Module 4 â€“ The X â€“ Stuck in Negativity .pdf
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Module 4 – The X – Stuck in Negativity
When we’re acting from an X pattern, we are typically complacent, with little or no ambition,
and with few goals for the future. Getting stuck in this pattern often results in giving up on
the idea that life can ever be any better than it is now, and usually leads to relying on
assistance from the government, family, or friends - without reciprocation. Which also leads
to feelings of entitlement.
The X pattern also coincides with blaming others for our personal shortcomings. We may
feel like the significant challenges we are facing are beyond our control, and as a result we
may have difficulty recognizing and taking advantage of opportunities that come along that
could better our lives.
So how does someone fall into an X pattern of behavior?
Many of us stuck in this pattern reflect our situation in life. We may have been born into
poverty, growing up in areas where criminal activity, substance abuse, and gang affiliation
is the norm. We may have also suffered from traumatic life experiences or may have always
lived in a challenging home environment.
Often, the type of behavior described by the X pattern is familiar and comfortable for us. We
might have grown up with few, if any, positive role models, and simply haven’t been
exposed to another standard of living. We may be unaware of the vast opportunities within
Each of the 3 patterns of behavior--X, Y and Z--have both positive and negative
The positive characteristics for the X pattern are not necessarily positive - they just may not
work against the interests of the individual acting from this pattern.
Some examples of X-positive characteristics include:
Dependent on others
Comfortable living on minimum wage
Lives from check to check and is happy to simply have the bills paid
Has low relationship standards
Has low moral standards
Has poor physical presentation
Frequently uses terms such as should’ve and could’ve
Has low standard of living
Has unrealistic dreams
Often talks about what he or she will do with little or no follow-through
Content to simply exist rather than grow
Is a likeable person
Lacks self-esteem/confidence. Pretends to have high self-esteem
The negative characteristics of the X pattern are reflective of our choices and attitudes,
some of which may be subconscious. These characteristics do typically work against us
when we’re acting from the X pattern.
Some examples of X-negative characteristics include:
Attracted to negative people
Seems miserable and uses negative dialogue
May be overly happy or sad without justification
Has low standards
Has anger issues
Often doesn’t learn from past
Are always unfair or mistreating him/her
Has a pattern of conflict within relationships
Has a pattern of not meeting financial obligations
Is very irresponsible
Engages in negative dialogue
Never delivers on promises or achieves goals
Is destructive towards self or relationships
Has irrational thought patterns
Has a sense of entitlement
Feels persecuted, as though others
Many of us will have a combination of positive and negative X characteristics, though we
may lean more towards one than the other. No matter what combination of X attributes we
have, getting stuck in an X pattern is never ideal in our society.
If you have friends, family, or associates who are stuck in X-type behavior, you will
find that in many cases you will not be able to change their attitudes or behavior with
Instead, focus on changing your own X characteristics and becoming a role model for
them. Patience is key for transforming out of the X pattern. Take steps to move forward
and have patience with yourself. Change doesn’t usually happen in one day.
How Does Society Label an X?
Society will usually put five or more of the following labels on a person who may be
considered an X-type:
Has low self- esteem
Likely to engage in substance
X Crowd and Family Characteristics
One of the worse things an X can do is spend time with other X-types. Unfortunately,
most X- types attract other X-types and often come from families composed of mainly
The X Crowd is usually a group of friends or peers that is seen or described as:
• Lacks morals
• Uninterested in attending
• Unaware or doesn’t care about social
• Lacks goals or aspirations
• Tends to be attracted to or
excited by violence and conflict
• Bullies others
• Aggressive or passive aggressive
• Degrades others
An X-negative family will typically have 3 or 4 of the following characteristics:
• Lacks values and morals
• Is okay with the daily "hustle"
• Lacks spiritual guidance or
• Lacks interest in education
• Engages in a party lifestyle
• Engages in dangerous
on a regular basis
• Engages in criminal behavior
• Has substance abuse issues
• Strong willed personality
• Irresponsible behavior
• Lacks drive or ambition
• Unemployed and content with
• Highly skilled con-artist
• Blames others for life's shortcomings
An X-positive family will often have the following characteristics:
Lives at or below the poverty level (and content to do so)
Rife with mediocrity
Has a bleak outlook on life
Has unrealistic or non-existent goals
Has little or no follow-through
May be employed but lacks a career
So how exactly do we change our behavior if we find that sometimes, or even often, we are acting
from an X pattern?
One simple choice we can make, that will likely make a significant and immediate difference, is to
expose ourselves to the positive side of life. We can take part in healthy and constructive
activities that we enjoy. In doing so, we can connect with others who will become role models and
will have a positive influence on us.
Another important step we can take is getting supported in the change process. It’s not easy, and
having the support of someone like a life coach, counselor, spiritual teacher, or other professional
can really help us make the transformation we need to make. They can encourage us to revisit
our attitudes and thoughts about life, helping us see that what we are experiencing is often the
direct result of our own action or inaction.
Whoever this person is, it’s important that we can meet with them regularly through the process
so they can support us and guide us to continue to make positive choices that are good for our
development, and learn from our mistakes along the way.
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