My Story serving Goddess Taylor .pdf
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Meet Stephen, at the time had just turned
34 had been involved within financial
domination for the previous 4 years.
Flakey, unloyal, ghosting, never able to
settle, Stephen was probably one of the
worst fetishists going. Willing to pay to a
point then when things started getting
serious would run away from it, to just
come crawling back. As of beginning
January 18 Stephen had served and been
owned fully by 5 Dommes, these never
lasted any longer than 3 months. Full reasons for this will not
be discussed here but a combination of boredom and fear of
commitment will suffice for now.
Between these periods of being relatively settled were the off
and on times of sessions with various Dommes, one off
sessions on kik or Skype feigning desire to be owned. When
retweet games were a new fancy even getting scared and
running away from paying for them. I distance myself fully
from the ‘creature’ I was at that point, fighting within myself
for what I actually was. I never appreciated Dommes were
people and never treat them as such deeply ashamed of who
I was, fighting the weakness within. For the previous few
months I, Stephen was attending a group therapy session
within a church in my home city, these sessions helped to an
extent but lying alone in the darkness even with other people
at home the weakness was always there. Always fighting
until the day perfection arrived into my life.
I feel like it’s super important to point this out as the further I
go on without an explanation some people can be appalled
by what happens, without fully knowing everything that goes
on. It’s very easy to assume from the outside that what goes
on is abusive, being blocked and being made to pay to be
unblocked. Fully exposing Facebook posts, it all looks too
The relationship Goddess and I have built up is extremely
important here, sure I’m willing to do absolutely anything for
her and I have done. But I’m in a place where literally no one
knows me and if I’m seen walking down a street wearing a
small leather skirt and thigh high
boots, people will probably be
disgusted, but they can’t tell anyone
who knows me at home.
If I walked around my home village
someone would see, they’d say
something to parents then boom game
over. Having no limits here is easier
but certainly not easy, I have a lot of
fun doing the things I do and I’m
proud of it but some of it is so so hard
to do but love for my Goddess drives
As far as social media posts go most of it is hidden or doesn’t
actually happen, but believe me when I say this, the manner
in which Goddess does these things is extremely believable
and I get extremely panicked. Ultimately I know I can trust
her with my life and she has never, ever betrayed it and our
sessions always push what was there before.
I felt like I needed to put something like this here, enjoy this
for what it is, my story, of my submission to the most
amazing Domme in the world.
“Please Goddess, can you check your emails…”
The very first time I messaged Goddess Taylor I was still
incredibly flakey, doing the usual time waster bullshit, trying
to make pointless conversation. The date was January 12th I
was waiting for some funds to land into
my account didn’t know much it would
and toyed with the idea of signing up to
her Onlyfans. I said I would set a poll
up whether I should sign up, of course
fishing for free attention hoping to get
some then sign up, this didn’t happen
and I didn’t sign up. Of course still
fishing I messaged later the same day
and was told ‘pay, or fuck off’ I had
wasted her time and she wasn’t gonna
waste any more.
The funds I was expecting arrived later that day and I sat on
it, watching, lurking on Goddess Taylor’s page. I hadn’t
known it at the time but Sunday, January 14th was the day
my whole life changed. I logged onto my amazon account
typed in her email address and sent £20. I messaged on
twitter and asked for her to check her email, 20mins passed
refreshing the gift card waiting for it to change from ‘sent’ to
‘redeemed’ that moment for me is like what a drug hit would
be like in my mind.
The text changed to ‘redeemed’ and barely a moment later a
twitter notification ‘good boy, you
decided to come through’ Goddess
explained that she was shopping and
wouldn’t be quite as active. We had a
conversation on the things I enjoyed
and as I knew already, Goddess is the
perfect match for me with what I desired in a woman.
Undeterred by the message she was preoccupied I sent
another gift card and another twitter DM suggesting to check
email. The message I wrote on the gift card the 2nd time?
Goddess relished the thought of this and knowing I was
willing to pay made the prospect of an impromptu session
more appealing for her. 2 further
smaller tributes were sent to take
the total at that point to £60 I
envisaged just sending £50 and that
would be that. A small conversation
was had about retweet games and
their uncertainty and a small one
was setup and promptly came to another £55. It was like a
seal was broken or a dam collapsing.
Because Goddess was shopping the prospect of purchasing
lingerie for her was discussed and more amounts by delivery
code were sent and I was teased throughout the rest of her
shopping trip of different bras being tried on. Ultimately
drained of £175 I sent far more than planned and enjoyed
much more than I expected. Goddess promised I’d see what I
paid for later that evening.
In my experience not all Dommes followed up on promises
and I was out with work friends later and I wasn’t sure one or
the other whether it would happen, but sure enough pictures
and short video clips were received and I was stunned by
what I was receiving her body was and is such perfection.
Without really thinking of how or
what the implications were I found
myself discussing chastity and
being owned. It felt right for me
and it felt right for Goddess,
though rightly so there was some
doubt about me on her part. I felt quite and secure and felt
able to discuss my past issues and the flakiness I exhibited
until this point.
Our discussions about my previous experiences spread into
my night with work colleagues a little forced intox was
discussed and we talked blackmail info and
full submission, it all felt so natural
nothing forced. Over the coming weeks we
discussed more in-depth plans for going
forward, ownership was happening
chastity was happening, Goddess was
going to order a cage and send to me. A
retweet game was played for how long I’d
be locked it was all set, it was going to
happen and it felt good.
As the time approached my all to familiar jitters started the
cage had arrived and Goddess had it in her perfectly
manicured hands, chosen with a slide in lock so it can’t be
sawed off. My nerves kicked in the doubts nagging away, I
explained this to Goddess and it was met with obvious anger,
she put time into me I gave more gift card codes effort was
made on both parts. Something in my brain said stop being a
pussy this feels right, I replied to Goddess with ‘fuck it, let’s
do it’ The cage was due to arrive on Feb 1st the day before
“it’s time for stupid baby bitch to lose some money…”
The beginning of the first full month serving a new Domme
feels very crucial and given how I’d eliminated a safety net I
knew quite well of an actual
padlock was nerve wracking.
The cage arrived a small
steel cage from house of
denial, one key with the cage
to slide the lock in and a
hand written note from
Goddess, to expose of the key
as soon as the cage is on. A part of me still wanting to cling
onto a safety net took the key to work with me in my pocket.
Whilst at work Goddess begun the teasing, the cage being
extremely small filled up very very quickly, that day was one
of the hottest work days of my life. Lunchtime a retweet
game was played, rinsed whilst having my lunch was a very
new experience. £68 and it felt effortless, I knew in my heart
this day Goddess was going to be an amazing experience no
matter how long I served for.
All through my shift messages and the occasional clip teasing
me, this is what I desperately wanted from chastity, yes I was
very nervous then but at the same time I felt very safe.
Finishing work Goddess begun discussing disposing of my
key as had agreed, however a survival instinct, for want of a
better word remained and I was
Then Goddess did what she has done
constantly since, coercion and teasing
the words she used will remain with me
forever ‘I thought you wanted to make
happy? Like a good boy’ I stepped
outside of my bus stop towards a drain
and as instructed filmed myself
throwing the key in the drain absolutely
without even thinking. ‘Guess who holds
the only key now?....’ at this point in her element, claws sunk
into my brain. Was ensnared, no longer Stephen, was
renamed Bianca and to be a sissy girl.
On the way home vulnerable, without the key to my cage, my
head spinning Goddess took full advantage and another
retweet game was played and the amount of £55 was paid. I
was caught hook, line and sinker, the rest of the evening and
all the next day at work in a complete daze over what
happened that day. Already fully convinced I made the best
decision of my life.
1 month in around 6 weeks and my very first triple digit
tribute to Goddess, not so much a session as being teased to
the point where I pay more than I thought to again. Another
retweet game, teased into increasing rates and the allotted
time, resulted in sending £102 in one go, my introduction to
capability in seducing me
so so evident, the
group sessions soon
became a thing of the past
and Goddess was fast becoming my therapist, my therapy
was being mindfucked and worshipping her quite perfect
The first little blip happened around a week or so later, a
Domme messaged to praise my new service and after a small
conversation Goddess became aware as she had took control
of my twitter, the punishment? Teasing the possibility of
throwing my key down the toilet, as the possibility of this
was very real I prepared myself for it to happen. As the
indiscretion was discussed so was permanent chastity, it was
almost Goddess’s birthday and 2 days later Valentine’s Day.
This day in a previous vanilla relationship was very important
and I explained this to Goddess of course she understood.
Unbeknownst to me it was to be a huge day for me with
Goddess also, as I already sent everything possible on payday
weekend there was no possibility to send a gift for her
birthday or Valentines. First I knew of it was a tweet with the
caption ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, Bianca!’ And a clip of her
flushing my key and giggling as she did it.
My Valentines humiliation wasn’t done there, my parents out
for their own Valentine’s meal meant Goddess had more
scope for fun than usual, had me set up
a meal of my own, a slice of toast each
for me and my childhood teddy bear
and a cup of my own piss from a pink
Over the next couple of weeks there
was a period of disbelief that the key
actually got flushed, at the time I was
too wrapped up in the moment to truly
realise what happened and bonus
payday was on it’s way and a
subsequent rinse that went with it.
As it wasn’t a full payday the session was a little tease and
small retweet still came up to more than £100. In less than 2
months Goddess had a full grasp of my buttons and how to
absolutely fully take advantage of them. I already knew I’d
fallen for her, everything so fresh and fun no chance of
anything getting stale.
