Your Daily Donkees and Lee 20190626 (PDF)

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Donkee Poetree
By Lee McCormack
Poet Laureate of Your Daily Donkeys

Deez gerls stanns dare
ann looks ats mee.
I hasta wunder wat day sea.
Jus ann ole guie inna chare
ware-inn reel cleen unnerware,
or a guie hoo rites dis Donkee poetree?

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 1

Sometime in 2012, I began posting daily pictures of our two West Virginia donkeys on Facebook. Over time Pippin and Pico attracted quite a following and
people looked forward to their daily donkey “fix.” One of those inveterate
donkey watchers was Lee McCormack, Martha's Vineyard Poet Laureate. At
some point Lee wrote a short silly donkey poem in response to a picture and,
before long, Lee’s poems became not only a fixture of the donkey posts but as
highly anticipated as any donkey picture.

What follows is a collection of Lee’s poems with the pictures that inspired them. Most come from the heyday of the Your Daily Donkeys Facebook page in 2013. Enjoy. Read them out loud among friends.
—- Feeder Guie, June 26, 2019
A morning donkey brings cheer into the hearts of men. Thank you donkey.
I am fond of your daily donkeys because they obviously do very little in the way of productive work, which is, I believe,
the essence of a long creative and spiritual life.

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 2

Donkey News is always "good news".


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 3

Daily Donkees raise ther ears
The better footsteps for to heer
Of the approaching feeder guie
Who brings 'em oats an' hay' an' pie
So they may be thus well fed
An' in the farmyard knot fawl ded.


Daily donkees gnoe
Touch the fence -- noe noe!
For its electriks gloes
An stingles on our noes.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 4

For the sake of World Peace
They bow ther heds and eet an' eet,
An wen awll the eetins dunn
They munch on hay jus fer funn,
An wen awll the hay is gone
They goes to da gate
An wates til dawn
Fer the man to come agin
An feeds 'em more World Peace agins.


Donkees standin in a row
Two ob dem, an' noe mow
Lookin mitey proud an' fine
In der donkee marchin line
As dey choos upon der gums
An dey wates for he woo comes
Wit de perfict remedy
Fer der hungry malady.
Ain't it grate, de Donkees say
Ta gits fed evry dae
By dis guie woo wates on us
An gives awll dis reel good stuff!


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 5

Donkees out der catching rays
on vacation evry dae
waitin fer the feeder guie
to gits up, come strollin bie
an makes dem famous on de net
wit fotos dat we can'ts fergit.


Daily Donkees looks intense
standin bie electrik fence
thinkin bout importent stuff
likes hae an oats - can't gits enuff buts not aboud no politiks
dat terns mens inta bad bootlicks
except dat frendly feeder guie
woo comes eech mornin bie an bie
an tells em bout da president
an awll dem guies in gubbermint
an tho Donkees doan unnerstan
the strange waes of man an state
der glads fer foods left bie de gate.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 6

So much depends on a Daily Donkee beside a red barn glazed with rain.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 7

Donkees has dees grate big eers
Awl da better dem ta heers
Awl dees peeples maykin cheers
Fer dem grate big donkee eers!


Donkee looks us inna eye
wile hee loks at feeder guie
so dat we awlls gits ta see
jus howse nyce da Donkees bee.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 8

Donkees gots der nose in pans
eetin stuff fast as dey can
an wens de Donkees eetins thru
dey will pose fer mee and yoo
and look rite ats da feeder guie
woo taykes der pikshur bie an bie
an posts dem on de innernet
soes wee kin sees 'em nowse you bet!


O dese donkees bie da gate
lookin purty wiles dey wate
for da mornin feeder guie
ta gits up an comes bie
an scratch der noses reely nyce
wonz knot enuff -- doo it twyce -an gib 'em awll dose goodlie treets
wiles livin large on Eeezy street.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 9

Mid-day donkees in da sun
standin der an havin phun
wundrin bout da howz an wies
of dat noons dae feeder guie.
An doze dey doan bee movin mutch
fer sher its phun wens nozes tutch
cawse nozes is da tings dey uze
ta makykes da peeple watchin chooz
ta looks at Donkees fotograff
an goes Aww shucks, and smyles, and laffs.


Ta daze wee seez da dayly cat
wundrin if Donkees git fat
or if deys wood leeves im sum food
fer cat ta tayste - it mites bee gude.
But Donkees eets most ebbryting
an de poor cat, ee gits nuthin,
cawse Donkees noes dat dey is best
an kitty cats kin jus bee pests.
But Donkees does lykes da cats
wens it goes an eets da rats
dat hangs out in da Donkee barn
wer da Donkees kin bee warm.
Soze cats and Donkees tolerates
eech uther eevin wen dey hasta wates
fer feeder guie bies da gates.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 10

Donkees standin too bie too
won is grae an won is bloo,
an both kiks dawgs an cyotes too.
But wen da mornin feeder guie
brings dem food dey both trie
ta looks reel cuoot soes wee will see
Donkees ares reel frendlee
eetin bie da red barn
an keepin sheeps frum da harm.
But won ting dat dey wanna gnoe
is wer did awll da sheepes goe?
Nowse dey gots nuthins ta doo
buts look reel cuoots fer mee an yoo.


Daily Donkees is da best one face East, da udder, West,
jus da wae da werld shuld bee
livin in Donkee harmoanee.
An wile wons eets sum oats, yum,
da udder won shows 'is bum
so dat awlls ob us kin see
howse a Donkees bum shuld bee,
cawse wee alays sees der nose
but nod de end behynd wat goes
wer de feeder guie kins see
both ends ob dese Donkees.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 11

Snoeey Donkees meens no harm
eetin otes bie dee red barn.
An ifs dey duznts lykes da snoe
back inta da barn dey goe.
Cawse in da barnes its warm an drie
mayde jus fer dems bie feeder guie
who tooks der pikcher jus ta shoe
Daily Donkees in da snoe.


Noos Yeers Donkees looks so good
hangin in da Donkee Hood
out der wher dat feeder guie
comes ta feed 'em bie an bie,
wid eers wats standin prowd an tall
ta better heer da feedin cawl.
Cawse Noos Yeers Donkies nose da score,
dat Noos Yees is a speshul dae
dat cayme a thyme or too beefor
an gived 'em extra otes an hae.
An nowse dese Donkees wisht us well
dat 2013 terns out reel swell
an maykes us awll hav good thymes
awll yeers long wit Donkee piks
an Donkee rimes.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 12

Daylee Donkees alays trie
ta looks good fer da feeder guie
even doe der hoofs is froze
an so is eers an der noes
cawse de wants 'im ta feels gud
hangin in da Donkee Hood
an gnoes he has sum stressful daze
witch maykes 'im knot wanna play
wit Donkees in da yard outsyde
in der freezin Donkees pryde.


Donkees standin in da woods
feelin proud an lookin gud.
Dis lyfe wee leeds, dey almose sae,
is fylled wit lotsa otes an hae,
an as wee maykes da daylee rounds
wee thynks grate thoughts dat arr profound
an sher ta pleese dat feeder guie
an awll 'is frends woo lykes ta spie
on dees Donkee thyngs wee doo
inda woods jus fer yoo.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 13

Dese Donkees lykes ta thynk ob thyngs
dat maykes 'em glad an' maykes 'em sing.
But sumthymes wen da wethers badd
Dey thynks ob thyngs dat maykes 'em sad.
Dey thynks an' thynks an' thynks an' thynks
important thyngs dat doesn't stynk
of polytyks an' thyngs mens doo
dat turns por Donkees inta glu.
But dough de lives a lifes ob eese
an' tries dar feeder guie ta pleese
der is won thyng Donkees gnoe -its reely freezin in da snoe.
An sun feels gud upon der nose
an maykes 'em happy wer dey goes,
but wen its cold dey reealize
its reely hard ta filosofize.

