UROPHILIA

What is urophilia?  Urophilia, or urolagnia, is a sexual variation in which a person derives sexual excitement from urine or urination.  Plainly put, they get excited by wee.  Recent research by top historians has revealed that many evil figures throughout history were urophiliacs: including Hitler, Stalin, Fred (formerly Sir) Goodwin, and Freddy Krueger.  Experts recommend the following precautions when dealing with urophiliacs:  Protective clothing & gloves  Breathing apparatus  No financial responsibility  A 5m ‘safe zone’  UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOWER WITH A UROPHILIAC. YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE. MARCUS FOR SUCC TREASURER (Sorry Pete.)  Urophilia and You: As Dangerous As It Sounds…? UROPHILIACS ARE AN INSIDIOUS MENACE Whilst it may seem that what people get up to in the privacy of their own showers is nobody’s business but their own, recent research has demonstrated the following: Though many great leaders of our society — Bear Grylls, for instance — drink their urine to survive, there are those who do so for more perverse reasons than it’s sterile and they like the taste.  Urophiliacs are responsible for 82% of global warming through their lengthy showers.  Thousands of kittens and puppies across the globe die annually at the hands of urophiliacs.  Over 90% of the shareholders and directors of the companies who caused the 2008 financial crash were urophiliacs. This proves that they cannot be trusted with any financial responsibility at all.  I’ve run out of ideas already, so here’s a nice cartoon to reinforce my point: