Mozes&HepiResume (PDF)

Tibor
Mozes
Ambrus
Introducing: Mozes Waattoff
Venice, CA 90802
telefon/voicemail/text/SMS:
(323) 723-BUNK (2865)

Hepi “Fat-Rat” Waattoff
Venice, CA 90802
Lives with: Mozes
Contact: Mozes

Traveler & Vegetarian Health Coach
Preacher of the Truth!
Locksmith License # 5313 (California)

Pestfinder & Humiliator of Pests
Greeter of the Guests!
Pest Control Technician (in training)

Dream
Job
Search
24/7 Roadside Assistance
While

Guarding Cock & Balls

Objective: to conjointly utilize our skills, knowledge and past work experience in order to
drive product and service sales aggressively forward for our employer. Our future employer’s
expectation of us will be to increase product and service sales dramatically through multiple
forms of advertising and sales techniques, during which time customers’ needs will also be met
with patience, kindness, respect, confidence and customer service beyond compare.

Knowledge & Skills
 Roadside assistance: vehicle jump starts,
tire changes, vehicle door/trunk lockouts
 Pick most residential locks and padlocks
 Repair/rekey/replace vehicle ignitions
 Automobile flat-key makes from scatch,
by code, lock disassembly/reassembly,
or by impression / any method available.
 Rekey residential, automotible and
commercial (mortis) locks
 Type 60+ WPM
 Bilingual: Speak fluent English &
Hungarian; some Spanish, too
 Weed out gardens and also lift 100+
pounds (lumber/materials)
 Operate a forklift & electric pallet jack
 Program keys with computer chip (T-code)

 Ride bicycle as a calm & quiet passenger
 Greet and welcome guests (child-friendly)
 Catch rodents, mice, rats and vermin
 Humiliate cockroaches, traumatize squirrels
 Chase birds, cats and lizards
 Listen to problems without complaining
 Bark at people who are aggressive, sneaky,
drunk, secretive or on crack (tested in east LA)
 Understand balance and bike navigation
 Assist bicyclists with navigation
 Guard home base (working on it!)
 Run very fast; keep up with bigger dogs
 Very attentive to training and learning
 Contain an explosive energy resource
(still undiscovered!)

 Guard the cock and balls (trainable)
 Heal Most skin problems (dermatitis, rashes, acne, etc.)

Employment History:
 Feb. ’09 - Jan. '11, Mobile Automotive and Residential Locksmith,
company confidential, San Diego, CA
Manufactured keys for customers' cars, performed car-door unlocks for hundreds of customers,
automotive trunk openings and residential door lock picks, rekeys, repaired/replaced ignitions.
 Jan. '08 - Feb. '09, Mobile Automotive Locksmith,
company confidential, San Diego, CA
Performed vehicle ignition repairs, replacements and re-keys, manufactured keys for customers'
cars from scratch (lost/stolen keys), unlocked customers' car doors, opened locked trunks for
already unlocked cars, and picked customers' residential door locks as workload demanded.
Sept.‘06 - Jan. ’08, Roadside Assistance Technician (Driver),
company confidential, San Jose, CA
Increased call volume in my territory by 30% by improving customer feedback scores, and by
lowering ETA average consistently for one year. Customer service duties included unlocking
customers' cars, changing out flat tires, and performing jump starts and some minor repairs.
Mar. ‘03 - Nov. ’03, Processor of Residential Real Estate Appraisals,
company confidential, Concord, CA
Audited large quantities of residential real estate appraisals for errors, coordinated between my
employer and appraisers (accounts) regarding updates and repairs required on appraisal reports.
 Mar. '01 - Mar. '03, Sole Proprietorship, Owner/CEO,
SFBayDeals, San Francisco Bay Area, CA
My own personal computer and network equipment liquidation business. Bought, sold and
repaired various computer/network in the Bay Area, and online at eBay and craigslist.
Sept. ‘00 - Mar. ’01, Dispatcher & Data Entry Clerk,
company confidential, San Ramon, CA
Dispatched 6 to 8 technicians on a constant basis, providing support for Nortel hardware and
software in the Seattle area, answered in-bound calls from techs in a call center, logged techs'
work on their time cards for payroll.
 June '99 - Sept. '99, Retail Sales team member and Inventory/Stocking Clerk,
CompUSA, Concord, CA
Sold products from retail store shelves to customers, kept stores shelves stocked in my assigned
departments, and helped manage store inventory for my assigned departments.

*Mozes Weedeth*
I am Mozes, Locksmith, Preacher,
Scribe & Translator who weedeth.
Here is my resume
That thou needeth.
I see weeds growing
Between rocks on your land.
I grip them strong,
And pulleth out by hand.
I weedeth.
I harbor the labor that thou needeth.
Work to do, with you I pleadeth.

It's time we got together to talk about
Those weeds & things you'd rather be without.

I care not for money, fools,
Or any other human things.
Neither do I care to understand
What distress that brings.

I see a weed growing on your land in my site.
I grip it strong & hold it tight.
I grab it by the roots without any doubt.
Then I gather my strength, and pull it out.

Oh LORD, thy creation is large in size.
Thy work has proven great, for thou art wise.

I weedeth.

On thine land art many rocks and stones
Like concrete sidewalks, asphault roads,
And new construction
Where we see cones.

When I weedeth, my stress is reduced.
That is what I have deduced.
I prefer to rest among the grasses –
My place of refuge away from the masses.

Tibor Mozes Ambrus
Introducing: Mozes Waattoff
~ Weeder of Gardens ~
Telefon: 323 ~ 723 ~ BUNK
llámame ~ Call me if you need me to weed someone out
Ref. Matthew Chapter 13
He set another parable before them, saying:
The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed of grain in his
field, but while people were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the
good seed and went away. But when the stalks from the good seed sprouted and
produced grain, then the weeds also appeared.
Then afterwards, the servants of the master of the house came and said to him:
“Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Then where have the weeds come from?”
So, he said to them:
“An enemy has done this.”
Therefore the servants said to him:
“Then, do you wish that we go and pick them?”
But he said:
“No, lest while you are picking the weeds, you uproot the good grain together with them.
Permit them both to grow together until the harvest; and when it is the time of harvest
I will tell the harvesters:
‘First gather up the weeds and tie them into bundles to
burn them up, and then gather the wheat into my barn.’
Then when he left the crowds, he went into the house. And his disciples came to him, saying:
“Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field.”