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 14

Push-mee-pull-yoos lookin bloo
is reely Donkees too bies too
woo thynks its gud da snoe is gone
an hopes it staes awaes fer long,
cawse Donkees lykes ta bee outsyde
ta eets der food fum feeder guie
wens da wedders warms an nyce
an dat guie feeds 'em twyce.


As a Donkee shows reer vue
in der distince, a shed arr bloo
an mykes dem wunder wiles dey eet
if da cat looks fer a treet.
Da cat looks attem wid cat scorn
an' thangs dat he ain't Donkee born.
But Donkees laff an' laff sum moor
an' thyngs da cat is myty por
cawse it doan gits noe oats an' hae
from feeder guie ebbery dae.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 15

Fer sher dis Donkee wunders wie
der cat sneeks bie da feeder guie
wens der out der eetin otes
and der hae det dat guie totes.
De udder Donkee seems ta sae
kitty beter staes awae
frum dis playte of reel guds stuf
wat Donkees niver gits enuff!


Donkees stayin in da barn
cawse der tryin ta keeps warm.
Dey gnoes its 3 digries owtsyde
an waes too cold fer feeder guie.
But dey wunders if hees sik
or is dis ownlee jus a trik
ta staes in bed an sleeps sum mor,
cawse dats wat awll dose beds is for.
But nowse dey sees 'im cummin near
an thynks dat hee is lookin drere,
an hopes hee doesn'ts has ta goe
to dat grate barn beyond da snoe
wer awll grate feeder guies aryves
if cold maykes dem not bee alyves
ta goes owt in der icee wynd
an feed dese Donkees wonce agin.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 16

We sawz dees Donkees wunze beefor
but lykes ta seez 'em hole lots mor,
but caws dat Donkee looked reel meen
da kat keeps distenze farr beetween
its self an Donkees feedin bole,
cawze kiddy wants ta stayes awl hole
an knots gits kikked bie Donkees fete
wyles tryn ta steel da foods dey eet.
Buts yoo kins bets wen dae is dun
da kat cums bak ta haves sum phun
an maykes dem Donkees hav werries
abouds intenshuns of kitties.
Da poemer guie woo rites dis verse
thinks kats intenshuns cud bee werse,
an dat da kittie lykes ta teese
suspyshus Donkees wyle dey feeds.


Heer cums Donkees ups da path
maykin jokes sose dey kin laff
at dat mornin feeder guie
woos wyfe is goddess an wil frie
'is ass wit thunder bolts ob fyre
if hees doan hurries ups owtsyde
an feeds dem sose dey donts die,
witch of corse, dey wonts doo
an mites owtlives mee an yoo.
So thynks on dis throos yer dae mae Donkees live fer allwaes.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 17

Donkees basking in da sun
wundrin ifs da guie will cumm
ta taykes a piksher of der ass
(witch Donkees gnoes gots reel class)
but stils dey sae dat it aint funn
wen Donkees is da onlee wons
woos ass is showin in da cold
an woos prayses is extolled.
Maebee dat ole feeder gie
shuds gits undressed wen he cums bie
an lets deez Donkees has da laffs
lookin at iz boney ass!


Now wens Donkees sees da guie
cummin neers de wyll trie
ta looks at 'im wid eevil eye.
Dey wyll looks wit looks askance
an dey wonts laffs an dey wonts dance
cawe Donkees gnoes dat dis aint France
wer peeple lykes ta looks at butts
an udder tyngs dat drives mens nuts
bud speshlie does guies called abbots
woo lykes ta goes arouns eech dae
preechin louds sose peeple paes
lotsa munnies to da church
wiles behynds altars dey beesmurch
da good nayme Donkees awlays had
beefors da guie mayde dems look badd.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 18

Wers da Donkees on dis day seems lykes dey iz gones awes.
Maybees dey arr hydin owts
wer feeder guie canknots flowt
der Donkees noeses an der bums
an maykes dees Donkees feels reel glum.
Bud Donkees ses dey gnoes wats best
an dats fer dems ta taykes a rest
an hydes owt behynds da barn
wer noe Donkees cums ta harm.
Dey wunders ifs dell terns ta gloo
or appeers agins fer mee an yoo.
Soes asks yerselfs da reeson wie
wee gots no piks frum feeder guie.
Wee reely hopes dat hee aints sik,
but sher wood liykes a pik reel kwik
dat showes us Donkees in der prime
livin owt der Donkee thyme.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 19

Wen feeder gerl cums arownd
Donkees harts begins ta pownd,
an eevin ifs der stumaks growl,
Donkees brae, dey doans howl.
Dey sae dat itz reely gud
wen shees in da nayberhood,
an gibs em lottsa foods an stuff
cawse Donkees niver gits enuff
ob otes an hae an dat korn
dat maykes em feels lykes daes wellborn,
libbin eesy on dis heers farms
an showin offs awl der charms.
Donkees has a speshilty -lookin goods fer yoo an mee,
an beein nyce fer feeder gerl
hoo dey thynks is a perl,
cawse feeder gerl doan nevir trie
ta show der bums lyke feeder guie.


Afters storm dees Donkees basks
wyle feeder guie duz is tasks
lyke follow dees heer Donkees rownd
an taykes der piks wer dey arr fownd,
an bryngs em brekfass an der brunch
soes awll dey hast ta doo is munch
on gud stuffs otes korns an awll
an let doze solar raes jus fawl
pons dis erth wats gloebals warms
an cawsin lottsa winder storms.
Dey lykes ta pawse wer ids sunny
an sees der shadows lookin phunny
cast der downs upons da snoe
wer da Donkees hoofs does goe.
An wer der wonce was ownlee too,
nowse ders 4 Donkees fer mee an yoo.
Dis is howse dey multyplyes
wen dey basks in suns owtsydes.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 20

Der useta bee a Donkee in dis pile ob snoe
bud id didden has noe leggs an hads noe
wers ta goe.
Soe id wayted pashentlee fer da sun too
an sloely sloely melted intoo a Donkees


Donkees Donkees in da barn
owta rane an owta harm.
Libbin lives on eesy street
inn der castle, O soe neet.
Dis is wat dees Donkees sae
iz da wae ta spends da dae,
wyle feeder guie wates on dem
eevins ifz hees gots da flemms.
An ifs hees sik an canknots cums
feeder gerl stops er strums
an laes down dat ole gitar
an ses tu hims au revoir eyes gots ta goes owt in da rain
an feed dem Donkees wonce agane.
Bud Donkees thynks ids reely gratyte
dat dey doesnts hast ta wate
in da rane an in da storm
wer da lytning lykes ta swarm.
Donkees lykes it wen der dries,
an staes insydes, an doesnt dyes.
In da barns der sayfe an sownds,
eevin wen dose kats arownds,
and dey gots da foods dey needs
an doesnts hast ta eets dem weeds
wat iz reel guds wen suns iz shynes
bud aint soe gudes in raney thymes.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 21

Wyle der Donkees tries ta eets
der kat cums creepin on kats feets
witch maykes da Donkees insekures
an knot trust kats, dats fer sher.
Donkees sae kats is famillyers
of dem broomstik ryder gerls,
witch wares big hats an casts da spells
dat maykes sum peeples knot feel wells.
Da black kats awlays is da werst,
an shows up inna lottsa verse
dat peeple wrytes ta maykes us scared,
dough dee truf is Donkees doan kare,
cawse dey reeds filosofy
dat awlays proves dat witch kant bee.
Styll, wens dat kat cums arownds
Donkees maykes a speshill sownd
dat keeps dose creepy thyngs awae,
so Donkees feers cans bee alllayd!
Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 22

Forze-forty wons and stil gnoe sines
ob Dailly Donkees libbin in der prymes,
eetin foods or chaysin kats,
or thynkin thyngs dat maykes kats flat.
Donkees hasta wunders wers
is feeder guie wat lykes ta shares
Donkees lubbly Donkee lifes
wid does peeples fyulls ob styfe,
hoo depends mosts ebbry dae
on seein Donkees eetin hae,
an chuein on dee otes an korn
an waytin bie dee gaytes at morn.
Dey reely reely hopes an praes
dat feeder guie iz oks,
an wunders bouds dat feeder gerl
an weres shee iz ins dis werld.
Sumhow, sumthin jus doan seems ryte,
cawse nowse ids gittin close ta nyte,
an stil noe pikchers aint bin took
upon witch awll dees peeples look
wid grate joys an deelytes
ta gits em throo awll der bad nytes
ob worry bouds ekonomee
an politiks an thyngs dat bee
untils dees Donkees dey doo fynds
tue takes da bad thyngs off der mynds.