It was around this time I earned the privilege of having her
phone number, the very first call, to get my debit card details
to send herself tributes via delivery code, my life was slowly
becoming my fantasy.
“the idea is to look mesmerising... that way it’s easier
to fuck you up...”
By this point Goddess knows pretty much
everything about me to make me weak,
used to the idea I’ll absolutely never fuck
again and won’t be able to have another
normal orgasm. To fully take advantage of
my constantly weakened state, small
tributes are sent whilst I’m working and
being teased in clips of how fucked I’ll be
later, I love being reminded by Goddess of
how easily she can make a mess of me
This month for me is when we start really developing our
relationship, it’s absolutely always been about D/s but it’s this
time when it starts being a genuine friendship. There was
always an interest in our mutual wellbeing, but the first
couple of months and certainly the sessions were about
cultivating an understanding of what makes us click.
Of course it’s always important in the beginning that the
things a sub wants and needs match up with how the Domme
enjoys playing with their subs, but I believe there should be
an element of the sub being willing to stretch themselves and
doing things that the Domme wants to enjoy also. Goddess
and I have never had a problem communicating and every
single session has never been the same as the last one and
this is key.
Throughout the month even though sessions didn’t happen
directly I would receive content via WhatsApp and always felt
connected, through the day we would regularly taking an
interest in the others day. If I was struggling I could always
talk to Goddess and she would lend an ear, for being still
quite early days the level of mutual understanding was
If there were sessions Goddess was having where a sub
wanted to enjoy forced bi then I was sometimes called to be
the sub to bi with. We discussed dressing up in women’s
clothes and the possibility of makeup or face paint, never
once was there any doubt on my part that it was going to
happen. The only question
was of logistics with my
parents around, this life
with Goddess was great for
Something I truly begun to
enjoy during this month was
if there was any spare cash just send a little gift card on
amazon or potentially pay for her coffee or breakfast one
morning. The possibilities for further service was so good and
the mutual enjoyment it brought was absolutely perfect too.
“Mummy can’t wait to have you dressed like a little
slut for her…”
April’s main rinse was the beginning of new experiences,
we’ve spoken on the phone, we text every day, voice notes
and of course clips. As always with paydays being on Fridays
I was working, first tribute as become customary an amazon
gift card, it provides me with great
pride to move away from the
terrible sub I had been before. We
spoke as I worked, in previous
months we played retweet games
on my lunch breaks this day
something new and incredibly exciting happened. We
decided I would turn my phone off and Goddess played a
retweet game without me knowing the time or the stakes.
Goddess knew my budget and I felt confident and able to
trust her to not completely fuck me over, excitedly I turned
my phone back on when I finished work, the game finished
on £60 and Goddess took the full amount using my card
details she took from me previously.
Later that same day another first for me with Goddess was a
Skype session, this session wasn’t very long at all, but it didn’t
have to be, Goddess
knows what she’s doing
with me at this point.
2.5 months in and the
usual of boredom is
nowhere to be seen.
communication both vanilla and kink, content being shared
regularly making everything feel so fresh and a very tight tiny
cage attached to my cock a permanent reminder of my place
at Goddess’s feet. A massive feeling of pride with how my
service and submission was going to this point.
After Skype, a retweet game I had no input and further
draining with another £90 retweet game added in, Goddess
and I discussed how I would submit further, I was a sissy in
name only. Didn’t own panties, certainly not any outfits or
anything of the sort. We ordered a pink body stocking, a
blonde wig and some face paints. It was also around this
point I bought panties from my local Primark.
Once the small sissy outfit arrived of course I tried it but the
nerves were absolutely massive and it wasn’t on for all too
long, playing with face paints a little, I knew it would be
easier with no one around at all. I begun to wear panties to
work and assortment of colours but of course pink was going
to be there any sissy girls favourite colour.
I knew I was the luckiest of girls enjoying the attention I had
with Goddess and being sent content, even sometimes during
her sessions with other subs.
Of course as getting to
know her more and more
and I shared with her
kinks I previously
explored. One of which
centred around oil.
Content was posted of her
ass and body glistening in
oil, I knew and begged for my next session to have oily
content. Passing my 3 month mark and absolutely no end in
sight I was a very happy and content girl.
Mummy’s slut girl bianca
“Mummy owns your orgasms, Mummy owns your
cock, Mummy owns your life and you wouldn’t have it
any other way…”
With my furthering and deepening submission was always
going to come into deeper and more intense
sessions and the next few months really
demonstrate that. My biggest tribute to
Goddess to this point was still £102 from
very early on, the payday session we had
was the most intense one yet. As mentioned
in the last chapter Goddess was using oil all
over her ass and breasts. We had a Skype
session and a huge retweet game, really
introduced to the huge stakes with a bang.
