MozesResumePDF (PDF)

Mozes Waattoff (AKA “Tibor Mozes Ambrus”)
456 Elm Ave., Long Beach, CA 90802
Phone+TextMsging: (323) 723-BUNK (2865)

Hepi “Fat Rat” Waattoff
Lives with: Mozes Waattoff
Contact: Mozes Waattof

About Us ~ Who we are ~ Gmail ~ Yelp ~ Youtube ~ Photos

Dream Job Search: 24-Hour Roadside Assistance While Guarding Cock & Balls
Locksmith, Translator, Preacher, Traveler
Locksmith License # 5313 (California): Current
Jewish-Hungarian; grew up in California
Born in: Tatabanya, Hungary
Vegetarian with only a little faith

Rodent & Bird Catcher; Humiliator of bugs & pests
Doggie-stray found by Mozes Waattoff
Cairn Terrier-Dotson; still growing up in LA
Born in: Somewhere in Los Angeles (?)
Carnivorous, faithful, fast, on high alert!

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Objective: Find a career where we can conjointly utilize our skills & past work experience to improve customer service. Both
of us are dependable, and we promise to be responsible as your representative salespeople, locksmith, provider of 24/7 on-call
roadside assistance, or in another way: a representative of your company. There is a need for our services in many places in the
world, so our goal is to replace your low-yield, high-maintenance employee(s). We are able to provide the labor you previously
required of at least 2 laborers. We are willing to relocate to almost anywhere.
Goals for income and work environment: Starting income goal is $600/month + room and board (that’s $150/week, plus food
for both of us, and a place to clean up and sleep in). Long-term income goal of $100k+/year should be reached within 5 years.
We can relocate to anywhere in the world where the local people welcome our services, including thoroughfares where there is
a heavy amount of traffic, off-the-beaten-path (rural areas), and/or areas where other individuals who provide similar services
as we do, are just too scared & wimpy to go (because we are not).

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Skills ~ What We know how to do

Unlock car doors & open most vehicle trunks
Change out flat tires & jump start vehicles
Pick most residential locks & extract broken keys
Repair/rekey/replace about half of vehicle ignitions
Key-makes for vehicles from scratch, by code, from the glove
box or trunk lock, or by the impression process
Rekey residential & commercial (mortis) locks
Type 60+ WPM on a QWERTY keyboard; Windows XP
Speak fluent English & Hungarian; some Spanish, too
Lift 100+ pounds (lumber/materials, weed gardens for fun)
Make deliveries with Class-C Driver’s License in CA
Use most locksmith tools (HPC key-cutting machine, pick gun,
plug spinner, T-code, Kwikpull, etc.)

Hepi

• Smarter, faster and happier than the Wizard of Oz dog (cousin)
• Greet guests with front paws while standing on back legs
• Catch rats, mice, rodents, birds, cockroaches, squirrels & more
• Photo model; sleepy-sniffer; connoisseur of smells
• Listen to problems without complaining & lick your ears
• Stay quiet, except I bark at: unnecessary aggression, other dogs,
cats & animals, drunks & people on drugs like crack & PCP
• Can squeeze into small & tight spaces
• Understand balance & bike navigation
• Provide guidance to bicycle navigator; help navigate
• Guard camping gear, food, tools and other resources
• Yelp bark attempts & howl at fire trucks

We Both:
• Contain an explosive energy resource
• Have managed property (real estate) & tenants (rent)
• Trainable to guard the cock & balls (view photos)
• Can heal most skin problems (dermatitis, rashes, etc.)