Dees tue Donkees looks reel sad
cawse feeder guie a bad day had,
or ifs knot bad, reely longs
an wares im owts widowts a song.
Styll, hee cums ta taykes dis pik
ob Donkees eers an noes dey stiks
ryte up close inn tue da lens
soe hees wil tayke der piks agens
an help da peeples sleeps at nytes
wen dey sees da Donkees iz awl ryte!


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 23

Dees heer Donkees staes awaes
frum da beehyves awll dis dae.
Dey doesnts lykes tu gits stungs
cawse det knoes dat itz aint phunns.
Sose dey lets dat feeder guie
plaes wid bees bud wunders whie
duz hee wants ta heer dem buz
an maykes dat sownd wat sownds lyke fuz
or dee velcroes inn is eers
witch Donkees thynks iz mytey queer,
an hopes dey nivver hast ta see
dat por guie swarmed bie awll dem bees.
Cawse den hee woods yells a lots
an has sum bumps an not feels hot
an havta stae homes inna bed
an hopes da styngs doan mykes im ded.
So Donkees knoes dat dey are smart
ta staes awae frum dose bees apartment wer dey awll lyves in bunch
ta mayke sum hunny fer der guies lunch.
Donkees noes just wer de bees be
becawse dey studies gud geegrofees.
Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 24

Whyle Donkees stans at ryte angles
sose geeomatrees wonts bee mangles
maykin lottsa symmatree
dat dar artysts lykes ta see,
feeder guie iz reel kwiks
an soze hee dun kin snap dis pik
dat showes dee Donkees bie da shed
wat looks lykes itz abouds halfs ded,
an dat iz wie da Donkees cums
ta holds it ups wit der bums.
An dis wae dat ole feeder guie
cants taykes noe fotoes if 'ee tries
ob der lubby Donkee ass
ta maykes dese Donkees looks reel crass.
Donkees is reel smarts yoo see,
smarter den yoo, smarters den mee,
an dees Donkees lerns reel fass
ta hold ups sheds and hyde der ass.


Por ole Donkees, cummins sloe
ta git ta wers der brekfass goes,
wid der noeses tue da growns
ta sees ifs treets kin bee fowns.
Dey iz wundrin wers da gras,
an da thystles dey useta pass
befor der werls was filled wit snoe
an mayde em knots wanna goe
reely fass tue da playce
wer feeder guies hasta wayte
til dees Donkees doo aryves
ta eets dat korns keeps dem alyves,
an maebee munchen ons sum hae
an hopes dis wynter goes awae
reely soons sose dey cans eets
dose natchral Spryngthymes Donkee treets.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 25

Donkees has ta sae AHEM!
heer cums dat sneekin kats agin!
Wile weer eeten arr gud korn
in dis erly winters morn,
id cums arowns inna prowls
dat maykes us Donkees wanna howl,
cawse we gnoes dat ebbry dae
dis heer kat cums dis wae
ta tryes ta steels arr gud foods
an meeows sum thyngs reel rood
wat gnoe Donkee lykes ta heer
in itz handsum Donkee eers.
Wee thynks kats shood staes ats hoam
an knots cum owts heer an romes
awl arowns arr brekfass playce
actin lykes id wans a tayste
ob dee stuffs wat wee libs on
wyles wishin det da kats was gone.

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 26

Donkees wunders jus how cums
dis kiddy kats climmed up bums
an gots up onz da Donkees bak
wer itz iz sitin lookin fat.
Sumhowse dis duzints seems soe gud
ta hav sum kats in nayborshood,
bud dis wons is mose speshly bold
ta sits ups der inn da cold.
We thynks dat maybees feeder guie
gots ups dis mornins wit a slie
an sylly thowts in is hed
abouds a pik ta nocks em ded,
sose awll dose peeples wat wyl looks
fer Donkees piks wyl bee shooks
rite owts ob der socks an shoos
bie a kat wat doan reefoos
tue be scared of Donkees noas
an fer a ryde on Donkees goes.
Nowse sum ob us mytes thynks itz troo
bud derz won guie hooz ses "Fools yoo!"


Donkees ses dis Eeester thyng
starts ta looks lyke myte bee spryng.
Nouse wee see sum grass wats green
an ders noe snoe inn dis sceene.
But fer sher sumthin isnts ryght
cawse bunnies didnts cums las nyte
an leeves us lottsa eester eggs.
Weel jus has ta goe an beggs
dat feeder guie for dem treets
wats beter dan dee bunnies eet,
an ifs dee Donkee god is risen
weel gits rid ob dogmatism
bie kikin caynynes in da heds
sose dey beleeves dat hee aint deds.
An den weel stans heer bie dis fenze
an praes dat Eeyore cums agenze
on Eeester wen da bunnies ryze
an goes arowns da eggs ta hydes
soe Donkees kin wakes up inna morns
an see da Donkee Gods reborns.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 27

Donkees reeds filozofies
ta fynd owt ifs dey kin sees
wie Gods maydes da Kiddie Kat
wat sneeks arowns behyns der baks,
an dey wunder wie it kums
sneekin pas der Donkee bums
wen ids culd goe anuthers wae
an knot upsets em ebbry dae.
Da kat shees heded fer da barn
ta eets sum mouses an stae warm,
an maybees sits down wid da rats
an has a liddle Donkee chats
wat maykes phunn ob Donkees feets
wyle dey stans owtsydes an eets.
Donkees sae if kat was bilt
lyke a kyote derd bee gnoe gilt
if dey mayde it flie in ayr
an separates de bones frum hare.
Bud kiddie is tue smarts fer dat
an sneeks awae ta plae wid rats
hoo doesnts has no Donkees feet
dat culd da liddle kiddie beet
untils id culdn'ts sneek arown
wile Donkees eets, an mayke em frown.
Sum peeples wil sae id isnts troo Donkees is goods thrue an thrue,
bud dose dat libs der reel cloas bie,
lykes feeder gerl an feeder guie,
gnoe dat Donkees kin be meen
an wif der hoofs vents Donkee spleen,
an ifs de evvers katch dat cat
dey mite doo soe, an dat is dat!


Sumthymes Donkees goes astrae
an wee sees em fars awae
lyke heer wer Donkees looks reel smawl
an doesnts seem ta looks reel tawl.
Bud cawse dey has da bryte wyte noes
we sees wer ever Donkee goes
an heer its looks lyke Donkees leggs
is dancin jigs or braykin eggs,
witch Donkees is bin knoen ta doo
wen der happy, wen der bloo.
Lurkin owts heer in da feeld
an eetin weeds wat taystes reel
drie an browns an sortas gross
an aint wat Donkees lykes da moast,
dey wunder wies dat feeder guie
follows dem wit cambra eiye
an taykes der pik so far awae
dat folks cants eevins heer dem brae.
O well ses Donkees, ids styl phunn
ta mayke dat feeder guie ta kumm
an shows da peeples wat dey miss
knot havins Donkees dey kins kis
inn da mornin an da nyte
ta mayke dis ole werld feels awlryte.

