RyncarzFireFlamesApplication .pdf

 

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(how  I  watch  every  Astros  game  on  my  couch)  
 
I,  Cory  Ryncarz,  am  a  good  fit  for  the  Fire  Flames  League,  for  one,  
because  I’m  not  another  sorry  Vikings  fan—I’m  a  sorry  Texans  fan.  If  the  
goal  is  to  have  an  “active”  league,  I’m  a  perfect  match,  as  I’ll  be  right  
there  drafting  the  handcuff  to  your  1st  round  pick  and  dangling  you  
trade  offers  with  him  an  hour  after  the  draft  is  over.  In  terms  of  a  team  
name,  I’d  like  to  abstain  for  now  if  permissible,  as  I  usually  go  for  a  
name  including  a  cringe-­‐worthy  pun  of  one  of  my  as-­‐yet-­‐to-­‐be-­‐drafted  
fantasy  stars.  For  now,  “Clever  Name  Pending*”  or  “The  FNG”  will  
suffice.    
 

(inspirational/representative imagery)

  

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CORY RYNCARZ’S FIRST FANTASY RESUME
v Participated in other “paid” leagues before where nobody collected
money beforehand. Finished out of the money in all of them, pretty
sure I never paid for any either.
v Proudly (yet modestly) brag about “breaking even” in paid Yahoo Pro
Leagues that I’ve resorted to the past 2 years in order to get a
competitive league experience in lieu of participating in leagues with
people who I know more about than their yahoo email address and
avatar.
v Not sure if I’ve ever actually won a league, which means I definitely
have not.
REAL LIFE ACCOMPLISHMENTS
v Worked at Rutgers University Athletics doing video production, which
means I’m practically a sports insider.
v Did the same as a student at Northwestern University, which means
I’m always pleasantly surprised by any “win.”
v Currently live with my mother, who is a successful, admirable woman.
v Done my part to save the world; I’m a vegetarian.
v Lastly, nominated to this league by Henry Spindell, whom I befriended
partly out of sympathy after burning him repeatedly running “go”
routes in practices for our first intramural football team. He’s a good
kid, though.

 
For  your  humble  consideration,    
 
Humbly,  
 
Cory  Ryncarz