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Great Food Alliance Report - u/The-Potato-Lord
Horrific Scenes as WASA Damaged by
Explosion and War Declared.
Tensions rise as war is declared. Monuments are erected and a
Saddle up Boys, War is Coming
“WE’VE BEEN HIT, WE’VE BEEN HIT” yelled a Watermelon scientist desperately, panic in his
eyes. The explosion (seen above) that ripped through one of WASA’s (the Watermelon
space agency) brand new rockets also destroyed WASA’s operations centre killing several
and injuring dozens of others. The explosion was traced back to the r/CarrotEmpire within
minutes (see picture below) and a wave of horror and revulsion rushed over the countries
of the Great Food Republic (GFA). The attack was strongly condemned by the leaders of the
various nations. u/Khytgl, the leader of the Cabbages declared a national emergency calling
the scenes “apocalyptic” and promised to “protect the children.”
The national leaders decided that immediate action was required as rumours emerged that
the Carrots may be working on biological and chemical weapons. The Grand Admiral of
Yam Military u/Archie357 declared war in a short announcement in the
r/GreatFoodAlliance. In a passionate speech he explained “The last straw has been reached
in the rising conflicts with the Carrot Empire. A few hours ago, they bombed the
Watermelon Astronautics and Space Associations base, killing all personnel stationed there
[...] we cannot allow them to get away with this. This is war.”
The military might of the r/YamMilitary is significant and it is suspected that they will
decimate any Carrot resistance however victory is not currently assured. To aid with troop
enlistment u/ZAWGURN created a propaganda image, (see below left). The Yam military
engaged in some targeted aerial bombing in an attempt to destroy key Carrot assets, (see
Moments before war was declared the leader of the Carrots u/Sir_Oakijak wrote a missive
to the r/Leguminati seeking to create closer ties with them. In his missive he wrote “I am
sending this message to formally accept your proposal of an alliance on one condition, you
cease hostilities with everyone,” at time of printing there has been no official response.
Today, u/Sqrlchez of r/CabbageCountry made a startling revelation that surprised and
shocked in equal measure. It turns out that counter to common assumptions the true
location of the Cabbage country is the moon! Not only that but u/Sqrlchez even provided
proof for their assertion (see below). On any other day the admission that the moon had
been Cabbage territory all along would have been headline news but due to the events in
our main story this story must alas take second place.
Liberty Rears its Leeky Head and We Gain a New Ally.
Today has been a great day for r/LeekLand as it’s leader u/LeekLord was able to proudly
unveil a great new monument in Leek lands centre, (see below left). The monument is
known as the Statue of Leekberty and was described as “A Symbol to All of the Freedom We
Strive For!” by u/LeekLord.
As this report enters it’s fourth day we were delighted to learn
that a new member has been added to the Great Food Alliance
(GFA). u/FlyingMozerella today revealed the r/AppleRepublic a
glorious nation whose
flag is displayed on the
When does a trickle become a flood?
Devastation hits the Yam Republic as their numbers decrease by a stunning 119
subscribers overnight. By comparing the subscriber count across the three previous
reports (see graph below) we can see the downward trend begin and then spiral out of
control. Although we suspect this hemorrhaging of subscribers will be short lived it is a bad
sign for the great r/YamRepublic, especially in war times. When questioned on this topic
u/Bluy98888 the defacto leader of the Yam Republic responded “There is a lot of apathy in
the republic, sadly we need to encourage meme creation or it will go dry.” He also made
clear that he did not believe the carrots were responsible for the losses and that “Sadly I
can only control what happens in the military subs.”
Pope Popatine Makes an Appearance.
u/PixelPineapplei of r/PotatoEmpire today released an image of the Potato Pope that may
haunt your dreams for years to come, (see below). Reaction to the picture was divided,
u/0Atlas0 - Pope of the Potato Republic described the picture of himself as “cool.”
Meanwhile, u/The_Chill_Dill took issue with u/PixelPineapplei’s description of the picture as
“beautiful” stating “beautiful might be a stretch.”
Plum Republic News Round Up
In two separate speeches u/Shudson777 the Prime Minister of r/PlumRepublic kept to his
two key election promises - investment in space and medical technology. He first revealed
that PASTA (the Plums space agency) had successfully launched its first satellite into space
(see below left). Later on the same day he made his way to the microphone again to
announce that Plum scientists had found a cure for the common cold in Plum Extract, (see
below right). One medical expert explained that though the research is exciting more trials
would be required to assess the treatment's efficacy.
Bill 008 sponsored by u/Archie357 was a bill designed to control the use of weapons of
mass destruction such as the Yam-Tron. It is passed without dissent.
Bill 009 sponsored by u/Nippafey is an attempt to have all the capital cities of the food
cities named.The bill is likely to pass.
Facts and Statistics as of 19th of April 2017
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