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 28

Donkees sae it iz a hoot
wit hare ob tode an eiye ob newt
ta folow katz an casts a spel
det sends dis kiddie ryte ta hell.
Bud cawse dey reeds filosofies
dey knoes dat hel kanknots bee,
so Donkees wil bee satysfied
ta keeps da kats frum paradyse,
cawse dat is wer dee Donkees goe
wen dey leeves dis heer beloe.
Dey lykes ta reed dat guie Neetchee
woo went mad wen hee saw horsee
beein beetin onn da street
an got wrapt ups in wet sheets
in dat howse wer crazies livs
an shuld bee hoam fer politiks.
And sumthymes dey reely lykes ta rants
lyke dat ole guie Manny Kants
hoo rotes in Germans langwage soe
onlee German Donkees knoe
wat hee sed, an wer, an wie,
unless dey gits a feeder guie
wat speeks dat Germans Donkee-ees
an translaytes id fer dees Donkees.
But Donkees lykes da wytchkrafts best
an folows kats ta tries ta tests
ifs der majiks spels is werkin
soes kats noe longer kin bee smirkin.


Dees heer Donkees eetin logs
libs peecefuly wit bugs an frogs
an awl udder thyngs dey see
cepts bads dawgs an kyotees.
Wyle dey eets dey thynks abowts
awll dem Gods wat screems an showts
an awll da thyngs wat peeples heer
dat maykes um fylled ups wid feer.
Wen dose men Gods kums arowns
mens kylls eech udder, eevin clowns,
an den id aints gnoe phun ta bee
onn dis ert wit yoo an mee.
Donkees knoes wat peeples shud dat dey culd mayke dose Gods bee gud
ifs dey mayde dem Donkee gerls
wat has nyce eiyes an tales dat kerl.
Den werld cud bee a betters playce
cawse awll Gods wood has Donkees face
an big eers an whyte noases
dat terns owr weeds inta roses,
an noe wons wood goes off ta war
cawse dats knots wat dis lifes iz for.
Libben heer is eetin logs an gras,
an den saein, Mmmm - a nyce ass
iz runnin thyngs frum wae ups hie,
an cawses dat ole feeder guie
ta gets up ebbry singles morn
an bryng dees Donkees otes an korn.
Sose ifs yoo wants ta libs in peece
Donkees Gods is wats yoo needs.

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 29

Heers weer bie the gayte agins,
aints bin der synce doan knoe wens,
wid owr noases an owr eers
wyle thrue da metal bars wee peers,
lookins at dat feeder guie
overs der, an wundrin wie
dis heer gayte iz paynted bloo
wen anuther culer culd doo.
Maybee feeder guie has skeems
ob farm culers inn is dreems,
an goes tue da hardware stor
ta bies sum paynt an paynts sum mor
thyngs arown da Donks doamaynes
so awl dee culers looks da sayme.
Bloo berdhowses an bloo sheds,
an bloo chickins wid bloo dreds
woo dance dat ole Jamaykins stomp
wyle we Donkees kixks an romps.
Bud barnes is red and tins roof tue,
an goes reel wel wid culer bloo,
soe wen awl peeples kums ta see
da Donkees lifes dey wil bee
big imprest ans inns awes,
an kanknots evir sae pshaw,
cawse dey wil bee reel mytey
jelous ob dis farm dey see
wer Donkees libs jus lyke grate kyngs
an never hasta doo a thyngs
bud looks reel gud for awl dose foaks
woo looks ats us beefor dey croaks,
an ses dis farms looks mytey nyce
awl paynted fer doas Donkees lifes.


Donkees thynks its bad dis kat
iz sneekins ups lyke dey iz rats
wen dey knoes der twyse as biggs
as biggest rats an eevin piggs
wat downs in Texass has goans wyld
an wans ta eets der wackoes chylds.
Soe inn der martch dey hesytaytes
an lets kats pas wyle dey waytes
fer feeder guie ta doo is job
an bryngs dem korn wats off da cobb,
an maebees sum bananana tue,
or maybee pye wats cordon bleu,
cawse awl dis stufs has better taystes
den ole logs wat goes ta waystes
until dees Donkees gits ta choo
dat rottin wud an eets buggs tue
wat libs insydes decaeing stufs,
an maykes der Donkee cotes reel buffs.
Soe as dey paws alongs da wae
dey hopes dat der wil cums a dae
wen dees kats wil dysapeers
wyle Donkees givs a lowds Bronx cheers!

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Page 30

Donkees ses Da kat iz phlat!
Wee didents doo that!
But iffs wee thynks its throo,
itz sumthyn weed lyke tue!
Kiddie ses I lykes dis space,
gittin inn der Donkees fayce.
Ids fer sher phuns ta hang arown
inn dis heer wooly Donkee town!
Sumthymes dat jus da wae id iz ebbrybodee mynds der biz,
an awl da werld seems ats peece
excepts in Creets an in Grease
wer lottsa munny useta floes,
bud now, doan knoe wer id goes.
O wells, dat jus how id werks
wen dee werld is runs bie jerks!
Bud bak heers onn dis farm
awlls swell, der iz noe harms,
watchin Donkees wit der charms.


Donkees owtsydes inn da rayne
thynks dees soggies otes sa payne
an stans der lookins ad der playte
wat myte dryes ups iffs dey wayte.
Id doan seems ryte dey gotsta eets
dis soppy mess innsteds ob treets,
soe dey wyl scowls ats feeder guie
an asks hims iffs hee kin trie
ta maykes dat skies terns bloo agins
an stops dis raynes wat aints der fren,
an gibs ems a noo playtes ob fude
dey kan eets an knots bee rood,
cawse, god knoes, dis sloppin mes
aints wats Donkees lykes da best.
Donkees thynks del taykes a chanse
dat fude is beter ovur inn France,
wer otes an korns staes hie an drie
an goremay treets aint lyke potpye
soke-inns wets ans runnie tue
lyke dis mornins gummy stoo.
Beeesyde, ses Donkees hapyly,
Fance iz wer dose laydees bee
wat wares short skerts an duz dat danse
dat maykes dose mens taykes off der pants.
Donkees thynks sumthymes del goe
an sees iffs wat dey ses is soe,
cawse sumthymes Donkees lykes ta tayke
nyce vaycayshuns owtta staytes,
an dance a liddle kan-kans tue
fer dees fokes lyke mee an yoo.

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Donkees awlays seems reel bizzy
standin rowns, knot lookins dizzy.
Bie da berdhowse now dey waytes
thynkyns dat itz reely grates
tue bee frends tue cowz an berds
an hangs owts widdem lykes hurds,
cawse Donkees knoes jus howse ta bee
cowz an berds symbioticallee.
An Donkees reds howse Aleeyns
reeversed engeeneered awl da mens
wat thynks der mayde bie deezyne
jus lykes Inellygent's behynds.
Bud dose men doan iver goe
hangs owt wit cows an berds lyke soe
menny menny Donkees doo,
studeeyns lifes til lifes arr throo.
See, Donkees knoes dis lifes is gud
as dey wanders true da wood
livvins lyke doas kings ob olds
abouds witch der storees tolds
howse Aleeyns maydes deescents
an mayde dees mans hoor arr hellbents,
cawse dey kants share dis life ob ease
wit cowz and berds an sweets Donkees.


Dis heer Donkee hads ta sae
poymer guie hads reel badd dae.
Firs iz kar hads noe baterree
an den iz puter wents ta sea.
Hee didents thynks hee wood servyves
awl throo dis dae ans stae alyves,
bud dat iz onlee cawse hees jus
a krazy guie wat channels us.
Bud in dis piksher iye winks an shoas
mie lubby eers an lubbly noas,
soe hee kin feels reel guds sum moors
an tawlk abouds gudes Donkee lores.
For ebbrywer inn dis hole werl
peeples luvs a Donkee gerl,
speshlee wen shee looks soe gud
maykin iyes innda woods
ats dat ole poymer guie
hoo now feels gud an doan kry.
Ans onns dee topps ob Donkees hed
iz a tops-knot -- knot Rasta dreds -dat ownlee pritty Donkees ware
ta mayke bouy Donkees stopps an stayrs,
an maybee poymer guie wils tue,
an den noe mors hee wils feel bloo.