Easily my biggest tribute ever at £340, after
the session there was some aftercare just chatting, but I also
received the most beautiful clip I’d ever seen from Goddess.
This month I associate with blossoming love for Goddess, I
explained earlier on about my previous experiences with
findom one of which not mentioned was a tattoo I had of
someone’s name. I would never say I regretted it because at
the time I loved it, however I really wanted it covering up
because I now serve Goddess Taylor. Quite how and when it
was going to happen I had no idea at all, just knew it needed
to happen at some point.
Through the previous month also looked
into thigh high boots as they are another
fetish of mine, it was sometime this
month Goddess visited a fetish store and
slowly begun purchasing more and more
heels and fetish clothing too. I know
they weren’t all specifically aimed at me
however as I enjoyed her attention more
than most and having an input into what
was bought made me feel very special
Goddess bought my favourite outfit she has ever owned, I
contributed towards this with a few amazon gift cards, I
consider myself probably the luckiest sub in the world. This
month Goddess sent me a 2nd package which contained a
little top and a very small skirt. Combined with the body
stocking created a very slutty outfit indeed. Being alone one
every couple of weeks was being taken advantage of every
single time. I genuinely love my life
“You really, really don’t want it? But you have no
choice, because I own you…”
For our payday session this month I was treated to a very
light session my family were here for the
weekend and decided just a little light
play was needed. Goddess knows me
frighteningly well now and knows every
single button I have and how to press
During this weekend Goddess went to a
fetish shop whilst I was out with my
family and bought the most beautiful
ankle boots and paired them with my
favourite outfit for up to this point the
most intense session ever. At this time I was sending tributes
by bank transfer and were received immediately every time.
The session consisted of massive tease and literally a
bombardment of pics and clips I wasn’t able to think, I had
provided an amount I could stretch to but in the moment this
got smashed apart and a retweet game was played which I
still don’t remember agreeing to was played. This came to a
total of £135 and coupled with sending other tributes the
same day was a total of £350. My limits were continually
stretched and changed. It was amazing to think I have such a
beautiful purpose in life with Goddess.
I certainly wasn’t made to feel like a loser at any other time
except within session when the game and our play needed it,
I was always made to feel comfortable enough to talk to
Goddess about anything I needed to.
There were of course still some moments and things that
were difficult still to bring up, on the rare occasion of letting
Goddess down. The rest of our month was spent planning
and discussing the next payday and the month ahead.
JULY AND AUGUST 2018
“I told you this wasn’t going to be easy, I told you that
cock was going to be very hard and straining against
your little cage....”
I’ve put 2 months into a chapter because July was
unfortunately a massive disaster. Letting Goddess down was
the worst feeling in the world. I made a payment towards my
debt and paid far too much, did at 3 or 4 in the morning and
not fully awake. This meant session plans were totally torn
apart. I frantically tried to get the money back but was
advised it wouldn’t be possible.
Goddess knows me well and knew something was up as I
wasn’t speaking much that
day trying to work out how to
say it. My parents were away
later in the month and we
had discussed covering my
tattoo with a new one
dedicated to Goddess. On a
payday Goddess makes no plans it was just awful.
Over the course of the month I manage to send little bits here
and there and money left by parents for food was sent
straight to Goddess. There were 2 positives this month, with
what money I was able to send I impressed Goddess enough
she sent me a sissy package and on one of the days I went to
a local department store and had full make up applied of
course this was a free service.
I also had the opportunity to change my
job, and on my final pay from the old
job whilst still in training the brutality
of the tease and rinse which followed
no one could predict. To say Goddess
used every one of my weaknesses
against me would be a massive
I got everything thrown at me, my
favourite outfit, thigh high boots, oil,
glossy lips, blown kisses at me. We Skyped there were 2
retweet games and the whole thing came in at £435 the
single biggest rinse I had ever experienced. Even during
breaks at work before I got home the whole day was
relentless and utterly beautiful.
As we all know a new job provides new opportunity my sister
sent £150 to celebrate my new job of course most of this
went to Goddess as she deserves I was well on my way to
redeeming myself from the disaster the previous month. An
interim amount was paid by the new job and Goddess
A great positive of the new job was the creation of new
apparent socialising options an appointment was made and
finally that old tattoo was covered up and Goddess Taylor’s
name was inked onto my arm
forever more. All in all the full
month was of Taylor’s benefit of
£905 it was truly incredible and I
was ecstatic I could fully make up
for the previous months mistake.
Through all of this I truly learned
how kind Goddess but also how
brutally ruthless she can be also.
With Goddess I was in my element.
“Panties.... what panties?....”
