUS
Josh walks toward a sleep opposite Luke
JOSH
So, who have we got here?
Josh sits down across from Luke.
LUKE
Luke, Luke Skywalker

2.
JOSH
Oh. Hey you're that kid who stormed
and blew up that um, that deathstar?
Yeah

LUKE

JOSH
And who walked with a guy called
Han Solo.
Mm

LUKE

JOSH
And killed Darth Vader?
Beat
LUKE
(A flash of sadness
crosses Lukes face.)
Mm yeah
JOSH
I've heard a lot of stories about
you, you know.
Really?
Yeah

LUKE
JOSH

Josh turns and yells out door towards the backroom where Chip
is eagerly waiting.
Chip!

JOSH (CONT’D)

CHIP
(Offcreen)
I'm coming!
JOSH
A bring me a bottle of wine with ya
would ya!
CHIP
(Disgruntled)
Yes Josh.

3.
The camera lingers on the door with the expectation that Chip
will appear.
JOSH
(Offscreen)
So...
Chip appears at the door while offscreen Josh inexplicably
cries out in pain? Chip looks nervous while he waits outside
the threshold of the room. After a moment Chip enters the
room and gives Josh the bottle of wine
JOSH (CONT’D)
(handing the bottle then
over to Luke)
Here you go.
Thanks

LUKE

Luke then proceeds to chew the neck of the bottle for a
prolonged period of time. Josh looks gleefully on.
Thanks

LUKE (CONT’D)

He screens the lid back on the bottle of wine and tosses it
to Josh.
JOSH
So, where are you planning to be
going, on this magnificent flight
on the Nautila?
CHIP
(offcreen and over the top
of Josh's dialouge.)
Caleb?
Josh looks at Chip unimpressed.
CHIP (CONT’D)
(Still offscreen)
Caleb, can we do the part where,
when you say, when you say um, you
work for Jabba the 3. INT. COMMON ROOM. CONTINUOUS
Instantly cutting into the action.
LUKE
Not really no.

4.
JOSH
So you are just following where we
go?
Yeah!
And then -

LUKE
JOSH

Awkward pause.
JOSH (CONT’D)
I'll take you to somewhere where I
think you might, um,
ZOOM IN TO CU ON JOSH'S FACE
JOSH (CONT’D)
you can use some lava troopers for
target practice?
LUKE
(Offcreen)
Alright
ZOOM BACK TO TO LS OF THE WHOLE ROOM.
So.

JOSH

Josh hands the bottle of wine back to Luke.
JOSH (CONT’D)
Let me introduce myself
LUKE
Yeah, and you areJOSH
My name is Josh...
Beat
JOSH (CONT’D)
I work for Jabba the Hutt.
It is revealed the Chip has been standing the room the whole
time without our knowledge!

5.
CHIP
(Cries out in anguish)
Oh I hate it when you tell me that!
Chip falls to the floor, apparently passing out under the
weight of his shame. Josh appears to completely ignore Chip
and his unusual behaviour.
JOSH
And I... am Han Solo's Brother!
Chip rears up his head from the floor, desperately trying to
out his grievances
CHIP
Argh, I hate it when you tell me
that!
JOSH
But you won't be having any
encounters with Jabba the Hutt
Josh gestures his hand towards Luke to re-assure him. He
begins to walk out of the room and looks down at Chip as he
passes him buy.
JOSH (CONT’D)
Come on Chip
Oo ah, Ya.

CHIP

The three follow each other out of the room and we fade to
black.
4. EXT. A WIDE OPEN FIELD. DAY
The three men stride confidently across a wide open plane.
Josh stands in the middle slightly in-front, leading the
group onwards to an unknown destination.
JOSH
(facing away from the
camera.)
Stop Dad...

6.
CAMERA PANS AROUND IN FRONT OF THE GROUP
JOSH (CONT’D)
(Looking towards the
camera as it pans around
him)
Did you stop?
Beat, as the camera completes it's pan.
JOSH (CONT’D)
So, this... the Saint, of the
Santian Planes, of the Santanian
Gates
(cough)
Hmmm..?

LUKE

JOSH
Right in the middle of the Norshan
Desert. Come on, let's go
The trio begins to walk away. Chip looks at the camera as he
passes. They walk a short distance and as they walk Luke
picks up a stick, snaps it in half and throws it away. Chip
points at something in the distance. They arrive at a small
clump of trees and Chip splits off from the group to walk
away offscreen.
JOSH (CONT’D)
So, have you ever been to these
planets before
LUKE
Not really, um there is one thing I
want to ask you.
JOSH
(whinging)
What?
LUKE
Do you own these things?
JOSH
Well not exaclty. I kinda do and I
kinda don't Josh is cut off as a desperate cry rings out offscreen. Chip
has called out in pain, a desperate plea to his master to
come to his aid.

7.
LUKE & JOSH (CONT’D)
WHAT THE!?!
The two men sprint off towards Chip who is revealed to have
fallen to the fetal position in pain. Josh and Luke crouch
down next to Chip and Josh begins to examine Chip's leg,
desperately looking for the source if Chips pain.
JOSH (CONT’D)
Where is it? - Ah ha!
Josh quickly pulls the creature of Chip's leg, in a dashing
display of heroism Josh whips his blaster from it's holster
and blows the dastardly creature to kingdom come. The cry of
the blaster echos across the plains.
Beat
JOSH (CONT’D)
I hate it when that happens.
LUKE
Yeah, that was gross.
JOSH
Come on, lets go.
The three men begin to walk away.
Dad stop.

JOSH (CONT’D)

The three turn to face the camera.
JOSH (CONT’D)
That was it.
Luke begins to jump around excitedly, he is hunched over,
like some sort of gollum creature.
LUKE
(Gleefully)
Can we see it all together?