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Page 32

Kat ses iyell sneeks throo da gayte
wyle Donkees eets an den iyel wayte
ta pownce onn dem wit bigg sapryse
dat maykes dems hafs ta roals der iyes,
wyle wunderins iffs ids reely troo
dat kiddy kats eets Donkees tue.
Bud Donkees eets wifowts a kayr
an has dis waes ob standins dare
jus rytes soas awl dose peeple see
da Donkees natchrals semetrees
alyned wit shed an gayte soe purrfektlee,
an dat barns wif roofs ob tinn
wat dees Donks lykes tue libs inn.
Ebbrythyngs heer iz geeometrees,
da lands ob Donks in harmoanees,
an maykes awl peeples wanna goe
ta West Verginee an libs soe
peecefulees an pastoralls
lyke dees tue Donkees an der pals,
wit feeders guie an feeders gals.
Cawse now dat awll der werld is green
itz iz da best werld ebber scene.
Soe feeder guie bests maykes sum room
cawse awll of us iz kummins soons!


Inns werld warz tue deez Donkees eers
wood maykes da fashysts hab reel feers
an den badd guies wood lose aplombs
wen Donkees flew an drops sum bombs,
cawse Donkee gotts dem flyin eers
lykes Dumboes hads awll dem yeers
longs ago wens wee wer kidds
an dyds doas thyngs wat awll kyds dyds.
Weer glads itz styl aintz werld wars tue
cawse den dis Donk woods ses ta yoo,
I bins drafteds an hasta goes
cawse iye gotts eers rouns wich ayre floes,
an gibs mee lottsa reels gude lifts
soes iye kins flie lykes chimmnees swifts
obbers awl dose eebil guies
wat fobs dat dungs an kow pyes
wit der eevyls badds inntents
ta rools dis werld wid gubberments
wat duzzents treets us berry nyce
an maykes us hast ta thynks twyce
abouds dis presents mess weer inns
ware fashists seams ta kums agins.
Bud dat waz den, an dis iz nowse,
an maybees ids wants bee sumhowse
dat Donkees hast ta flie ta warrs,
cawse dat aynts wats Donkees iz forr!
Meenthymes weel jus stans an eets
awll dees gud thyngs wat iz treets,
ans praktyss owr geeometrees
soe awl der internets kin sea
how Donkees maykes dis werlds reel nyce,
speshully wens you kownts dem twyce,
an eevins doe won doan have a hed,
bee glads dees Donkees isents ded,
an daily kums ta visits yoo
insteds ob ternnins inta gloo.

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Page 33

Donkees ses wee staes upps layte
sose peeples, yools jus hasta waytes,
bud kiddie ses dis iz mie chanse
ta sneeks upps onns der fud panns.
Wat kat doan knoe iz nuthins der
noe otes, noe korns, noe kity fare.
Itz sher noe wunder ats its aege
dis straynge blak kats nayme iz rayge,
cawse Donks dunn lefts noe fuds ta steel,
an kats aints gonna gits free meel.
Beesydes, sumthymes dis kat gits throws
innta freezins banks ob snoe,
witch fer sher duz maykes its thynks
sum peeples iz der myssing lynks
fer treetins liddle kiddy so
ta drops itz innta banks ob snoe.
Bud nowse da kity iz intenze
an wunders ware dose Donkees wenz.
Maybees dey stil inns da barns,
orr inn da woods plae-ins frenge horns
wit dat awfulls Donkees braes
det dey doo mose ebbry daes.
Bud rytes nowse kat kans inspekts
dees empties panns dee Donks rejekts,
and layters wen der panns is fulls
dis kats wils kums an cawls dem muools.
Den Dokees wills gits berry madds
an sae dat dey iz nevver gladds
wen kidy kats kums arowns
ta bothers Donkees ob reenowns.


Donkees ses da raynes has stops
soas wee kums owts ta eets sum slopps
wat feeder guie has gybs tue us
wee lykes ta eets witowts a fuss.
An darns iffs dat ole kats doan kums
rytes wen weer arr eetin sums
korns an otes an hae an thyngs
wat maykes a Donkees stumaks syng.
Ids guds wee duzents hasta hydes
inn red barns wats darks innsydes.
Now awl de werlds peepulls kin sees
howse pritty iz dees reel Donkee
wen der knots hydins inn der stawl
wat iz der Donkees Tammany Hall,
ware Donks diskuss eetins weeds
wyle aktins lykes Ole boss Tweeds
hoo sayved a lottsa Irisht Donks
frum Taytoe famyns witch maykes dem conks
owts inn da grayzin wards
dat awll ritch farrmers kins afords
wen dey gits kikbaks brybes an thyngs
frum dat Bosses polytikal ryngs.
An wyles dees Donks is gittin fats
promoatins Donkee Demokrats,
heer kums kiddy tryins ta sneeks
ids kiddie kats blak fyzeeks
inn too dat inner serkle kwick
soas itz tue kin plae polotiks
an maebee gets a brybes orr tue
jus lyke Tammany Donkees doo.

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Page 34

Wyle dees lubbly Donkees eets
awl der mornin Donkee treets
der iz a tale tue bee told
abouds a kity wat iz bold
an awlays fynds a sneekin wae
ta gits in pikshur ebbry dae.
Tadae kats iz inn da barn
ta mayke da mowses kums ta harms,
bud kiddie ses itz jus a snak
det helps cleens offs awl dat plak
wat bilds upps on claus an toofs
lyke dat mudds onns Donkees hoofs.
Wyle dey eets dees Donkees heer
dat kat sneekin wit der eers
wat is biggs an reely longs
an iz knots shur bouds baggpypes songs
dat Irisht guie cayme ta plae
tue Donkees ons a sunknees dae,
an mayde dees Donks wunder iffs
hee mieta kums frums Cardiffs
innsteds ob ware dose tatoes groes
wat starved dose por Irisht soe.
Bud now der iz noe baggs wat skweels
jus lykes a strangles congo eel,
an soe dey eets reel peecefullies
wyle dis kat da sean does steel
wit bigg tales wae upps in ayre
as iffs ta sae, Iye doans kare
wat dose sily Donkees doo
cawse itz awl jus bigs ballyhoo!


Donkee ses I gits reel cloas
ta feeder guie wit my noas,
affters witch, bie an bie,
I gibs im dee Donkee iye.
See, Donkees awlays lykes ta looks
at dees mens lyke reedin books,
wat tells a storee dat iz grans
aboud da lifes ob ebbrymans.
Den Donkees taykes dat storee bak
ta tels berds an kows an maybee kats
abouds howse mans iz maydes ta wayte
bie God ta feeds us atts bloo gayte.
Innstelygents Deesyner sed
feed dem Donkees tils yer ded,
or wens you gits ta perly gaytes
God maykes yoo stans an waytes
lyke Donkees doo moas ebbry morn
ta gits der otes an hae an korn.
See, Donkees has dyrekts konnekshuns
tue dem gods an gits dyrekshuns
sent frum spayce soe dey kin heers
gods commans wit Donkee eers.
Den dey awlays knoes wats besst
fer sheeps an mans an awll da rest
ob annimuls innda werld
protekted bie dees pritty gerls.
Soe wens yoo goes upps tue da farms
ta see dose pritty Donkee charms,
reemembers dat dey arr da wons
hoo gnoes jus howse ta speek inn tungs
an translaytes awlmoas ebbry dae
zacktlee wat dee gods sae
bie gibben us dee grate biggs iye
an brayins dats wee awll doan dye
frum stoopids thyngs dat mans doo
cawse dey kants heer Donks gods tue.