With this month, my first full pay and it marks the occasion
when I started making requests that fuck me
over in the worst way. By now almost 7
months locked in a cage, I discovered I can
cum though not always a full orgasm. I still
get very aroused and make some
questionable decisions, like say to Goddess
imagine how much I’d lose my shit if I saw
her pussy. This was a few days before
payday, then on the day itself I asked about
purchasing panties, then
received a clip clearly showing her
panties in her hand. I was in very serious
trouble, a full session total of £300 and
every time I was told send a little more
and I’ll show you I fell for so many
times. Goddess is absolutely the master
manipulator my brain has been entirely
reprogrammed to answer only to her.
Being in the incredibly fortunate
position that I am virtually every day can
feel like a session at times, Goddess knows
me so well and I pay as much as I possibly
can and I’m extremely well rewarded for
my service. Goddess produces mind
blowing content so very often.
The way Goddess teases me with it
genuinely makes me feel like it will
happen, the small little skirt she wore, just
a little higher. Oops send again slut. It was
like this the whole time then a retweet
game to finish it all off and there I am struggling like a mess
My own dressing up was so much fun too, every month some
more panties to wear for work and then change to boxers at
home so I actually wear some to avoid suspicion. I dream of
living alone but it just doesn’t seem
I bought a beautiful pair of heels from
online and they feel almost impossible to
walk but they’re so pretty, one particular
night of wearing them to feel comfortable
in them, I never heard the footsteps on
the stairs till almost too late. I managed
to whip one shoe off and hide but the
other was still on my foot and there was
my mum, explaining something to me.
She never saw the shoes but wow my heart was thumping
extremely fast, what a panic I was in.
Afterwards the first and only person I could tell was Goddess
and we both had such a giggle about it. I posted and shared
on my Twitter but definitely a very scary moment, one I was
extremely careful not to repeat.
“Just trying some outfits on, taking a few clips, ready
to fuck you up with....”
As last month Goddess teased me with wearing no panties,
we discussed some other little fantasies of mine. One such
fantasy was tied to a true story of mine, when I thought I was
a man I still paid for most of my sex. I had booked an escort
to visit my home whilst my parents were away, I requested
she wore thigh high boots and nothing but lingerie under a
trench coat. I explained this to Goddess and said the ultimate
fantasy would be that there was nothing
I didn’t think this would ever happen, after
all it’s a fantasy, but Goddess remembers all
of these suggestions, to my peril. When I
finished work that on payday Goddess told
me I was in for a surprise, little did I realise
the surprise was my fantasy. Just like last
month I received a pic with Goddess
holding her panties and her gleaming
smile. Telling me without words how
fucked I am.
Teased briefly whilst she was naked under coat and being
made to send £120 being denied the view that only real men
can savour. Goddess begun teasing what outfit she would
wear next and fuck me over with.
During our sessions Goddess loves to keep
me tantalised and whilst she was deciding
what to wear I was teased of my impending
doom, she was teasing the possibility of a
glimpse of her pussy and she had her BBC
dildo with her. I was denied seeing
anything, teased into agreeing a high stakes
retweet game and I also ended up bidding
to buy the BBC dildo she had.
The game that was played was massive it
came to a total of £336 it was a massive drain the 2nd largest
tribute I’d ever send to her, it’s funny I write this
remembering the scumbag I used to be running from totals of
£90 and £100 here I am sending over £300 without any
hesitation. Goddess changed me so much for the better and I
was so so proud of it.
At the end of this month my parents were going and unlike in
June I was determined this time it would be a huge success
this time. What makes it extra special is Halloween was
payday, this fun time will be covered next chapter.
I managed to send a little more during the month whilst
being careful to keep cash behind for the first few days of
alone time. I bought my outfit for our Halloween session and
all the ideas we were having were just incredible.
But for the first time I was having doubts, not of Goddess, or
of serving but of me and my life. My new colleagues and my
new job hearing them talk about plans they had of holidays
and their loved ones. Made me begin to desire these things
too, however I was caged and in love and whilst I kept
pushing these thoughts to one side they kept coming back
and gnawing at me
All the plans we were discussing for Halloween took my mind
away from those thoughts and the thought for me was how
exciting it was going to be.
“You just can’t get enough, of worshipping this curvy
My week alone whilst my parents were away was fast
approaching a few ideas were made and set in place. As
always my parents left some money for various things, I put
them to good use, not how they were intended. My parents
were going away on the Monday and
payday and Halloween was the
Wednesday. Because I had the week to
myself I went and bought a pair of ladies
pj bottoms, we also discussed the idea of
having a t shirt printed with Goddess’s
face on and I bought some fake lashes and
nails and I even had a pair of over the
knee boots ordered to finish off the
As we agreed a couple of weeks prior I
paid what was owed for the dildo and the package that
Goddess was sending me and we discussed our plans for
payday evening and our session. I was to be dressed as a
zombie bride, completed with full face paint and nails and
lashes, as well as the boots. Goddess hadn’t decided what she
was wearing as yet.
