Sad Developer Diaries Stories from the SCRUM .pdf
Original filename: Sad Developer Diaries - Stories from the SCRUM.pdf
Title: Sad Developer Diaries Stories from the SCRUM
Author: Svetlozar Argirov
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Stories From the SCRUM
Any resemblance or
difference to actual
events or persons is
We are going to use SCRUM in our project from now on. I have no idea what it
means, but sounds a lot like scram, scam and scum. Neither or which sounds
I hope we won’t all get ﬁred or forced to cooperate in fraudulent activities.
Today the Product Owner introduced a ticket for a new feature. The story is
written in a tree like structure with several subtasks and substories per level, and
is approximately 5 levels deep.
I asked if am I supposed to read the story in depth ﬁrst or breadth ﬁrst fashion.
He said that the feature should be green.
I suppose I should go search for some green paint.
I wonder should I tell him that I am color blind?
Yesterday while rating a ticket I got distracted, and didn’t understand what the
ticket was about so I gave very high rating. After it turned out it’s a simple change,
instead of backing down I bluffed and called out the lower rating. One more hour
of heated discussion and we ended up with rating 20 for adding a translation
I like the rating system, it’s almost like poker but instead of losing money you win
I was very excited about the today’s retro meeting since it was my ﬁrst one. I was
expecting chocolate cake, soft music from the 90s and sharing memories about
the good old times.
Turned out it was a regular meeting where everybody complained about random
I complained about the lack of chocolate cake and music.
I hope I get them next time.
During reﬁnement today, we were reﬁning an old ticket. This is the 12th time we
are reﬁning this ticket and it still is not good enough.
I wonder whether the ticket is being reﬁned so we accept it or we are being
reﬁned until we accept it.
I guess it’s a bit of both.
Our dearest SCRUM master is out of ofﬁce today and I miss him. After the
standup I was thinking about what are we without our dearest SCRUM master?
Are we mere SCRUM slaves?
I am sad.
We had retro meeting again today. I was ﬁrst this time, so I asked why is it called
retro when there is nothing retro about it. It turned out that it’s not retro but
Out of curiosity then I asked if there is a such thing as retro of retros, and after
some discussion the meeting turned into retro of retros instead of the regular
I should have asked about the chocolate cake.
I think I am starting to get a grasp on SCRUM. Three weeks ago Product Owner
asked for some small change that doesn’t ﬁt out regular workﬂow.
I told him that there is no process deﬁned for it, so we agreed we should ﬁrst
deﬁne a process before implementing the change.
We tried to make a meeting about it several times, but it’s hard to ﬁnd matching
I think 1 more week and he will completely forget about it.
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