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Page 35

Pico musta obberslepts
an nowse iz russian inn er stepps
ta gits rytes tue er feedins panns
wats bin fylled bie feeders manns
wit der mornins brekfass treets.
Inn da syties, onn der streets
Donkees doonots gits ta eets
awll guds thyngs lykes onn da farms
ware Donkees nevir kums ta harm
an gits ta struts da hoal dae throo
wi der charms fer mee an yoo.
An Pico ses hees glads iz noas
awlays shows ware Donkee goas,
cawse den wee sees er inna dark
jus lykes a lyte wat dunn spark
soe wens wee taykes a pops kwiz
weel gnoe jus ware dees Donkees iz,
an lytes da wae fer us ta see
how wunnerfulls iz awll Donkees.


Uh-ohs, heer wee goes orange kat is bak
an iz abouds ta attak.
Or iz itz dee Donkee
abouds ta kik kiddy?
Donkees ses dis aints gud
dat kat iz gittin neers der fude.
Bud dey wundrins wat ta doo
wen da kats kums wandrins throo.
See, Donkees iz mosely pasyfists,
an beeleeves dey shood reesysts
no matters howse da kity bee.
Bud ifs dis kidy was a bugg-laydee
dey woods eets itz eemeedee-ate-lee!
Or ifs its waz a peece ob wood
dey wood choos itz awl dey cud.
Donkees duznets thynks dey lykes
mouths fuls ob fer wen dey bytes,
an soe mus fynds annuder plan
ta gits rids of kats wyle dey kan.
Nowse maybee, we bess leeves dees three,
an lets dem werks it owts soase dat wee
kan kumms baks anudder dae an sea
ifs Donks an kats libs inns harmoanies.

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Page 36

Donkees inns da dapples morns parts ob dem iz bee reborns,
udder parts iz lykes dey wuz,
wat Donkees iz, Donkees duz.
Donkees sae Wee lykes da spots
wats rtes nowse iz wats wee gotts.
Spots ob darks an spots ob lyte
dat wee hoaps aints chestnutts byte
wats kills awll dem chessnutts trees,
an hoaps dat it doan kils Donkees.
Iffs wee maykes its owta wudes
an gits ware da eetins gudes,
den weel knoes it aints da blyte -weel sleeps gud inn barns tanyte.
Bud iff wee stops alongs da trayle
an starts ta brae an starts ta wale,
den yool gnoe dat we iz sik
an bedders gits a dokkters kwik.
Cawse dokkters knoes jus wats ta doo
wen dees Donkees gotts ah floo,
an iffs ids werse an iz da paygue
dat dapples Donkees onn baks an leggs,
an maykes spots lykes Eester eggs,
den Dokter wyll gibs dem sum gud stuf
wat maykes em beter, sher enuffs.
Meen whyles weels jus shuffles bie,
tryins ta fynd dat feeder guie
hoos awlays owts der taykin piks
an hoapins Donkees issnts siks.
Bud maybees wee jus bins transports
frums owters spayce an maydes disstorts,
cawse mollykwules gotts awll mix upps
an leffs us spotteds lykes sum pupps
wats borns reel kwutes fer ta sea
bud layter bekums a kyotee
dat wee mus kiks wen wee kans
an sayves da sheeps fer da manns.
Bud wee hoaps itz izents soe
an awll dis dapples awaes wil goe
soe Donkees doan looks soe straynge
lyke dey has dis spotteds maynge.


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Page 37

Donkees maykes a pritty pare,
eetins fudes, standins der,
krossin heds soes wee kin see
Donkees inns geeomytrees
dooin wat gud Donkees shood
beefors dey goes bak inn da woods
ta eet sum buggs an choos sum loggs,
bud hoaps dey doan chuse sum froggs.
An frums a dystense blak kat stairs
at dees Donkees unnsawares
dat kat has sneeked upps agins
an spyies ids spyinns iyes onn dems.
Da wae dis kat sneeks ebbry dae
wee thynks it werks fer See-iye-ae,
or maybees fer dat En-ess-ae,
spie-inns onn Donkees inn da wae
wat gubbermints tells kats ta doo
inn kase Donks tryes ta maykes bombs tue.
Cawse gubbermints iz awlls afrayds
dat Donks wils ryse upps sum daes
an tryes ta taykes obber da stayte
wer dung-fobbers gits paes ta wayte
arowns an tawks allots
aboud dem kik-baks wats dey gotts
bie beeins lecteds to kongress
ware dey doans hast ta bee honesst.
Bud Donkees ses wee aints lyke dat -dee terrerwrists iz da kats
wats awlays owt heer sneeks rowns
inn da Donkees paraydes growns,
an maykes uz Donkees gits ubsetts
dat kats wud akks lykes weer a thret
tue dis nayshun an dis farm
wat nevvir dun noe wons noe harms
eggcepts tue dat ole kyotees
wat iz jus lykes doas eelektees
upp der onns Kapitals Hil
ware awl crooks goe ta trye ta shill
der snayke oiwls tue Amerikins
wat stoopidlees has voytes dem inn.
Now Donkees sae dats iz enuffs
ob gubbermints sneekie stuf,
an eets der gud fudes owts ob pans
witch kats kants doo, bud Donkees kan.


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Page 38

Donkees awlsmoas ass ta ass
eetins fudes onn der gras,
kidy sneekins troo da dae
onn da growns mayde browns bie hae.
Donkees hass antannie eers
soe wyle dey eets dey kin heers
iffs dat kats kums der wae
ta akks jus lykes Morgans le fay
an kasts ans awfuls eevils spel
wat maykes Donks knots feels soe wel.
See, Donks iz frens wit Kyngs Arrthers
hoo sayves Ingglands frum eevils kurs,
jus lyke dees Donkees doo
kikinns kyotes an caynynes tue!
Blak katz ferr iz almoas bloo
lyke olds an moldies chees fondoo
wats leffs owts inn sunns tue longgs
an noewons eets cept mao zeedong
hoo ykes sum thowsanns yeers oles eggs
wat Chineez eets wit dee froggs leggs,
cawse Chinees eets moas ebbrythyng
dat wawks or crawls orr has wyngs,
an dat iz hows dey servyves
an keeps milyuns peeples alyves.
Donkees ses wee gnoes itz troo,
an kats woods eets dose blak eggs tue,
cawse dem kats iz reely straynge
an jus a liddle bits deraynge,
an eets allotts ob stufs, itz troo,
dat pritty Donks nivvers woods doo!


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Page 39

Donkees iz sum reel beootees
libbin onns dis farms fer free
an deys gladds dat feeder guie
werks reel hards ta gits bie.
An wens hee kums rowns dey shows
im dis reel gudes Donkee noas
wat iz wyte an lytes da wae
fer dees Donkees ebbry dae.
Donkees has a pyles ob styks
dey kin eets lykes fysh an chyps,
jus lykes Englysht Donkees doo
wen dey gotts noe styks ta choo.
An inn da pyle der iz sum buggs
wat fer dees Donkees iz lykes druggs
dat maykes em feels awl gud an stuf
lyke proezaks duz onn mens wats rufs.
Dey sae itz reely maykes corral
seams lykes itz iz dat pasteral
wats dat Ludee Beethoaven wroat
wyle hee waz watchins herds ob gotes
wandrins awll arowns dee passtcher
waytins fer dat Billy raptcher
dat awll gotes knoes wil kums
wen gotes ayngils beets dose drumms
an dee hebbens oppins upps
ta servs eelickzers frum Dixee cupps
Inntelygents Deezyners awlays keaps
onn hands ta maykes annimuls sleaps
beefors hee taykes em innta skye
wer dey waykes an wunders wie
dey arrents styls downs der onn da grown
ware lottsa green gras kin bee fowns,
cawse hebbens jus maydes owt ob clowds
anns gittins fills wit turists crowds
wat thyks da rapcher iz reel grate,
an soe drynks cool-ayde knots ta wate
tils itz pass bie ans iz tue layte.
Soe Donkees thynks dey wils knots goe
wit doas gotes ebben doe
bily gotes doans meens noe harms
butt inn dat raptcher, bowt da farms.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 40