The whole evening was absolutely
incredible, Goddess wore my
favourite outfit and made pics in my
favourite pose, we Skyped and there
were 2 fairly large retweet games 1 of
£100 and the other for £180 it was
just amazing. I had planned to try
and make a short walk around the
street where I lived and literally shit
myself every time I heard a voice,
Goddess was on FaceTime and every
time I panicked she had a little
giggle. I felt bad for not completing
what I wanted to do but full exposure of that nature is a huge
The next day my package was sent out and I was so grateful
for what was received, body suits, panties, makeup the dildo
absolutely incredible I felt so so lucky.
Then when my parents came home and I was back at work
those thoughts came back again....
NOVEMBER 2018 - APRIL 2019
“Why did I do it!?....”
This is easily the darkest and most difficult to write chapter.
As I discussed earlier I felt swayed by some of the things
being discussed by my work colleagues and I didn’t discuss it
with Goddess, I really don’t know why as we were so so
close. Over the couple of weeks after my parents were back
Goddess noticed something different about me, I didn’t even
notice it myself till Goddess pointed it out. I still did tasks
and spoke every day but something was different.
Over a couple of days we talked about what was wrong and I
mentioned my thoughts about my colleagues and wanting to
try and do things, Goddess was extremely gracious and
understood what I meant and opened the door for me to
leave and I was stunned, I didn’t know what to do. Stupidly I
sought guidance from other places, a Domme who isn’t
findom and a self stylised findom councillor.
Admittedly what I should’ve done was listened to myself I
was lost without Goddess, there were moments when I felt
appeased but no one spoke to me as much as Goddess did.
There was a moment when I started tearing up and spoke to
her on the phone and discussed serving without as much
money and again spoke to my confidants I decided to fully
From November to Christmas there was a goal, a target I felt
ok was doing ok, I missed her still I had everything in the
deleted bin but I couldn’t bring myself to remove everything
there was too many beautiful memories so I restored them
but hid them.
From the new year I started dabbling into findom again with
a few different Dommes but it just felt shit, like cheating. The
influence of the 2 Dommes was diminishing and I felt so so
lost, often opening up my hidden folder, watching the clips of
her blowing kisses, tears dribbling down my cheek ‘you’ll
never want to be away from me, Bianca’ even now I feel like
shit when I hear that. I fucked up and I knew it.
I wanted so bad to message, but I deleted the texts and her
number and felt certain there would be no reply or I wouldn’t
get the response I wanted. I regret massively my actions and I
was suffering as a result.
Then in early March everything changed, the campaign or
project I had worked at was ending, there would be a new
opportunity for us, overseas perhaps if we wanted it. I
applied for the position I’m at now and in early April,
confirmed I was moving to Maastricht, the Netherlands.
My first thought, ‘Taylor would love this’ and I was right.
APRIL AND MAY 2019 REDEMPTION
“I won’t be sending too many clips, until we have a
nice drain session on payday, but welcome back
There was only going to be one Domme I shared this journey
with and the beginning of April 2 weeks till I leave home I
emailed Goddess, detailing what was going to happen. After
a short email exchange Goddess decided to text me, words
cannot describe the elation I felt as I was
I announced my intentions and plans and
we played a very small retweet game for
£35 we agreed a very large session would
need to take place on payday, my last
from the UK it was going to be an
extremely large budget because it was
essentially like a bonus my new job would
start paying relatively quickly.
I was made to feel like I never left so so quickly, once in my
new location while no sessions as such took place, I was set
little tasks to do like dressing up and
doing worship kneels. As always I was
sent pics and clips, I never expected
anything as I hadn’t sent anything
worthwhile till the end of April.
Goddess at this time truly astounded
me, accepting me back despite the
sudden nature of leaving and the level
of attention prior to the session.
As we had a big budget we discussed
the possibility of a massive retweet
game however we came to agree to send the bulk of it in one
huge go, just because, then the rest during the session itself.
For around 5 days before the session I was denied orgasm
and we agreed £1k was to be sent absolutely shattering my
highest tribute ever made and I was so looking forward to it.
When the moment arrived to
hit send on £1,000 to go
straight to Goddess’s hands
was easily the hottest
moment, when Goddess woke
and received a pic of her
smiling and a clip saying
‘welcome back’ I knew I was where I was meant to be, it was
extremely difficult to concentrate at work knowing what was
coming later that night.
A couple of retweet games took the full days send to £1,140
and we spent ages chatting on Skype about future plans and
ideas, everything was coming together and I was a very
happy and grateful girl again. It felt major at the time but
throwing away all my men’s underwear and wearing panties
from then on was a very hot moment.
With my new job I was told we get 2 paydays per month and
my first payday was an interim or overtime pay on 10th May
into my new Dutch bank account. We found a payment
method and enjoyed a small
drain of 150.