Employment History for Tibor Mozes Ambrus:
 Feb. ’11 – May ’13 + Feb. ’05 - Aug. ‘06, Laborer, Tib’s European Quality Construction, Concord, CA
Performed daily labor duties as father’s business demanded (this is a “the” family business).
 Feb. ’09 - Jan. '11, Mobile Automotive & Residential Locksmith, Pop-A-Lock, San Diego, CA.
Manufactured keys for customers' cars, performed car-door unlocks for hundreds of customers,
automotive trunk openings & residential door lock picks & rekeys, ignition repairs/replacement.
 Jan. '08 - Feb. '09, Mobile Automotive Locksmith, Cars Unlocked, San Diego, CA
Performed vehicle ignition repairs, replacements & re-keys, manufactured keys for customers' cars
from scratch (lost/stolen keys), unlocked customers' car doors, opened locked trunks for already
unlocked cars, & picked customers' residential door locks who were locked out of their home.
 Sept.‘06 - Jan. ’08, Roadside Assistance Tech, Knockout Lockouts, Inc., San Jose, CA.
Increased call volume in my area by 30% by improving customer feedback scores & by lowering
ETA average consistently for one year. Customer service duties included unlocking customers' cars,
changing out flat tires, & performing jump starts & some minor repairs. I also worked for the same
company in the East-Oakland / Hayward area and in San Diego.
 Dec. ‘03 – Jan. ‘05, Relationship (Account) Manager, Dealerfusion, Concord, CA.
Maintained 25-30 accounts (car dealership inventory/sales/prices) at a time. Daily duties included
inventory management, pricing, sales of upgraded products, meetings with sales managers of used car
dealerships, use of Karpower software, and staging vehicles for photos. Internet and local newspaper ads.
 Mar. ‘03 - Nov. ’03, Processor of Residential Real Estate Appraisals, BofA, Concord, CA.
Audited large volume of residential real estate appraisals for errors, coordinated between my
employer & appraisers (accounts) regarding updates & repairs for glitches in appraisal reports.
Mar. '01 - Mar. '03, Sole Proprietorship, Owner/CEO, SFBayDeals, San Francisco Bay Area, CA.
My own personal computer & network equipment liquidation business. Bought, sold & repaired
various computer & network equipment & liquidation auctions in the Bay Area, & on eBay.
 Sept. ‘00 - Mar. ’01, Dispatcher & Data Entry Clerk, Williams Communications, San Ramon, CA.
Dispatched 6 to 8 technicians providing support for Nortel hardware & software in the Seattle area,
answered in-bound calls from techs in a call center, logged techs' work on their time cards for payroll.
 June '99 - Sept. '99, Retail Sales team member & Inventory/Stocking Clerk, CompUSA, Concord,
CA Sold products from retail store shelves to customers, kept stores shelves stocked in my assigned
department, & helped manage store inventory for my assigned departments.
Other Accomplishments & Skills:
 Bilingual. Fluent in Hungarian & speak a little Spanish, too
 Typing speed of 50 -75 wpm on a computer keyboard. CompTIA A+ Certified in June of 2001
 Familiar with LAN/IP, Internet gateways, switches & routers, crimp tools, Cisco, & PC-based
hardware/software such as Microsoft Windows XP and Vista, PCI slots and serial ports
 Graduate of Northgate High School, Walnut Creek, CA, Class of 2000
 Previous attendee of Diablo Valley College in Concord, CA and DeVry University in Fremont, CA
Recreational: Meeting new people, discovering, learning new skills, attending school, reminiscing
Mozes
 Beer, wine, milk & honey tasting
 Hiking, traveling & sightseeing
 Not accustomed to partying or lewd,
drunken behavior

Hepi
 Beer, wine, milk & honey tasting
 Hiking, traveling & sightseeing
 Not accustomed to partying or
lewd, drunken behavior

Tibor Mozes Ambrus
Introducing: Mozes Waattoff
Weeder of Gardens
456 Elm Avenue, Long Beach, CA 90802
(323) 723-BUNK (2865) ~ Gmail

*MOZES WEEDETH*
I am Mozes, Locksmith, Preacher,
Scribe & Translator who weedeth.
Here is my resume
That thou needeth.
I see weeds growing
Between rocks on your land.
I grip them strong,
And pulleth out by hand.
I weedeth.
I harbor the labor that thou needeth.
Work to do, with you I pleadeth.
I care not for money, relationships,
Or other human things.
Neither do I care to understand
What sadness that brings.
Oh LORD, thy creation is large in size.
Thy work has proven great, for thou art wise.
On thine land art many rocks & stones,
Like concrete sidewalks, asphault roads,
And new construction
Where we see cones.
It's time we got together to talk about
Those weeds & things you'd rather be without.
I see a weed that grows on your land in my site.
I grip it strong & hold it tight.
I grab it by the roots without any doubt.
Then I gather my strength, and pull it out.
I weedeth.
When I weedeth, my stress is reduced.
That is what I have deduced.
I prefer to rest among the grasses –
My place of refuge away from the masses.

Ref. Matthew Chapter 13
He set another parable before them, saying, “The kingdom of
heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed of
grain in his field, but while men were sleeping, his enemy
came and sowed weeds among the good seed and went away.
But when the stalks from the good seed sprouted and
produced grain, then the weeds also appeared. Then after the
slaves of the master of the house came, they said to him, “Sir,
didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Then where have the
weeds come from?” So he said to them, “An enemy has done
this.” Therefore the slaves said to him, “Then, do you wish
that we go and pick them?” But he said, “No, lest while you
are picking the weeds, you uproot the good grain together
with them. Permit them both to grow together until the
harvest; and when it is the time of harvest I will tell the
harvesters, ‘First gather up the weeds and tie them into
bundles to burn them up, and then gather the wheat into my
barn.’ ” Then when he left the crowds, he went into the
house. And his disciples came to him, saying, “Explain to us
the parable of the weeds of the field.”