Donkees ses dat katz tue cloas
fer poymers guies polleefoniks proas,
an haz a tayles lykes raydeeayter hoas,
anns dose iyes wats inn darks gloes,
ann kumms a sneekins unner owr noas
lyke badd banks tryinns tue forrcloas.
Bud Donkees ses wee doans werry,
an wee eets witsowt a herry,
inns dees soots wats iz reel ferry,
speshlees wens wee bin kurried
an looks lykes Donks wats puls dat serry
wit frynge onn topps tue semmetery.
Dat iz wer da peeples lyes
wens dey gits bigg phats serpryze
an seas dem spots beefor der iyes
cawsed bie eetins grees french fryes,
ann der Herr Dokktor duz immplys
soons dey wills bee inns demize,
cawse Murkureez inns retrograydes
ann messes upps der meddykaydes,
ann den der tempercher eskalaydes
ann eevins drynkins lemunaydes
goes offs da scayles ob sentigrades
soe dey hav dyin eskapaydes.
Nowse Donkees sae dis aints soe guds
ann peeples doan libs lykes det shoods.
Iff dey dyds - ids unnerstoods -daid libs mutch longers chooins wood,
lyke dat ole guie Robbins Hood
hoo ritch peeples misunnerstoods.
Dis bryngs uss baks tue dis kat -id struts arowns witowts topps hat
an thynks abouds a dish ob sprats
wat itz kans eets wit moals and rats.
Donkees ses itts wils gits phats
lyke Suemoe guies onns restlyns matts,
hoo eeats a lotts ob reel fats stuf
an den goes owts inn da bufs
and shaykes der botums lykes creem puffs
dats awl fills wids marshsmellow phluffs.
Now Donkees ses Strayngelee eenuff,
dis poym muss ends - ids tue reely off dee kuphs.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 41

Da wae dees Donkees poas id seams
dey is hass siekydeliks dreems,
da kynds dat kums onns reels soons
affters eetins dem gud shrooms
wat groes owts inn dee pastcher
ann bryngs onns dat Donkee rappcher.
See, Donkees ses wee red da book
abouds wats Castaneda tuke-id waz dat kaktus cawlls pae-oe-tee
wat maykes em tawks tue ky-oe-tees,
anns its doan reely tayste soe gud,
lyke dose shrooms or chewins wood.
Donkees doans needs ta taykes noe druggs
cawse dey gits hie jus chooins buggs,
bud doas shrooms iz a treets
an groes downs loe, bie der feets.
Bud Donkees iz awlredy Shaymins
ann kans terns innta kaemans,
witch iz knots sumthyns dat dey doo
caws itz skares mee an yoo
tue sea Donkees krawls lykes gayters
serchins fer dem sweets pahtayters
dat dey lykes ta eets fer lunch
wit wyldeebeests dat dey munch.
Soe iffs yoo starts hawlooseenates
ders gud chanse dat yoo ayte
eeder shrooms orrs pae-oe-tees,
an myghts terns inns tue Donkees.
Ann iffs dis duz happens tue yoo,
wee hoaps you kins brake onns throo
tue wats onns der udder syde
wares awl anymuls spyryts hydes
til sum udder shaymenns kums
ta shoaz yoo witch wons yoo beekums.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 42

Dis iz bouds dat Donkee bloos -bloo karrs, bloo shedds, bloos swayd shooz -det dat guie wit sydeberns sangs
bak innda dae wen sturm und drang
wuz wat wee gayves tue arr perrnets
hoo seds wee wuz awll reely errents
cawse wee woar dukstayles an jeens
ann hungs owts atts derry kweens
tryinns ta ackts reel reel kool
ann knots bee ennybodees fool,
jus lyke dat guie wat shayked dem hypps
an sangs doas songs wit snarrlee lipps,
ann maydes da gerls awlls goes krayzee,
wat ole fowlks sed wuz tue raycee
fer dees chylldrens wats soe yung
cawse dis moosiks iz dee Debbil's tung!
Nowz Donkees saes dat thymes iz passt
ans az iye stans heer innda gras,
iye kinns heers dats Ellvys guie
hooz moosiks wils knots evirs dye,
syngyns awll dem reel bloo toons
abouds bloo shooes and bloo moons,
ann wen iyes dooz dat jytters buggs
peeples wil saes dees Donks kutts sum ruggs,
beekawse dey knoe dat itz troo
Donkees gots rythyms throo an throo.
See, Donkees gotts sum speshul eers,
an awl doas ole songs dey kin heers
dat maykes ole peeples wanna wisht
daes knots groes upps ann styls kuld swish
lyke dey dids wens dey wer yungs
ann maydes der parrents gits hie-strung,
plae-ins awl dat bloos an stufs
wat maydes em kries owts dats enuffs.
Bud abouds Ellvis, Donkee sed heez ownlee sleepin, hee arrs knot ded!


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 43

Donkees ses dat feeder guie
has gotts biggs hed, wee doan knoe wie.
Maebee Inntellygents Deesyner
maydes misstayke,
ann kudentz maykes hym enny fyner
cawse godz wuz onn kofee brayke
ann didents pae attenshuns.
Ob korse, dat gud book fergits ta menshuns
dat sumthymes Godz doan gits itz ryte,
an dat maykes Donks knot sleeps att nytes,
as dey staes awaykes ponderinns an thynkins
howse dat bigg hed gotts intue dis piktshur
an stoals da scean
wat maykes awll dem peeples dreem
ob Donkees ebbry nyte.
Ann soes yoo knoes jus hows id goes,
Donkees ses itz izzents ryte!

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 44

Dis Donkees haz allots ta sae
ta feeder guie on dis dae,
butts wee doan knoe wat dat guie sed
dat maydes dis Donkee terns er hed
an kerls er lyps lykes Ellvyss Prest
hoo Donkees sae dat dey lykes best
wens hee iz onns da raydeeo
kroonins lub songgs swetes an sloe.
Or maebees sheez jus looks at hyms
an iz fayce jus maykes er gryns.
Or maebees hes jus toals er joak
ann shee thynks ees phunny bloak
kummins rowns ta maykes er laffs
orr kawlins err a geraffs,
witch shee knoes izzents troo
cawse shee aints libbins inn da zoo.
Or maybees shees jus wannas tawks
boud wat shee thynks wens shee waks
upps an down dat ole trayle
ta gits tue Donkees feedins payle.
Orr maybees shee jus aints kontents
wit feeder guie hoo paes da rents,
an thynks dat hee shud gibs dem mor
ob dat gud foods der lookins forr.
Or maybees shee jus wants ta shoa
dose Donkees teefs dat choos reel sloe
onns rottins logs an buggs an thyngs
dat tayse soe gud maykes Donkees syng
aboud dis grate lyfes onn da farm
wer Donkees nevvir kums ta harms,
eebins doe lektricytees
styngs der noas wers dan dose beaz.
Orr maybees awll shee wannas sae wee lykes yoo looks atts us eech dae,
an thoe wee aints onn noe teevee
weer mutch beter dan Edds kud bee
cawse wee thynks fylosofee.
Soe wat evvirs Donkees doo
der iz wons thyngs dat iz troo -wens yoo kums wae downs heer Sowthful,
yool sher wil gits a Donkees mowthful.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 45

Donkees fronts ann Donkees reer -dees iz thyngs wee holds deer,
ann ids sed dat Donks doo tue
ann lykes ta maykes sum balleehoo
abouds dee rest dats innsbeetweens
dees heds ann tayles dat wee bee seans.
Sea, Donkees thynks ids awlaes bestt
iff yoo taykes myddle wit dee rest,
ann knots jus noase orr lubbly tayle,
doe dey iz boths lyke holey grayle
ann shynes bryte lytes inn da wood
lyke doas knytes wen dey wuz gude
ann wents owts ta maykes shivelree
ann sayves maydes drest inns phylagree.
Bud knytes hads trubbles wits amoor
cawse dey hads ware awll dats armoor,
ann maydes itz hards ta git unndunn
ann wit dose maydenns has summ phun
roallin inn da gras ann hae
lyke Donkees kin doo ebbry dae.
Soe dats wie Donkees lubs dee farms,
ware dey dysplae der Donkee charms,
ann knot jus bakendds ann dee fayce
bud awll da rest wat fyls inn dis spayce
gibben Donkees der nyce forms
dat maykes us feals awll hapy warms,
wen wee sea dem ebbry dae
shyninns inn der Donkee wae.