Goddess sent me a package
after my huge tribute which
among many girly items was
also a chastity cage, whilst
horny and stupid and feeling
teased, I begged to be locked in chastity and so I was. 8 days
locked and denied till payday.
“What’s wrong Stephanie? I thought you liked this
Once again, finally back in my true place at Goddess Taylor’s
beautiful feet, I renamed myself
Stephanie and Goddess has wholly
embraced that. I came back with a
bang, with a huge £1k tribute and a
session in the evening to drain a little
more. Eventually when it arrived my
first full day for a full session and tease.
The beautiful day arrived, but here the
pay doesn’t hit the account until the
middle of the day, waiting for the
deposit notification to hit so I can send.
There were no immediate retweet games but big chunks of
sent amounts. 250 on payday, 150 a week later and
another 150 a few days later again. My life was turning into
a huge session. The promised unlocking and spunk was one
of the most intense I’ve experienced, literally launched onto
my iPad onto Goddess’s face on there. I was told to clean
myself up and my iPad.
I truly belong to Goddess Taylor I absolutely know this, it’s
my happy place, I already know I can trust her from my
previous time in service. But this time feels different there is
nothing that can hold me back from
being the girl I want to be. We had some
fun and exciting ideas which we acted
upon, my ears have been pierced, I
bought lovense hush butt plug and the
most exciting change was a planned
extension of the tattoo of Taylor’s name
on my arm.
Goddess is and forever will be the pride
of my life. Coming back to serve was the
best idea I ever had and the freedom of living alone makes
serving gradually a no limits experience. Away from work I
wear only ladies pjs and loungewear, I wear at least panties
every day and I’m in touch with Goddess more than I was the
first time. My service is absolute.
The payment method we had been
using extracts a charge because it
converts money from my to
Goddess’s £. Goddess informed me of a
card we can get called Revolut, I set up
the account in my name and send to
Goddess. Also this way I can watch
whilst Goddess sends, it’s an absolute
perfect scenario as there are no
charges, regardless of currency.
Before the card even arrived there was £100 on there, it was
extremely exciting times. I was dressing up regularly, not
always full makeup, but regularly. I was practicing walking in
my boots properly, my life as a much more feminine person
was definitely taking shape.
“You’re just going to be my little toy to fuck about
In the build up to the end of June payday we discussed other
ways to tease and torture me, one
of which is the concept of isolation.
This means Goddess takes control
of my Facebook and Twitter, then
change the password and access
information so I can’t get back in.
Then also to be blocked on
messengers, my only way of a
contact is 2 emails per day one in the morning and one in the
evening. The first time we tried it I failed quite spectacularly
and it was a disaster but we learned to be more disciplined
the more we did it.
Payday brutality blends in with everyday now, I’m fucked
about with often the only difference is I pay and I tend to pay
quite big too. A new pink plastic cage had been ordered and
arrived very quickly, much more reliable it is the same brand
as the steel cage I previously used.
Goddess revels in the lack of limits I have broken down into a
wanton whore, fully feminised except
when I’m at work or out wandering. This
payday contained a very expensive
retweet game of 164 and other amounts
sent. I have become a constant desperate
mess and the control exerted is absolute.
As my limits were slowly being reduced
to nothing I also became more brave and
daring, whilst staying at the original
hotel I arrived to I visited their bar,
dressed in a fully feminine ensemble, a
black body, jeans, my wig, a little bit of makeup and my thigh
high boots. Incredibly nervous but I pressed on regardless
stayed for one drink and left. I had one headphone in my ear
and was being messaged by Goddess.
My femininity was starting to shine
through and Goddess agreed when I
suggested to get a manicure. This was
another big thing for me as a habit I had
was picking my nails (gross I know) but I
kicked this for Goddess and visited a local
beauty bar and had them done
I’m extremely proud of my level of service up to this point
and Goddess’s nurturing way of owning me was allowing me
“Lets take a look at something.... you’ll never get....”
As always I massively look forward to payday and being
drained by Goddess, this month was no different, but the
night before Goddess spent it with a BBC.
This drives me crazy in a way that some
will find difficult to grasp, I’ll try to
explain here. Yes Goddess Taylor is my
Domme and no I’ll absolutely never ever
have a chance with her, but, that doesn’t
stop me loving and desiring her as a
vanilla man does his wife. She is for me,
my soul mate, she’s the light in my life.
Don’t get me wrong she deserves all of
the pleasure and mine is to serve her, but
these nights drive me crazy.
Goddess takes advantage of this and teases me with sex
stories on occasion, I was teased into a 220 retweet game
and was treat to many clips and pics teasing what I’ll never
have. I was in cuck heaven then when all was paid up I was
sent the full sex story and I must have stroked fully to this I’m
surprised my cock didn’t fall off.
I also had to be out of my hotel room that my work was
paying for and a work colleague said I could use their spare
room, the money was paid so unfortunately less for Goddess
this month. It was absolutely worth it to have a roof over my
Again we played with the isolation this month and the plan
was to be blocked for a week but some sad news from home
about a close relative and the
possibility of having to go home.
During this time Goddess was so
supportive of me and with the
blessing of family decided I
wasn’t going home.
The mid month pay most of it
was sent to Goddess in
recognition of her incredible support for me. The pressing
concern towards the end of the month was once again
accommodation and I ended up in a hotel, but mercifully
once again fully alone and able to serve my Goddess the way
“I think after you’ve spunked this once, Stephanie’s
gonna be locked up, cos she’s been a dirty little slut
and needs more discipline, more control ....”
This month saw a massive degradation in
myself, as discussed last chapter about
Goddess and BBC she was with one on
payday night. The buildup to this was so
different, we had a conversation about
being sensible because my housing
situation wasn’t great, then after this the
idea was being blocked for a week, be
unblocked payday and having a little
session as usual.
When I was unblocked, Goddess told me
she wouldn’t be around for long as she
was meeting a BBC. Obviously as always this messed me up,
but the next day it got much worse as she spent most of the
day there too. Safe to say I was a mess and gave in to send
very quickly and easily.
We agreed during our
session I would be locked
back up as I had stroked
and spunked far too much
whilst I was blocked and
when she was subsequently
busy. This weekend was a
long bank holiday weekend
and Sunday was spent
reflecting on how very
fucked I was, a little retweet game was played to determine
how long I’d be locked for and the total was over 2 months.
Monday morning my full realisation hit and once Goddess
woke I announced I was going to throw my key in the river,
finally understanding my place and understanding I’d never
fuck another woman again. Goddess was very happy with
this idea and after briefly explaining my feelings, it went.
This was beginning of a no limit Stephanie no boundaries for
Goddess to fuck me up with. Over the following days it was
teased that even the last key would disappear and in the mid
month pay it did.
Another new element in my tease sessions is being lied to,
ripped off and exploited, so in this session I was told my key
would disappear unless I did everything I was told to. I was
asked to give 2 amounts one that was safe to spend, and the
2nd that could be sent, I was a little confused by this but a
little later it was apparent.
Goddess told me we were going to play a retweet game and if
if it went over the lower amount
and it was fully paid I would be
rewarded by her not flushing my
key, the lower amount was 100
and the higher 150. The full
total was 156 and it was paid, in
our conversation on WhatsApp
Goddess went silent which
always fills me with dread, then a
Twitter notification popped tagging me explaining she lied
and I was permanently in chastity for the 2nd time.
My degradation this month didn’t stop there, I visited a local
gay bar and ended up sucking
someone’s dick, I was far too drunk
to remember properly and fully, a
week later I met someone from
Grindr and sucked them off too,
they wanted to cum on my ass,
which was so hot.
Then finally after plucking up the
courage, I dressed myself in a little
top, jeans, my flat shoes and
obviously wig and makeup and went
for a night out and what an incredible time that was, really
reminds me how lucky I am
“There will only be you to blame for your stupid little
This months payday drain took place over 2 days, and day 1
felt like easily the most extreme ever. We took to playing with
Facebook, which I honestly said make me feel like I’ll regret
it. I admit they were the words I used, but the manner in
which it was done felt extremely real.
In my mind I expected for things to be posted then removed,
which in reality is what happened or
they weren’t even posted or posted so
only I could see. The greatest thing
about it is the amount of trust and
belief I have in Goddess. She can make
me believe anything and it’s so easy for
We Skyped and played a very large
retweet game which came to a total of
336, whilst also sending another 90
to have things ‘removed’ from Facebook. Day 2 played out in
a similar way with another smaller retweet game of 210.
We also played a little small rip off game centred around
seeing Goddess’s pussy. Goddess proposed if I send 35
because I already sent so much then she
would show me, I ended up sending
100 and saw nothing. Another
example of me believing anything she
A small period of isolation was created
over a weekend designed to get me to
actively search for an apartment and
this was successful so this beautiful
amazing time may continue.
When I got my interim pay, I decided
to gift my Goddess a lingerie set
completely out of the blue which I
absolutely love to do Goddess
deserves everything. We begun
playing some very toxic games,
wherein I would block family and
friends from home overnight or for a
few hours, but will reiterate it is only
fantasy play and they are unblocked
The games that we play are based around sexualising toxic
behaviours, this is manifested in Goddess having total access
to my Facebook and whilst we Skype Goddess goes through
my friends list giggling and removing them. The end goal of
removing my Facebook altogether which limits the amount of
effect it can have vanilla friends.
The final thing to mention this month as I am without limits
now I dressed myself in a tiny top, leather skirt, thigh high
boots and a full lingerie set underneath and went for a little
walk in my local area. Very nerve wracking but oh so fun.