Donkees haz dees majiks treaz
ware dey goe ta rest der neez,
ann werks onn der majikks spels
wat kiddy kats kins reepell.
Dey libs inn majikks harmoanees
wit dee grassez ann dee treas,
ann haz dem seekrits hyde-awaes
ware dey kin goe atts endds ob daes.
Cawse dey haz scean dat moovy tue
ware endds ob daes iz kummin troo,
ann Sylvesters mus fytes eevyls
lyke honswerms ann ole bowl weebles.
Udderwyse dem farmers kropps
wud soon bee eetins ann gits pox
frum awll dem buggs wat kumms arowns
ann maykes dose por ole farmers frowns.
Donkees ses wits arr majikks
wee libs owt heer inn da skyks
ann koammuyoons wit naytchurs
ann annymuls wat iz nayburs.
Wee libs lykes weer inn pikchur books,
onn dis farms ware peeples looks
ebbry dae ann hoaps ta sea
sum reely majikkal Donkee.
Ann dat iz wie wee doans stae hidds
beehynes dat trea lyke dem ole skwids
wat hydes reel deeps inn da oeshun
eetin fysh wat maykes fysh moeshun.
Sea, Donkees knoes ann awfulls lotts
boud dis ole werld dat wee gotts
ta spends arr happee daes inn
wats pairadice ann witowts syn
iff wee treets dee plannets ryte,
ann goes ta majiks treas atts nyte.

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 46

Dis iz watz dem Donkees lykes -buggs ta eets, dae ann nytes!
Donkees ses ids iz arr plann
ta eets deez buggs ann soe sayves man
kynds frum beeinns obber-runns
bie taystee Laedee Buggs wat kumms
juss inn thymes fer us ta eet
dis gud Laedee Buggzee treet!
Wee thangs Naytecher gibben uz buggs
wat syts owtsydes, knot unner ruggs,
soe wee doan hasta werks reel hard
ta eet awlll buggs wats inn da yards.
Ann maebee weel maykes bygg buggs stoo
ann gibs sum ta feeder gerl ann guie tue!


Donkees lykes ta eets drie hae
onn a koldds wynterz dae,
ann day lykes ta stiks dare noas
inn dis hae wat ayntz froaz.
Ann day lykes summ byts ob sunn
wat kin maykes snoez kumms unndunns.
Ann day lyke dat feeder guie
hoo gibbs dem hae ann owts ann pye.
Day reely lykes dats feederz gerl
kawse sheez da nysesest inn da werld,
ann iz faymuss inn da lannds
fer synginns songgs lykes noewons kann.
Ann day lyke dah farmerz dawter
hoo kumms baks hoam wen sheez otter,
ann taykes pikchers fer ta show
hur droppins kiddie inn da snoe.
Soe day sae wynterrs knots badd
bud wen ids obber wee arr gladd,
kawse summerztymze iz a treet
ann fylls wit buggs wat wee kin eet.
Meenwyles weel libs inn barnz ann trea
ann show upps monninns soe yoo sea
howse wee libbs witowts gits skynnie
wae owts heer inn Wes Vergynnie!

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 47

Donkees ses wee doan knoe
iffs ids kolds orr subbszeeroe,
bud dare iz won thyngs fer sher
wee reely neads sum lotts mor fer,
kawse eebin doe idz reelt thyk
dare fer sher ayntz enuffs ob itz!
Nowse feeder gerl ann fedder guie
doan sleaps inn barnz, ann wee knoe wie -ids reely freazinns inn da werld
ann id woods maykes dare hare kerl!
Dey lykes ids bess ryte bie da stoav
ann leeve por Donkees heer ta roaves
frum dis barnz ta majiks treaz
soe ebbry nytes wee doan freaz.
Bud styl wee gess wee woants komplayne
det dis ole wynter iz innsayne
ann maykes por peeples ebbryware
wysh dat day hadz Donkees hare.
Ann wee thynks ids awfulls nyce
guie choppz a hoal inn dat iyce,
kawse now wee duzzents hasta thynks
howse da hells ta gitt a drynks
ob kold wawter det wee nead
ta wash downs dis gud ole grayne sead.
Ann hee gibbed uss gude drie hae
wat helpz uss keap hungrees aewae.
Soe wee gess lifes knots soe badds,
ann weer reely awfulls gladds
dat weer libbin onn dis farmz
ware peeples kares ann doo noe harms
ta anymulls or Donkee
hoo nebber werks ann libbs fer frea.

Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 48

Donkees leeves dare majiks trea
onns dis mornns soe day kin sea
wats innz dare gud ole brekfass panns
browt to dems bie dat feeder manns.
Inn dare trea day hadds proefownds
thowts boud howse werld goes rownns,
ann jus wat maykes Naytecher tik
ezz id maykes summ peeples sik
wid dat playge ann dat floo
wat wee hoaps yoo doans gits tue.
Donkees sea idz iz beekawse
ob badd menns ann kiddee klaws
wat tares por ynnocents aparts
lyke Assteks dyds wit doas harts
day kutts frum dem wat volunnteered
fer sakreefyce --ayn't dat weerd?
Kawse hoo woods reely wants ta goe
upps piramidds stepps reely sloe
ta gits demselfs awll chopps upps
ann haz dare lifes awll dysruppts
wen dare hed goes downz da stares
witowts da bodee wat id wares.
Bud dats enuffs ob awfulls stufs weed radder thynks bouts frily kuffs
wat wee kud ware
ober owr gud Donkee hare
wen wee goes owts frum majiks trea
fer awl dem innernetts ta sea.
Ann weer reel gladds wee ayntz Asstek,
ann duzzents hass ta praktyce
louzinns harts dat iz soe drastyks.
We lykes ids beter tue stae holes
feadinns poymer guie dis hieperbowls.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 49

Ooo -- Donkees ses dis iz gude -a weelzberow fuls ob wood!
Affers wee fynish panns
wee eets itz -- awll wee kann.
Wee gnoe det dat feeder guie
berns dis wood soe hee kin frie
ann stae warmms inn is howse
ware kats sleap ann katch mowse.
Bud wen hee gotts iz bak iz terns
weel eet ids soe hee kants bernz
wat fer uzz iz reely treets
lef heer jus fer us ta eets.
Bud iffs wee eets id awll heel freaze
ann be shibberinns inn iz neez,
kawse hee doan haz noe ferry soot
wat gits reel thyk ann looks kuoot
lyke Donkees doo inn wynner thymes
ezz dare maykinns upps gude rimes
ann thynkinns bouds eetin mor
ob dis wood wat hee dunn stor
inna shedds ta keap ids drie
soe wee Donkees wyl knots krie
det dare iz noe woods ta choo
til dat spryng kumms roallins throo.


Donkee Poetree by Lee McCormack

Page 50

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